Bugs Bleat 4Q 08

Volume 10, Issue 52 Friday, December 26, 2008

Hello All,

We had a great, semi relaxed Christmas with our kids and loved ones. There was plenty of food and fun for everyone. The highlight of Christmas morning was Annette opening her 25th present to find a Wii “music” game. She looked up and asked me if she could play it on the computer? I told her “no, you can only play it on a Wii.” “Well” she said; “How am I going to play it?” I replied, “On your new Wii.”
Then the light came on and she asked me where it was.
We’ve had fun playing the games but the most fun has been creating the Wii characters for all of us. I think David, Mike, Vanessa and mine are the most lifelike.
~~~~~
As the economic news seems to get worse every day, and we hear of more and more folks losing their jobs, I think back to how my three grandfathers’s survived the “Great Depression.”
I don’t know how exactly my paternal Grandfather, James Lawton McClellan, survived the depression but his children were involved in the oil protection business and had regular work during those hard times. I don’t have any memories of particular hard times for them.
My maternal Grandfather, Fort Henry Taylor, was a “mule trader” who had acquired quite a bit of land before the hard times hit. He supported his family during those dark times by selling that land slowly to International Paper Company. At the start of World War II, he had about 50 acres left and his family had never really known hunger or severe want.
My stepfather, James Watson Duke, didn’t fare as well. He was a child when the depression began and his father, James Watson Duke Sr., had a general store on the south east side of the square. When the farmers he’d extended credit to couldn’t pay their bills, he was unable to pay his bills and lost his store. Not long after losing his store, he went blind due to diabetes and it fell upon my stepfather to support his mom, dad, and two sisters. “Tammy” Duke convinced a local business man to loan him $10 which he used to open a hamburger stand in the back of a blacksmith shop located on north Washington Street, near where Wilson Bearden Pharmacy now stands. His business was successful and he kept his family fed during those tough times. Eventually he opened the “Chatterbox” café and that eatery supported family while he was away during World War II.
So, three different stories but all three families survived. And even prospered in spite of adversity.
~~~~~
As these tough times get tougher, we need to ensure that our friends and neighbors are not forgotten. Local food banks and homeless shelters need your help more than ever. And remember, God will not forget your charity to those in need.
~~~~~
Our lives are composed of equal parts past present and future. Sometimes, we have to let the Lord rebuild our past. Sometimes we have to let him fix our present. All of us need to invite him to rule our
future. I've been blessed to have joy in all three phases.
~~~~~
Thinking of the 1930s, reminded me of “Well Water and Sweat.” The story of my mother and her siblings growing up in the first third of the last century. My grand dad was a farmer and a trader. The trading part involved buying or trading for things, and then selling or trading them for items of greater value. He was also called a “Mule Trader.”
The farm part, involved raising food and cotton. With seven kids, it was expected that everyone would share the work. No watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. A farm is work. But work can be fun.
My mother often told stories of her brothers and sisters. Like the time they decided to build a fire. This was no easy task since they were forbidden to play with matches. The solution seemed to be to hide the fire from prying adult eyes. They thought for a few days and then decided that the one place the adults never went was under the house. So, they built their fire under the house. They just forgot to consider what the adults reaction would be when smoke started coming through the floor.
Some of her favorite stories featured her brother Fort. For instance;
There was the time that Fort suggested they have a cussing contest. All the kids agreed and he suggested my mother go first. She looked around and then saw a fly. She whispered “Look at that D___ Fly.” Whereupon Fort went running to my grandmother shouting “Iris said a bad word, Iris said a bad word.”
My grandmother, being a fair-minded lady, didn’t immediately take the strap to my mother. First, she held an investigation. She called all the kids together and asked; “Is this true? Did Iris say a word?”
Nobody, except Fort, said anything. She asked again, and my mother started trying to explain. Grandmother stopped her and said; “Did you say D___?” My mother said “yes, but…” That’s all she got out. The rest of that tale involved the wood shed.
Another time, She thought she could get Fort’s Saturday evening money away from him. She challenged him to a dare. He agreed and they bet their allowance over it. She thought she had the perfect dare and told him; “I dare you to eat a worm.” He took the dare. Walked over to the kitchen porch and selected an apple off the table. He cut the apple open, picked a worm off a nearby leaf, put it in the apple and then, ate the apple. She had to hand over her money.
Like I said at the beginning, the kids were expected to share the farm work. However, Fort had devised a plan that resulted in his share, of work, being less than the others.
On the farm, they ate breakfast before daylight, and then were in the fields at sunrise. You worked in the fields until noon, when dinner was served, then returned to the fields until sundown.
Not a lot of fun for kids. Then Fort had the brainstorm. There was a well between the house and the barn. Located behind a large hedge on the west side of the house, at the edge of the fields. One day at lunch, Fort lagged behind the others as they filed out of the field. He paused at the well and pored a bucket of water over his head. Then he “drug” around the hedge and up to the back door where his mother was waiting for the kids to come in to eat.
She took one look at Fort, obviously exhausted and drenched in sweat and told him to take the rest of the day off.
My mother and the other kids were incised. But how could they expose him? The unwritten rule that none of them would ever break was; Never Rat on Family.
So, they didn’t tell. However, they did jump him when they had a chance. It was a fair fight. But my mother always claimed that she made up for the extra work as well as the swearing contest.
~~~~~
I spent a great deal of my childhood in Doctor’s offices and/or hospitals. You could almost say that I experienced a childhood of “Growing up sick”. In fact, I was in high school before I realized that not everyone spent time in the hospital every year.
I was fifteen and in the hospital again, when one of my buddies came to visit. He seemed real nervous and when I asked him what the problem was, he admitted that he’d never been in a hospital before. After he left, I asked my mother what was wrong with him. I actually thought he must be abnormal.
