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Volume 10, Issue 41 Friday, October 10, 2008
Hello All,
We’ve published lists of emergency supplies in the past but I’m doing it again and adding a list of financial emergency supplies. We all need to be prepared for “common” emergencies.
This list is from Ready America [http://www.ready.gov/america/getakit/kit-print.html]
When preparing for a possible emergency situation, it's best to think first about the basics of survival: fresh water, food, clean air and warmth.
Recommended Items to Include in a Basic Emergency Supply Kit:
Water, one gallon of water per person per day for at least three days, for drinking and sanitation
Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food
Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries for both
Flashlight and extra batteries
First aid kit
Whistle to signal for help
Dust mask, to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place
Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation
Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities
Can opener for food (if kit contains canned food)
Local maps
Additional Items to Consider Adding to an Emergency Supply Kit:
Prescription medications and glasses
Infant formula and diapers
Pet food and extra water for your pet
Important family documents such as copies of insurance policies, identification and bank account records in a waterproof, portable container
Cash or traveler's checks and change
Emergency reference material such as a first aid book or information from www.ready.gov
Sleeping bag or warm blanket for each person. Consider additional bedding if you live in a cold-weather climate.
Complete change of clothing including a long sleeved shirt, long pants and sturdy shoes. Consider additional clothing if you live in a cold-weather climate.
Household chlorine bleach and medicine dropper – When diluted nine parts water to one part bleach, bleach can be used as a disinfectant. Or in an emergency, you can use it to treat water by using 16 drops of regular household liquid bleach per gallon of water. Do not use scented, color safe or bleaches with added cleaners.
Fire Extinguisher
Matches in a waterproof container
Feminine supplies and personal hygiene items
Mess kits, paper cups, plates and plastic utensils, paper towels
Paper and pencil
Books, games, puzzles or other activities for children
And, for financial emergencies, I refer to Mike McNeill’s column from last Sunday’s paper. [http://epaper.wehco.com/daily/skins/magnolia/]
Surviving the hard times to come
"There Is No Free Lunch."
...• To get a good job, get a good education.
• The first financial goal of a young person or young couple should be to buy a home they can afford.
• The second financial goal should be a cash reserve fund. Cut out unnecessary expenses until you have at least three months’ salary in the bank. Six months is better.
• Live within your means.
• Pay off credit cards debts. Always pay more than a minimum payment.
• Finally, while it may not fall under universal wisdom, the recent experience of some friends prompts one last bit of advice. Spring for a good, long-term disability insurance policy that will pay you 70 percent or more of your income if you are sick and can’t work.
(Mike McNeill writes from Magnolia. E-mail him at news@ bannernews.net.)
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Speaking of emergencies, we attended a SKYWARN TRAINING, Volunteer "Storm Spotters" class at the Magnolia Hospital, on Monday. The class was well attended and will give us some more folks qualified to report to the National Weather Service.
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And, we conducted our annual County Wide Emergency Drill Thursday. It was the smoothest of any we’d ever staged as the constant improvements we’ve made to our emergency services over the years paid off.
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Magnolia Lions Club Fundraiser - October 30 - Grilled Hamburger Take-out Supper $6.00. Hamburger, Chips, Cookie & Soda. Pick up at Brookshire's Parking Lot - 4:30 to 6:00 p.m.
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Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
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DarynKagan.com - - Tiny Trails of Joy
One Kansas couple finds the road to happiness leads to a corral full of miniature horses [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/animals/stories/an_081010_minihorses.html]
It seems that my big reveal last week of who the real boss is around here hit a chord with many of you. One DarynKagan.com visitor found something on YouTube that very much reflects the reality of working for a demanding boss. I've posted it on my blog [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/DarynsBlog.html]. Okay, mainly because The Big Boss insisted that I do just that.
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The Lighthouse Church - - http://thelighthousechurch.publishpath.com/
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We extend our sincere sympathy to Tab Long in the loss of his father, Talbert C. "Bert" Long.