When I was seven years old, I spent several months in Little Rock at St. Vincent's Hospital. (In fact, I spent most of the first grade there.) They thought I had leukemia (this was before they discovered that I had McClellan’s Disease.)
To this day, I’ve got a warm spot in my heart for the nuns there. But no matter how well your treated (and we were cared for by the finest humans on the earth) there's just so much a kid can stand. One morning, they came in to take more blood, check my vitals, etc. When they put the thermometer in my mouth, I ate it.
Now, this isn't considered proper food for a growing boy and the nurse jerked me out of the bed and started cleaning out my mouth all the while yelling for help. After they got all the glass out of my mouth and (hopefully) all the mercury, Sister Maria came in and asked me why I’d done that. I told her I was tired of the whole “hospital” thing and wanted to go home.
I didn’t get to go home for another month or two, but the next day, they let me sneak out to the Zoo, located just south east of the hospital.
Another time, all the kids on the eighth floor were visited by their Fairy Godmother. When we got back to our rooms, we all had presents. Len had a fire truck. Russell had Lincoln Logs. Jamey had a doll and I got a new shirt. … A SHIRT! I’m in the hospital. Where’ am I going to wear a shirt?
To this day, don’t you let me catch you giving any of my kids or grand kids cloths for Christmas or their Birthday. Clothes are not a toy and kids ought to get toys for presents.
~~~~~
[http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
We’re currently reading; The fire : a novel / Katherine Neville.
We intend to read; T is for trespass / Sue Grafton. - - The Charlemagne pursuit : a novel / Steve Berry. - - The devil's eye / Jack McDevitt.
We recommend: The Faith: Chuck Colson
~~~~~
Over the last two weeks we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Miss Potter (2006) [9.3] Starring Renée Zellweger ... Ewan McGregor ... Emily Watson
3 Godfathers (1948) [8.4] Starring John Wayne ... Pedro Armendáriz ... Harry Carey Jr. ... Ward Bond ... Mildred Natwick ... Ben Johnson
Death Race (2008) [6.7] Starring Jason Statham ...
Intolerable Cruelty (2003) [6.4] Starring George Clooney ... Catherine Zeta-Jones ... Cedric the Entertainer ... Billy Bob Thornton
Pink Panther: Inspector: Great DeGaulle... (1969) [7.4] Starring Dave Barry Mel Blanc Rich Little ... Larry Storch Paul Winchell ... John Byner ... Arte Johnson ... Henry Mancini
Iron Giant (1999) [9.0] Starring Jennifer Aniston ... Harry Connick Jr. ... Vin Diesel ... Cloris Leachman ... John Mahoney
Sense and Sensibility (1995) [9.1] Starring Kate Winslet ... Emma Thompson ... Hugh Grant ... Robert Hardy ... Alan Rickman ... Greg Wise
Pride & Prejudice (2005) [8.5] Starring Keira Knightley ... Talulah Riley ... Rosamund Pike ... Donald Sutherland ... Matthew Macfadyen
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all! As you know by now, I'm spending the holiday in Kenya, but I still managed to send along holiday greetings.
Today's Story: Daryn Sends Christmas Greetings
Here is my Christmas wish for you and your family.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/blogarchive/blog_081224_kenya.html]
~~~~~
From one of FMC Shreveport’s Contemporary Worship Faithlink Singers
I AM

1. A child of God (Romans 8:16)
2. Redeemed from the Hand of the Enemy (Psalms 107:2)
3. Forgiven (Colossians 1:13-14)
4. Saved by Grace through Faith (Ephesians 2:8)
5. Justified (Romans 5:1)
6. Sanctified (I Corinthians 6:11)
7. A New Creature (II Corinthians 5:17)
8. Partaker of His Divine Nature (II Peter 1:4)
9. Redeemed from the Curse of the law (Galatians 3:13)
10. Delivered from the Powers of Darkness (Colossians 1:13)
11. Led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14)
12. A Son of God (Romans 8:14)
13. Kept in Safety Wherever I Go (Psalms 91:11)
14. Getting All My Needs Met by Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19)
15. Casting All My cares upon Jesus (I Peter 5:7)
16. Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might (Ephesians 6:10)
17. Doing All Thing through Christ Who Strengthens Me (Philippians 4:13)
18. An Heir with God and a Joint Heir with Jesus (Romans 8:17)
19. Heir to the Blessings of Abraham (Galatians 3:13-14)
20. Observing and Doing the Lord's Commandments (Deuteronomy 28:12)
21. Blessed Coming in and Blessed Going out (Deuteronomy 26:6)
22. An Heir of Eternal Life (I John 5:11-12)
23. Blessed with All Spiritual Blessings (Ephesians 1:3)
24. Healed by His Stripes ( I Peter 2:24)
25. Exercising My Authority over the Enemy (Luke 10:19)
26. Above Only and Not Beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13)
27. More than a Conqueror (Romans 8:37)
28. Establishing God's Word Here on Earth (Matthew 16:19)
29. An Overcomer by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of My Testimony (Revelation 12:11)
30. Daily Overcoming the Devil (I John 4:4)
31. Not Moved by What I See (II Corinthians 4:18)
32. Walking by Faith and Not by Sight (II Corinthians 5:7)
33. Casting Down Vain Imaginations (II Corinthians 10:4-5)
34. Bringing Every Thought into Captivity (II Corinthians 10:5)
35. Being Transformed by Renewing My Mind (Romans 12:1-2)
36. A Laborer Together with God (I Corinthians 3:9)
37. The Righteousness of God in Christ (II Corinthians 5:21)
38. An Imitator of Jesus (Ephesians 5:1)
39. The Light of the World (Matthew 5:14)
40. Blessing the Lord at All Times and Continually praising the Lord with My Mouth (Psalms 34:1)

Thanks to "Claiborne Sharp Jr."
~~~~~
Dooley calls for risk-based standards, real-world regulations
With the chemical industry accounting for about 4% of the U.S. work force and 10% of its exports, public policy must recognize the industry as an asset and not a threat, ACC President and CEO Cal Dooley writes. Among the industry's goals for 2009 are permanent, risk-based security standards for facilities and chemical regulations founded on science and "real-world" health information. ICIS news [http://www.icis.com/Articles/2008/12/24/9181017/inside-view-09-a-whole-new-ball-game.html]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Monica Brown - - Hometown: Lake Jackson, TX - - Awarded: Silver Star - - Then-Spc Monica Brown, recognized for her gallant actions during combat in Afghanistan in 2007, is the second female soldier since World War II to receive a Silver Star, the third highest award given for valor in enemy action. She received the medal from Vice President Richard B. Cheney during a ceremony March 20.

It was dusk on April 25, 2007, when Brown, a medic from the 82nd Airborne Division’s 782nd Brigade Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, was on a routine security patrol along the rolling, rocky plains of the isolated Jani Khail district in Afghanistan’s Paktika province when insurgents attacked her convoy.

“We’d been out on the mission for a couple of days,” said Brown, who at the time was attached to the brigade’s 4th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment’s Troop C. “We had just turned into a wadi (empty river bed) when our gunner yelled at us that the vehicle behind us had hit an (improvised explosive device).” The soldiers looked out of their windows in time to see one of the struck vehicle’s tires flying through the field next to them. Brown had just opened her door to see what was going on when the attack began.

“I only saw the smoke from the vehicle when suddenly we started taking small-arms fire from all around us,” she said. “Our gunner starting firing back, and my platoon sergeant yelled, ‘Doc! Let’s go.’
Brown and her platoon sergeant, Staff Sgt. Jose Santos, exited their vehicle, and while under fire, ran the few hundred meters to the site of the downed Humvee. “Everyone was already out of the burning vehicle,” she said. “But even before I got there, I could tell that two of them were injured very seriously.”

In fact, all five of the passengers who had stumbled out were burned and cut. Two soldiers suffered life-threatening injuries. With help from two less-injured vehicle crewmen, Sgt. Zachary Tellier and Spc. Jack Bodani, Brown moved the immobile soldiers to a relatively safe distance from the burning Humvee.

“There was pretty heavy incoming fire at this point,” she said. “Rounds were literally missing her by inches,” said Bodani, who provided suppressive fire as Brown aided the casualties. “We needed to get away from there.”

Attempting to provide proper medical care under the heavy fire became impossible, especially when the attackers stepped up efforts to kill the soldiers.

“Another vehicle had just maneuvered to our position to shield us from the rounds now exploding in the fire from the Humvee behind us,” Brown said. “Somewhere in the mix, we started taking mortar rounds. It became a huge commotion, but all I could let myself think about were my patients.”

With the other vehicles spread out in a crescent formation, Brown and her casualties were stuck with nowhere to go. Suddenly, Santos arrived with one of the unit’s vehicles and backed it up to their position, and Brown began loading the wounded soldiers inside.

“We took off to a more secure location several hundred meters away, where we were able to call in the (medical evacuation mission),” Brown said. She then directed other combat-life-saver-qualified soldiers to help by holding intravenous bags and assisting her in preparing the casualties for evacuation.

After what seemed like an eternity, Brown said, the attackers finally began retreating, and she was able to perform more thorough aid procedures before the helicopter finally arrived to transport the casualties to safety.

Two hours after the initial attack, everything was over. In the darkness, Brown recalled standing in a field, knee-deep in grass, her only source of light coming from her red head-light, trying to piece together the events that had just taken place.

“Looking back, it was just a blur of noise and movement,” the Lake Jackson, Texas, native said. “What just happened? Did I do everything right? It was a hard thing to think about.”

Before joining the Army at the age of 17, the bright-eyed young woman said she never pictured herself being in a situation like this. Originally wanting to be an X-ray technician, she changed her mind when she realized that by becoming a medic, she’d be in the best place to help people.

“At first, I didn’t think I could do it,” she said. “I was actually afraid of blood. When I saw my first airway-opening operation, I threw up.” She quickly adjusted to her job and received additional training both before and during her deployment to Afghanistan.

“I realized that everything I had done during the attack was just rote memory,” she said. “Kudos to my chain of command for that. I know with training, like I was given, any medic would have done the same in my position.”

“To say she handled herself well would be an understatement,” said Bodani, who quickly recovered from his injuries and immediately returned to work. “It was amazing to see her keep completely calm and take care of our guys with all that going on around her. Of all the medics we’ve had with us throughout the year, she was the one I trusted the most.”

Earning trust with a combat unit is not something easily earned, said Army Capt. Todd Book, Troop C’s commander at the time of the attack, but it was something Brown had taken upon herself to prove long before the Jani Khail ambush.

“Our regular medic was on leave at the time,” Book said. “We had other medics to choose from, but Brown had shown us that she was more technically proficient than any of her peers.”

Having people call her “Doc” means a lot to Brown because of the trust it engenders. “When people I’ve treated come back to me later and tell me the difference I was able to make in their life is the best part of this job,” she said.

During her rest and recuperation leave in May, Brown visited Spc. Larry Spray, one of the severely injured soldiers from the burning Humvee, in the hospital and met his mother.

“I almost cried,” Brown said. “Spray’s mother was so thankful, and she hugged me. That was the moment that made me feel the best about what I did.”

Even though she felt proud when she was informed that she was going to receive a Silver Star, she considers her actions to be the result of effort put into her by everyone she’s worked for.

“While I’m not scared to get my hands dirty, I have to say that I never fully became a medic until I came over here and did it first-hand,” she said. “I just reacted when the time came.”