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Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Drew C. Kimmey - - Hometown: Warden, WA
Awarded: Silver Star
Sgt. 1st Class Drew C. Kimmey, Capt. Stephen P. Ward and Staff Sgt. Carlo A. Alcazar, members of Civil Affairs Team 745, were recently recognized for their performance during an Afghanistan mission last November. The three soldiers were recognized for their efforts in rescuing a Special Forces team leader, who was also the ground forces commander that day.
CA Team 745 was stationed at Firebase Cobra in Oruzgan, Afghanistan, with special operations detachments from the 3rd Special Forces Group, members of the Afghan National Army and the Afghan National Police. On Nov. 2, 2007, the teams and their Afghan counterparts left the firebase to visit the village of Sarsina to conduct medical capabilities mission as well as a humanitarian aid drop. Once they arrived at the village, they discovered it had been evacuated and that Taliban fighters were entrenched into several fighting positions in an attempt to ambush forces in the area.
Alcazar reported only three families came in for medical treatment. The families told the soldiers the Taliban made the other people leave the village, but that having nowhere to go. they stayed. “What was alarming,” Ward said later, “was the buildings had locks and barricaded doors, which was a clear indication that the village wasn’t abandoned, but had been turned into a defendable position.”
All three quickly figured it was only a matter of time before the firefight would begin.
The teams were quickly engaged by 300 Taliban fighters. According to Army documents, after an hour of fighting, two vehicles were pulled to the rear of the fight after being disabled. This left the ground forces commander to the front of the coalition lines and in jeopardy of being overrun. At this point, Ward, the team leader for 745, radioed to the ground forces commander, who was pinned down in a vulnerable building, that his was on its way. Ward later said he and Alcazar went because they were the closest truck and the others were busy providing cover. Unfortunately, the team’s vehicle crashed into an enemy fighting position and became immobile, knocking Ward and Alcazar momentarily unconscious.
After they regained consciousness, Alcazar took to reloading ammunition belts, enabling Kimmey, the gunner, to continue to engage enemy forces. Ward exited the vehicle and directed his team to dismount and move to cover. Kimmey remained in the turret, providing cover for the team and allowing them to reach the ground forces commander. He stayed even though he knew the enemy was setting up mortar positions to destroy the truck he was firing from.
Kimmey was able to keep the Taliban from overrunning the soldiers with the .50-caliber gun. In the process, he was drawing a majority of the enemy fire. Ward reported the enemy was about 50 to 100 meters away at this point.
Team 745 moved to the ground commander’s position and helped in the recovery of the commander and the casualties. All of this was done, while under “continual, accurate and effective” enemy fire.
Since the team’s 745’s vehicle was immobile, it was stripped of all sensitive equipment, and its gun was dismantled to prevent the enemy from gaining off of the team’s loss. Once team 745 sterilized their truck, they had no choice but to run beside the Special Forces vehicle, using it as cover, until they reached safety, because there was no room for them on the truck. All three of them ran alongside the truck until they reached a checkpoint and mounted up into another vehicle for the ride back to firebase Cobra.
During the civil affairs award ceremony honoring all three for their heroic acts, Maj. Gen. John F. Mulholland, said, “The words can’t do justice, nor can the medal on your chest convey what they went up against.”
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,
Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/] to see the photos of Life Before Death.
V/R,Your correspondent,
Michael
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Last week we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Hell on Heels: The Battle of Mary Kay (2002) [6] Starring Shirley MacLaine ... Shannen Doherty ... Parker Posey
The Man with One Red Shoe (1985) [6] Starring Tom Hanks ... Dabney Coleman ... Charles Durning ... Carrie Fisher ... James Belushi
The Call of the Wild (1935) [7] Starring Clark Gable ... Loretta Young ... Jack Oakie ... Reginald Owen
Eternally Yours (1939) [5.75] Starring Loretta Young ... David Niven ... Billie Burke
Sabrinia (1995) [8.5] Starring Harrison Ford ... Julia Ormond ... Greg Kinnear ... Nancy Marchand ... John Wood ... Richard Crenna ... Angie Dickinson
Adam's Rib (1949) [7.6] Starring Spencer Tracy ... Katharine Hepburn ... Judy Holliday ... Tom Ewell ... David Wayne
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Last week we read; Executive privilege / Phillip Margolin, Swan Peak : a Dave Robicheaux novel / by James Lee Burke. Sarah : how a hockey mom turned the political establishment upside / Kaylene Johnson.
We’re currently reading; Forced out : a novel / Stephen Frey.
We intend to read; - - Into the storm : a novel / Suzanne Brockmann. - - Mars life / Ben Bova. - - - -
We recommend: The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder
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http://www.shelfari.
com/BugsBleat/shelf?ec=7D790D174EFS18012
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Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include; At our annual fall emergency drill, an “aeromedical” helicopter “burns” after crashing at the Magnolia High School. Many students (over 25 volunteer “victims”) suffered “injuries” from fire and explosion debris. Hal Prevoe, Shaw EMT, Scott Miller, Shaw First Responder, Bubba Whittemore Albemarle EMT and Michael Thomas Albemarle First Responder carry a "patient" from the scene of the helicopter "crash" to waiting ambulances. Amanda Warren, CCAS Owner / Manager was in command of the scene.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat2q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
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Recipe(s) of the week - - - Christmas cookie production has officially begun here. I am trying to get a head start on Christmas presents. Here is my newest recipe. Love, Vanessa
Super Chocolate Chip M&M Cookies
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract (Madagascar Bourbon vanilla or Adam's Twice as Strong)
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
2 ½ cups uncooked regular oats
1 ½ cup (9 ounces) semisweet chocolate morsels
½ cup (3 ounces) mini M&M's
½ cup chopped walnuts or pecans
½ cup coconut
Beat butter at medium speed with a heavy-duty electric mixer until creamy; gradually add sugars, beating well. Add eggs and vanilla; beat well.
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; gradually add to butter mixture, beating well.
Process oats in a food processor until finely ground. Gradually add to butter mixture, beating well.
Process coconut in a food processor until finely ground. Add to butter mixture, beating well. Stir in chocolate morsels, chopped chocolate, and nuts.
Shape cookie dough into 2-inch balls. Place 3 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool slightly on baking sheets; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
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BreakPoint
Names You Need to Know
By Chuck Colson
10/10/2008
Challenging the New Atheists
You know these names, or at least you know many of them: Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens. They’re some of the best known of the “New Atheists,” the group that’s launched a massive public assault against religion over recent years.
Now here are some more names that you need to know: Ravi Zacharias, Alister McGrath, Timothy Paul Jones, and Dinesh D’Souza, among others. These are just some of the outstanding Christian apologists leading the charge against the New Atheists. Each of these distinguished authors has recently published a book targeted at a specific New Atheist, and their arguments are devastating to the atheistic worldview.
First is Ravi Zacharias’s latest book The End of Reason, a response to Sam Harris’s Letter to a Christian Nation. Ravi Zacharias is one of the great Christian thinkers of our time, and one of my own favorite apologists.
Just like Harris’s book, Zacharias’s book is written in the form of a letter to the American people. But as Zacharias points out, “By the end of Sam Harris’s Letter to a Christian Nation, we don’t know who we are in essence or where we are in the grand scheme of a world without God.”
Zacharias wants to set that situation straight. He knows the atheistic worldview all too well, as he states in the book, because he used to share it. And it drove him to the brink of suicide.
It was not until he was given a Bible and came to Christ that his life was turned around. He spends the rest of the book explaining why atheism is “devastating to our hunger for significance,” while the God of the Bible gives us meaning, purpose, and hope.
Then there’s The Dawkins Delusion? by Oxford scholars Alister and Joanna McGrath, which, as the title suggests, deals with Richard Dawkins’s popular book The God Delusion. The McGraths pull no punches about Dawkins’s book; in fact, they ask, “Is the case for atheism really so weak that it has to be bolstered by such half-baked nonsense?”
Lest you think that’s going a little too far, the atheistic philosopher Michael Ruse actually endorsed the McGraths’ book by saying that Dawkins’s work “makes me embarrassed to be an atheist, and the McGraths show why.”
Though Alister McGrath respects Dawkins intelligence and used to be an atheist, himself, he says the kind of blistering and abusive rhetoric that Dawkins resorts to isn’t worthy of him and is easy to take apart.