Due to her quick and selfless actions, both Smith and Spray survived their injuries.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Joseph L. Galloway: Remember the empty chairs at holiday tables
MCT COLUMN 275
(12/23/2004)

By Joseph L. Galloway
McClatchy Newspapers

Even in hard times, this is the holiday season and a time when thoughts turn to home and family and dinner tables covered with food and gaily wrapped presents and bright lights.

Save a moment amid the celebrations to give thought to the hundreds of thousands of men and women in uniform in far-flung parts of this world who won't be sitting down to dinner with their families.

More than 170,000 men and women of our military will spend their Christmas and New Year's in Iraq and Afghanistan, where killing and dying never take a day off.

Oh, Uncle Sam will do his best to see that most of them sit down to a special dinner of hot turkey and dressing and all the trimmings, and even in the most remote outpost some soldier or Marine will jury-rig a tree of sorts with decorations of sorts.

But it's a hollow celebration for a lonely soldier so far from home and loved ones, and lonely, too, at that dinner table back home where a chair stands empty at the head of the table.

The holidays always bring the troops to mind for me. My earliest memories are of holidays during World War II when rationing of meat and sugar and all manner of things that we take for granted today made the feasting and gift-giving a lot more difficult.

My dad and six of his brothers were all gone to war, along with four of my mom's brothers. I grew up in houses full of frightened women who were doing their best to make do on shortened rations and small allotment checks. My mother got $17 a month from dad's $21 a month pay.

Times were hard, but every American, indeed everyone in the world, had a stake in a war that was ravaging much of Europe and Asia and would kill 60 million people before it was over.

I have my own memories of holidays spent with soldiers and Marines in combat zones from Vietnam to the Persian Gulf to Iraq.

The first was Christmas in An Khe with the 1st Cavalry Division in 1965. The newly arrived division and my friends in the 7th U.S. Cavalry had been blooded in the previous month's terrible battles in the Ia Drang Valley.

The memories of young men wounded and dying all around were fresh in our minds. The gaps in our ranks had been filled with green troops yanked out of replacement depots, and the new arrivals looked at the old, sad eyes of men no older than they were with awe, and we all wondered what fresh Hell we'd found ourselves inhabiting.

And along came the Bob Hope traveling troupe to take our minds off the war for a couple of hours. Everyone howled at Bob's corny jokes and Jerry Colona's slapstick antics. Everyone's eyes bulged at the sight of a scantily clad Joey Heatherton dancing wildly around the stage.

When it was over, most of us just sat there on the ground wishing it wasn't; wishing we weren't there; wishing that we were home in a crowded living room smelling the treats soon to emerge from a hot, busy kitchen.

Then everyone got up, brushed the red dirt off their jungle fatigues and drifted back to their green Army tents and cots.

Back to reality.

Another memory is of Thanksgiving in the Saudi Arabian desert in November of 1990. I'd signed up to go eat turkey and trimmings with some unit, somewhere out among the sand dunes, when I was called to board a bus with two dozen other reporters and photographers.

The bus would stop at an empty crossroads, and the guy with the clipboard would call off a name or two and drop them before moving on.

My turn came, and I stepped off literally in the middle of nowhere. A tall captain of artillery stepped up and saluted: "Mr. Galloway, we are C Battery, 1st Battalion, 21st Field Artillery. We call ourselves The Falcons and you will understand why far better than anyone. We provided fire support for the 7th Cavalry at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang."

I stood there unable to say a word, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I knew that somewhere in that cold, forbidding institution that is an Army, there was both a memory and a heart, and that heart was as tender as my own.

I've never had so fine a Thanksgiving dinner as that one in an Army mess tent in a cold, windswept desert; never enjoyed the company and camaraderie so much as I did then and there.

Please support this mission by making a direct contribution [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php?option=com_dtdonate&Itemid=117]. Without your support, the mission will end. Thank you for helping me tell the full story of the struggle for Iraq and Afghanistan.

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include various pics of our family on Christmas eve.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat3q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Annette's famous "Slayer Pie" (Chocolate Mousse Pie) recipe
Ingredients
Crust:
3 cups Oreo cookies (23 cookies)
½ cup melted unsalted butter

Filling:
1 pound semi-sweet chocolate
2 eggs
4 egg yolks
2 cups heavy cream
6 Tablespoons confectioner's sugar
4 egg whites

For Crust: Combine the cookie crumbs and the butter and press on the bottom and sides of a spring form pan. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
For Filling: Melt the chocolate in a double boiler. Add the whole eggs and mix thoroughly, then add the egg yolks to the mixture and continue to blend. Whip the heavy cream and add confectioner's sugar. In another bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff but not dry. Stir the chocolate mixture, the whipped cream, and the egg whites together and pour on top of the crust in the spring form pan. Refrigerate for six hours or more.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Human Dignity
By Chuck Colson
12/26/2008
What Matters Most, Part 1

Two weeks ago, headlines across the world announced the release of the Vatican’s official position on bioethics. Naturally, the Catholic Church’s stance on the destruction of human embryos, the creation of designer babies, and the like was greeted with scorn by liberal Catholics and by many medical professionals and scientists.

But two things truly fascinate me about the release of this document. The first is its title: “Dignitas Personae”—or, in plain English: “On the Dignity of the Person.”

Now that’s an interesting title for the Catholic Church’s official teaching on bioethics. Actually, it’s the perfect title because the question of human dignity is at the root of virtually every major question facing humans today. Not just bioethics, but also medicine, the economy, and the environment.