Then we have Misquoting Truth by Timothy Paul Jones, a response to Bart Ehrman’s book Misquoting Jesus. In contrast to Ehrman, who argues that the Bible is full of changes and mistakes, Jones provides a serious, thorough examination of how the Scripture was compiled and passed down to us over the years, and why we can trust it.
Finally, Dinesh D’Souza’s What’s So Great About Christianity is a very effective answer to Christopher Hitchens’ God Is Not Great.
So don’t forget those names—again, that’s Ravi Zacharias, Alister and Joanna McGrath, Timothy Paul Jones, Dinesh D’Souza—and come visit our website, BreakPoint.org, to find out how you can get copies of their books. You can also order a copy of my book The Faith, which answers many of these same charges. The charges of the New Atheists are all sound bite and no substance. These books will equip you to challenge those baseless assumptions.
For Further Reading and Information
Ravi Zacharias, The End of Reason: A Response to the New Atheists (Zondervan, 2008).
Alister and Joanna McGrath, The Dawkins Delusion?: Atheist Fundamentalism and the Denial of the Divine (InterVarsity Press, 2007).
Timothy Paul Jones, Misquoting Truth: A Guide to the Fallacies of Bart Ehrman's "Misquoting Jesus" (InterVarsity Press, 2007).
Dinesh D’Souza, What’s So Great About Christianity (Regnery, 2007).
“Nietzsche Would Laugh: Morality without God,” BreakPoint Commentary, 26 December 2007.
“What About the Children?: Is Religion Child Abuse?,” BreakPoint Commentary, 27 December 2007.
“A New Breed of Atheist: The Anti-Theist,” BreakPoint Commentary, 2 August 2007.
Regis Nicoll, “Some Chilling Strategies of Neo-Atheists: And How to Answer Them,” BreakPoint Online, 1 February 2008.
© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
littoral: on a coastal or shore region.
volte-face: an about-face.
rubicund: inclining to redness; ruddy.
officious: meddlesome.
implacable: incapable of being pacified.
circumlocution: the use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few.
aficionado: an enthusiastic admirer; a fan.
legerdemain: sleight of hand.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The cynics are right nine times out of ten." - H. L. Mencken
"If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from two, it's research." - Wilson Mizner
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers." - T. S. Eliot
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized." - Sun Tzu
"For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity." - Will Rogers
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." - Mark Twain
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BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
How One Act of Kindness Changed a Life; Woman's Ministry Traced Back to a Simple Gift
Teresa Neumann (October 11, 2008)
"It reminded me that when I was 10 someone came and gave me a shoebox and showed me hope and now I get to do the same thing for those kids."
Samaritan's Purse project, Operation Christmas Child, has highlighted the remarkable story of 19-year-old, former Russian orphan Tanya Poteet, whose life was forever changed by one act of kindness.
According to a story published in The Christian Post, Poteet "was once a hopeless child in a Russian orphanage who thought no one loved her—including her still living alcoholic parents. Although her parents were poor, they could have afforded to buy her a small present with the money they spent on liquor." (Photo: Samaritan's Purse)
Then, one day Operation Christmas Child came to her orphanage and gave her a small gift. "I was told no one loved me and no one ever will," Poteet said. "My shoebox gift it was the first present I ever received."
When she was 14, Poteet reportedly met an American Christian couple at an adoption camp who not only adopted her but also her two younger siblings who were all living in different orphanages. Poteet's adopted mother took them shopping for gifts to fill shoeboxes, at which point Poteet remembered the impact a similar gift had on her years before. Today, Poteet is an intern with Operation Christmas Child and has recently completed a mission trip to Ecuador to deliver shoeboxes to poverty-stricken children.
"It reminded me that when I was 10 someone came and gave me a shoebox and showed me hope and now I get to do the same thing for those kids," she said, adding that she wants to "dedicate her life to work with an international ministry that cares for orphans and let them know that 'someone loves them no matter what’s going on.'"