And the question of human dignity hangs on the answer to this question: Where do humans come from? If human beings are the products of random chance, then human dignity is merely the product of our fevered imaginations. If we truly are the end result of a coincidental convergence of atomic particles, then the phrase “human dignity” is meaningless. We would have no more right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness than would a mossy fern.

Scientists would be free to tinker with our genetic makeup, to dispose of human embryos, to clone us and mix our DNA with animals. Governments would be free to exercise unrestrained power over their ultimately valueless subjects. Without any basis for human dignity, life is one gigantic free-for-all—get what you can, while you can.

But, if the answer to the question, “Where do we come from?” is “We were created by God,” then the implications are truly staggering.

If in fact we were created in God’s image; if in fact, as we celebrated yesterday at Christmas, God in Christ became human, took on human flesh, sharing our very DNA, then every human life, from natural conception through natural death, is endowed with eternal and incomprehensible worth.

Instead of playing with human DNA and re-creating humans in the image of our desires and imaginations, we would be responsible to protect the human genetic makeup. Governments would be responsible to preserve order and protect the rights of individuals whose dignity depends not on their value to the state, but on their value to the Supreme Being.

The second thing that fascinates me about the Vatican paper is this: The world is watching what Christians say about human dignity. As the director of a medical research institute told the Washington Post, “Even in the secular world we take a very careful look at the religious writings” in the field of bioethics.

Why? I think the reason may be very simple. Each and every one of us, deep in our hearts, wants to know that we have value. That even as we behold the heavens, the stars and the moon, we matter to Him who set them in their place.

So in these troubled times, I believe that the Church’s greatest calling is to uphold human life and dignity. Because as we do, we ultimately point all those who are made in God’s image back to Him who created them and loves them beyond all comprehension.
And if not, none of us are safe.

Please give a generous donation today to help Prison Fellowship and BreakPoint continue strong in the new year. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527. Thank you!

For Further Reading and Information

“Vatican Ethics Guide Stirs Controversy,” Washington Post, 13 December 2008.

John Allen, “The Pope’s Real Message for Obama,” New York Times, 18 December 2008.

“The Sanctity of Life: 'The Faith, Given Once for All',” BreakPoint Commentary, 28 August 2008.

“Experimenting with Human Dignity: One Hybrid We Don't Need,” BreakPoint Commentary, 19 September 2007.

Charles Colson and Nigel Cameron, eds., Human Dignity in the Biotech Century (InterVarsity, 2004).

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
iambic: having two syllables
jaded: exhausted
kibbutz: collective farm
laggard: wasting time
macrobiotic: promoting longevity
narcissism: self-love
oblique: diagonally arranged
paltry: contemptibly small
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is." - Desiderius Erasmus

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right." - Thomas Paine

"We do not acquire humility. There is humility in us - only we humiliate ourselves before false gods." - Simone Weil

"For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear." - Marilyn C. Barrick

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads." - Clement Clarke Moore

"At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year." - Thomas Tusser

"This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess." - Rainer Maria Rilke
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Radical Evangelism: Man Returns to Inner-City to Save Souls After "Swearing" He'd Never Go Back
Aimee Herd (December 26, 2008)
"This is not some, 'Hey, why don't you come to church on Sunday, and we'd love to have you leave the same way you came in. This is life and death."
(Washington, D.C.)—The Washington Post has published a lengthy report on the evangelistic ministry—in the city's northeast section of Trinidad—of resident Carlos Williams, who at one time left Trinidad because of the high crime rate, determined that he would never return. Well, he did return the crime-ridden community two years ago, along with his wife and seven homeschooled children. His mission; to save souls. (Photo: Washington Post)

According to the report, Williams, who wants to "test the identity around which he has constructed his adult life" won't get on the train to return home until he "prays with a desperate-looking stranger."

In Trinidad, Willaim says there is "a spirit of oppression, a heaviness over that neighborhood. There is an adversary that opposes any spirit of God. To me, it's crystal clear that it's not people we're up against—it's a spiritual deal."

Follow the link provided to read more about how this courageous man and his family were called to minister in Washington's inner city.
Source: Michelle Boorstein - Washington Post [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/20/AR2008122000502.html]

Breaking Christian News | 310 2nd Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97321 | Phone: (541)928-2642 | Email: editor@breakingchristiannews.com

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GCF: Reindeer For Sale

From the GCF Archives -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------

Nine white reindeer. Male. Range in age from 5-13 years. TB and brucellosis tested; current on all vaccinations, vet-checked and come with health certificates and guarantee of flight. Lead deer has dermatological condition which is chronic, but doesn't seem to affect pulling ability or visual accuracy. One owner. $2,000.00 apiece/ first $17,000 takes all. Tired of the cold weather and moving to Phoenix.

Please contact: Mr. S. Claus, snc@workshop.arc.npole
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Holiday Eating Tips

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later then you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years, You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa. Position yourself near them, and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Politically Correct Holiday Greetings

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------

To all my Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all;

PLUS

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or choice of computer platform.

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

To all my Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Gift Suggestions

From the GCF Archives -Tom
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I you have an "Automotive Minded" Person in your life, these gift suggestions should be considered.

1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change your air every 3000 miles or twice a year. $25

2. Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find. 4oz bottle. $12

3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24

4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium Filaments, made in the USA! $1 ea.

5. Manifold Heat. Yes, your exhaust manifold should be HOT. If it's not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50

6. Steering Wheel Gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific application. From $9.99

7. Tie Rod Tensioner. Is your tie rod limp? Tension it with T-50! $14.99

8. Alternator Batteries. (4 required, replace them all!) From $2.99

9. Fan Belt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special order. $14.99

10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95

11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99

12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59

13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24

14. Muffler Bearings From $19.95

15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits From $9.99

16. Momentum (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by the lb-ft/sec $0.50

17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your car or truck begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm, ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199

18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw that the auto companies have kept secret for years as the recall would cost BILLIONS! This film can be cut and placed over any mirror to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear view mirror! $5 per square ft.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Santa's Reindeer

From the GCF Archives -Tom
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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (which are the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so). Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had to be a female.

We should have known this when they were able to find their way.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No endangered insects \ /
\ _/ well, almost no rare insects \_ /
/ /were destroyed in composing this email.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If evolution really works, \ /
\ _/ how come mothers \_ /
/ / only have two hands? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do they call it \ /
\ _/ a TV set \_ /
/ / when you only get one? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I love cooking with wine. \ /
\ _/ Sometimes I even put \_ /
/ / it in the food. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Never test the depth \ /
\ _/ of the water with both feet. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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A Dieter's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all around my hips Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash, Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash. The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear: A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick, I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear: On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS A Weight Watchers dropout from sugar detox.

>From the top of the scales to the top of the hall Now dash away pounds, now dash away all. Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress, My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly. I spoke not a word but went straight to my work, Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn, I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned. I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry: If temptation's removed, I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned in for the night In the morning I'll starve... 'till I take that first bite!

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Bumper Sticker

/* Merry Christmas from GCFL! */

Don't like my driving?
Call 1-800-NO GIFTS

- Bumper sticker on Santa's sleigh

Received from Daniel Galvin.

(-:][:-)

Christmas Holiday

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.

They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night -- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Received from Donald Pohlner.

(-:][:-)

Christmas Angel

It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn't. Santa was really angry. It was Christmas Eve, and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.

Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world just a few hours from now, and all my reindeer are drunk, my elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind him. "Yo, Santa," he said, "where do you want me to stick the Christmas tree this year?"

And thus the tradition of angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass...

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Martha Stewart Christmas Wish

Dear Santa,

I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers, or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.

I want to slap Martha Stewart.

Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it.

Don't grant this wish just for me -- do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all.

Those of us leading average, garden-variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style, for dinner.

We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold, unless it's of the furniture polish variety.

We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.

OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush, you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.

We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's ordered it only once), she also refuses to eat it cold. When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."

The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What's next? The coffee maker?

In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher, that qualifies as "put away" in my house!

Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves, mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.

She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the twenty-first century," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."

Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation.

Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright, and Maya Angelou, no doubt).

The proof of Martha's influence: After she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha said, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge. (Or maybe, on second thought....)

A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs and to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.

If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?

When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back.

"Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha. And of her Web page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives.

There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year. You probably want to smack her yourself.

Received from Just For Fun.

(-:][:-)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2006/11/06/office-party-follies/ - - Office Party Follies
There are few “fun” activities quite so vexing as the Office Christmas Party; that obligatory gathering of bosses and subordinates, cronies and rivals, back-stabbers and back-stabbees. Plus a horde of husbands and wives who spend the entire night planning their escape.

Every year you fantasize about sending an RSVP marked "Thanks, but no thanks." Then you return to reality and break the news to your spouse. "It'll be different this time," you lie. "It'll be fun."

"I'll go to yours, if you'll go to mine," your mate responds. "And you have to promise to behave."

This brings us to the art of gaffe avoidance. After all, who isn't but one faux pas from the unemployment line? Dodging the pitfalls of office party protocol can be a daunting challenge. But with the help of this agreement, you'll survive yet another function with your job intact.

AGREEMENT entered into on ____________, by Husband and Wife (collectively referred to as "Couple").

WHEREAS, Couple's employers suffer from the delusion that Office Christmas Parties are good for morale;

WHEREAS, Couple, being sane individuals, would prefer to stay home; and

WHEREAS, although Couple can't prove a connection, everyone who skipped last year's bash is now unemployed.

NOW, THEREFORE, Couple hereby agrees to the following office party guidelines:

GENERAL GUIDELINES

1. Husband and Wife shall dress appropriately and shall be on their best behavior at all times. However, if Husband ever again advises casual attire for a black tie affair, Wife's promise shall be null and void.

2. Wife won't criticize the food, if Husband refrains from eating three desserts.

3. Neither spouse shall over-imbibe unless the other forgot to mention that spouses weren't invited.

4. The following behavior shall be avoided:

a. Acting too distant.

b. Acting too friendly.

c. Refusing to dance with the boss.

d. Asking the boss to dance.

e. Failing to laugh at the boss's jokes.

HUSBAND'S BEHAVIOR AT WIFE'S PARTY

1. Husband shall not say anything sexist, such as the following:

a. "So you're the little woman's new manager. Tell me. How do you put up with her?"

b. "Aren't you the fellow they passed over to promote my wife? Affirmative action strikes again, heh?"

c. "I have to hand it to you -- I couldn't report to a woman."

d. "So you're the guy my Wife's been working late with on that new project. That is what you've been doing, isn't it?" (Wink, wink)

e. "I can't believe you put my wife in charge of the budget. She can't even balance our check book. (Ha ha.)"

Additionally, Husband shall not turn to Wife and say "How come you can't cook me a meal like this?"

2. Husband shall be diplomatic and refrain from saying any of the following:

a. "For a tightwad, you sure throw one hell of a bash. Just between us guys, how much did it set you back?"

b. "You promoted her just in time. She was working on her resume."

c. "So you're the fellow my Wife keeps complaining about. You seem nice enough to me."

d. "I hate these things. Don't you?" (Last year Husband said this to the President's wife.)

3. Husband shall not use Wife's party to promote his business by shoving cards or flyers under napkins. Nor shall he whip out a calculator and offer to save the Chairman "big bucks" on printing.

4. Husband shall not feign expertise -- especially about Wife's boss's business. Nor shall he say: "I sure was glad to hear you liked my Wife's new marketing plan. It was my idea, you know."

WIFE'S BEHAVIOR AT HUSBAND'S PARTY

1. Wife shall not view the party as a feminist forum. Accordingly, she shall not ask Husband's boss why the only women present are wives and data entry clerks.

2. Wife shall not ask Husband's manager to hire Couple's son. Nor shall she say: "When are you going to give my hubby a raise? The poor guy makes less than I do."

3. Wife shall not complain about being stuck talking to the women. Nor shall she brag about being too busy to clean or cook ... even though it's true.

4. Wife shall not appoint herself official no-smoking enforcer ... except for cigars.

5. Wife shall not become irate just because a few couples brought their kids. However, pique is permissible under the following circumstances:

a. Wife becomes the target of a mashed-potato match.

b. Wife is seated next to a high chair.

c. Vomit.

6. Wife shall not spend the entire evening flirting with Husband's boss. Unless, of course, it gets Husband a bonus.

FINAL BRACING THOUGHT

As Husband and Wife peek at their watches, waiting for the festivities to end, they shall keep one thought in mind: A command appearance at your office Christmas party means you're still gainfully employed.

WHEREFORE, we affix our signatures:

(Husband)___________________ (Wife)___________________

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
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Jesus is Better than Santa

Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.

Santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

Santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help.

Santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs.

Santa comes down your chimney uninvited
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. And then enters your heart.

You have to stand in line to see Santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

Santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.

Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love.

All Santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers health, help and hope.

Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.

Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.

Santa may make you chuckle but
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.

While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.

It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Thanks to Sarah Shepherd
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Daily Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries

DECEMBER 23

BIBLE MEDITATION:
"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not." 1 John 3:1

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:
You are rich! Jesus became son of man, that we might become sons of God. We are saved because of the grace of Christmas. That is not rhetoric -- that is reality! A little boy was talking about eternal security and said, "I am held in His hand." A cynic responded, "What if you slip through His hands?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you," the boy replied, "I'm one of His fingers." You are rich, my friend.

ACTION POINT:
Amidst all the materialism that sometimes chokes out the true meaning of Christmas, take some time to share this Good News with someone today.

Share devotional with a friend
http://www.lwf.org/site/R?i=8zwJ83M9ixeiPEMgfv392g..

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Purchase
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Become a partner of LWF
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This Month's Offer
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Do you know Jesus?
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------------------------------------------------------
Devotions taken from the messages of Adrian Rogers.

Copyright 2006, Love Worth Finding Ministries ®. All Rights Reserved
P.O.Box 38400, Memphis, TN 38183-0400

Thanks to David Lamb
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Some of Mac's favorite quotes:

When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.
-Jacob A. Riis

Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick.
Laurence Shames

Chance favors those in motion.
James H. Austin

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push.
Joann Thomas

When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace.
J. Lubbock

The strongest warriors are these two...time and patience.
Leo Tolstoy

Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.
Jim Rohn

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.
Unknown

The nose of the bulldog is slanted backwards so he can continue to breathe without letting go.
Winston Churchill

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting golden delicious.
Bill Meyer

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We learn to walk by stumbling.
Bulgarian Proverb

It’s our attitude in life that determines life’s attitude toward us.
Earl Nightingale

You can have anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want.
Zig Ziglar

Habits are first cobwebs, then cables.
Spanish Proverb

Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
John Wooden

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.
Theodore Isaac Rubin

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
Robert Louis Stevenson

I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse.
Florence Nightingale

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.
Frederick B. Wilcox

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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 9 22 Dec 2008

TV on Your PC / Registry Cleaners / Zune Update / Memory Boost In today's TOURBUS, you'll learn how to watch TV on your PC, and how NOT to do it. And what about registry cleaners... do they really work? Also, get the scoop on the newest Zune music player, and find out how to maximize your computer's physical and virtual memory. Read on!

WATCH TV ON YOUR PC Did you know, there's a simple gadget that will effectively turn your computer into a television set and personal video recorder? Or that you can watch many of your favorite shows online? Whether you'd like to play your favorite episodes from a specific series or watch live shows from your favorite television channel, my simple guide to watching TV on your PC will tell you everything you need to know... [http://askbobrankin.com/watch_television_on_your_computer.html]

FREE REGISTRY CLEANERS Most geeks agree that occasional use of a registry cleaner will help your system run better. Learn about the Windows system registry, and check out my list of seven free registry cleaners. Oh, and make sure you learn a few important facts you should know about registry cleaners before attempting this at home... [http://askbobrankin.com/free_registry_cleaners.html]

WHAT'S NEW WITH ZUNE? Have you seen the new Zune 120 music player from Microsoft? Apple's iPod seems to be the de facto standard, but the latest Zune has a larger 3.2-inch screen, wifi connectivity and some other cool features that might tempt you. Check out the new Zune and learn about the Zune Pass all-you-can-eat music plan... [http://askbobrankin.com/whats_new_with_zune.html]

PUMP UP YOUR VIRTUAL MEMORY
Do you know the difference between physical memory and virtual memory? This article explains it all in plain English. You'll also get tips on how to maximize your virtual memory, and thereby boost the efficiency and performance of your Windows, Mac or Linux system... [http://askbobrankin.com/virtual_memory.html]

ADDING MEMORY TO YOUR COMPUTER Adding physical memory (RAM) to your computer is one of the most effective things you can do to pump new life into an older system. A decade ago, 64MB of RAM was considered plenty for everyday use. Today, that's laughably inadequate -- you need to think gigabytes now. Read this article to find out what RAM memory does, and how it's different than hard drive storage. You'll also learn how to find out how much RAM is in your computer, how and where to order the right kind of RAM, and then install it yourself!
[http://askbobrankin.com/adding_memory.html]

SEND HOLIDAY FLOWERS... FAST! In case you didn't know, in addition to publishing the TOURBUS newsletter, I also operate Flowers Fast! - an online flower and gift delivery service. Stop in and check out our beautiful holiday arrangements and gourmet gifts. I've tried hard to make the site fast and easy to navigate, and the prices will definitely save you money. Don't forget to use the "TOURBUS" coupon code to get your $5 discount, and please tell a friend about Flowers Fast! too.
Use Promo Code TOURBUS to Save $5 on your order!
[http://flowersfast.com/?TB]
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POPULAR ARTICLES

• Send a Free Fax [http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html]
Learn how to send and receive faxes for free, using online fax services.

• Make Windows Run Faster [http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html]
Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.

• Free Calls With Skype [http://askbobrankin.com/free_calls_with_skype.html]
Skype is a software package that lets you make free calls to almost anyone, anywhere in the world. Here's how to get started...

• Free Internet Security Software [http://askbobrankin.com/should_i_buy_antispyware_or_antivirus_software.html]
Staying safe on the Internet doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my recommendations for the best FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and popup blocker software.
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Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year to everybody on the Bus. I really appreciate all the kind words from readers, and look forward to keeping the TOURBUS rolling into 2009! That's all for now, see you next time.
-- Bob Rankin
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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2008, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.386605-] Percent of Users The Best of Everything - http://www.InternetTourbus.com/best.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Home - http://www.InternetTourbus.com
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.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

Friday Blog Roundup| by Liz Borkowski | No comments

Bloggers are anticipating some new activities from the Obama administratiońs Health and Human Services team, while still keeping a close eye on what the Bush administration HHS is up to:

Jeff Goldsmith at the Health Affairs Blog [http://healthaffairs.org/blog/2008/12/15/daschle-what-can-we-expect-of-the-health-czar-in-waiting/] considers what we can expect from Tom Daschle, who Obama has picked as his “health czar.”

Maggie Mahar at Health Beat [http://www.healthbeatblog.org/2008/12/health-beat-readers-lets-get-involved-let-washington-know-what-we-think.html] urges readers to heed Daschlés call and host Health Care Community Discussions.

Merril Goozner at GoozNews [http://www.gooznews.com/archives/001274.html] explores the drug-industry issues that will face the person Obama picks to head FDA.

Emily Douglas at RH Reality Check [http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2008/12/18/hhs-publishes-provider-conscience-expansion-rule] reports on HHŚs publication of its rule broadening protections for health care providers who refuse to provide health care services based on religious or moral grounds.

Read the rest [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/19/friday-blog-roundup-104/#more-3398]

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

State OK'd oil-pump site in June check, Independent federal agency to conduct probe after fatal blast in Marion County - - Oct 21 COLUMBUS, OH - An oil-pumping operation in Marion County that was the scene of a fatal explosion Sunday had been inspected nine times since 2002, most recently in June, and received good marks, a spokesman for the Ohio Department of Natural Resources said yesterday. "The site has always been shipshape and well-managed," said agency spokesman Ken Leach. Mar Oil Co., based in Alberta, Calgary, in western Canada, operates seven wells there, said Leach, whose agency's Mineral Resources Management Division regulates 64,000 oil and gas wells across Ohio. Investigators from the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration and other government agencies were at the scene yesterday of the oil-tank explosion and fire that killed two workers in northwestern Marion County on Sunday. Welding directly contributed to the ignition of the explosion, said Shane Cartmill, a spokesman for the state fire marshal. Local authorities said the two workers were welding a catwalk on one of four large crude-oil storage tanks when a tank exploded. Both died instantly. The explosion killed New Bloomington residents Jesse Price, 45, and Kevin Fout, 53, while they worked on a tank at the small oil-well operation on private property just off Rubins Road, near LaRue.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Staff Sgt. Jonathan W. Dean, 25, of Henagar, Ala., died Dec. 20, in Bayji, Iraq, of injuries suffered in a non-combat related incident in Tikrit, Iraq. He was assigned to the 561st Military Police Company, 716th Military Police Battalion, 101st Sustainment Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

02. Pfc. Coleman W. Hinkefent, 19, of Coweta, Okla., died Dec. 20, 2008 in Homburg, Germany of a non-combat related illness. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

03. Lance Cpl. Thomas Reilly Jr., 19, of London, Ky., died Dec. 21 while supporting combat operations in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, 3rd Marine Division, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Dec. 24 in Baghdad, of injuries sustained during a vehicle roll-over. The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 16th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
04. Staff Sgt. Christopher G. Smith, 28, of Grand Rapids, Mich.
05. Spc. Stephen M. Okray, 21, of St. Clair Shores, Mich.
06. Spc. Stephen G. Zapasnik, 19, of Broken Arrow, Okla.

07. Maj. John P. Pryor, 42, of Moorestown, N.J. died Dec. 25 in Mosul of wounds suffered when a mortar round impacted near his living quarters. He was assigned to the 1st Medical Detachment, Forward Surgical Team, Fort Totten, N.Y.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
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Quota International of Magnolia will have a New Year’s Eve gala and silent and live auction from 8:30 p.m. until 12:30 a.m. at the Magnolia Country Club. Attire is semiformal. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served. Tickets are $25. This is a fundraiser for Magnolia Hospital. For ticket information, call 234-0095. Tickets may be purchased from any member.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mat 22:15-18 Luke 20:37-38 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2008 before it was sent.
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