Source: Michelle A. Vu - The Christian Post
~
ABC News Admits: Fireproof Shows Christian Movies Sell
Aimee Herd (October 6, 2008)
"It's surprising to me what's happening. But I'm not surprised about what God can do."
EDITOR'S NOTE: It’s always nice (though regretfully rare) to see mainstream media acknowledge the success of family values-oriented or Christian based films, and such is the case with the movie "Fireproof," currently in theaters. Of particular importance is the fact that this past weekend, Fireproof went up against Bill Maher's mockumentary of faith entitled "Religulous;" a film that unashamedly bashes every major religion, including Christianity. Fireproof is holding steady at No. 4 for the second weekend in a row, Bill Maher's film did not even chart. Hopefully Hollywood will find within their million dollar budgets, the spare change needed to "purchase a clue" that Americans have lost patience with movies that fly in the face of what they hold dear. –Aimee Herd, BCN.
While BCN is not normally in the movie review business, it is noteworthy, and certainly newsworthy to see the success of the latest effort by the Christian film company, Georgia-based Sherwood Pictures doing so well at the box office.
It does seem to be raising eyebrows in Hollywood, as this weekend (the film's second) it held steady at #4 in the top ten movie lineup.
The film's star, former Growing Pains actor, Kirk Cameron mused over what big producers must be thinking… "Where did this come from? We didn't see it on the radar… what is 'Fireproof?!'" (Photo: Fireproofthemovie.com)
The high debut and staying power of the pro-marriage movie paved the way for numerous interviews in mainstream media by Cameron, who is also co-founder of the Christian ministry, The Way of the Master, along with Ray Comfort. Even ABC News admitted that "Christian movies sell."
Director Alex Kendrick, who co-wrote and co-produced Fireproof with his brother Stephen, explained, "We tried to make a movie that speaks to your middle-American family, and couples facing all the common issues in marriage. Hollywood is good at reflecting the values and lifestyles of people in California and New York. But there are so many of us who have a standard of morality and faith that is rarely reflected in films coming out of Hollywood."
"It's surprising to me what's happening," Kendrick added, "But I'm not surprised about what God can do."
For more information about Fireproof, [http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/]
Source: Luchina Fisher – ABC News
Now Showing In El Dorado AT Stars Cinema 6 2620 West Hillsboro
310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Learning to Cook
Emailed to me from another humor list (Humor_G) -Tom To subscribe to Humor_G, send a blank email to: Humor_G-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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We are fortunate our grand-children live close by and visit us often.
When our seven-year-old granddaughter comes over, she loves to watch her grandmother when she is baking. "Grandma," she asked one day, "where did you learn how to cook?"
Grandma told her that she learned from her mother and passed on this knowledge to her daughter. "Someday," she continued, "your mother will pass this knowledge along to you."
There was a short silence. "No, I don't think so," she said. "Mom puts everything in the microwave."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Waiting for the Plane
Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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"Daddy, why do we have to wait for our flight?"
"Our plane has been grounded."
"Grounded?!? I didn't know planes had parents!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Replacement Glass
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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At the end of a particularly severe winter, we removed the protective covers from our cabin cruiser and found that the weight of the snow had broken the windshield. I drove to the local glass shop, where I paid $110 for a replacement.
The owner asked if I'd like them to install it, but I said I could handle it myself.
I managed to climb up the ladder to the deck before dropping the glass. Sheepishly I returned to the shop. The owner showed no emotion as he cut the second glass.
When I saw another $110 charge, I said, "I thought I might get a break on the second piece of glass."
"I did give you a break," he replied.
"How so?" I asked.
"I didn't laugh, did I?" he answered.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Primitive!
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle.
"Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?"
When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Turned Down
Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Parents can be very upset when their children don't get into the college of their choice. As an Admissions Counselor for a state university, I took a call from an irate mother who was demanding to know why her daughter had been turned down.
Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of "D" grades, I explained that her daughter just wasn't as "competitive" as those students who were admitted. "Why doesn't she try another school for a year and then transfer?" I suggested.
"Another school!" exclaimed the mother. "Have you seen her grades?"
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I wasn't sleeping! \ /
\ _/ I was temporarily \_ /
/ / attention deficient. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Bigamy is having \ /
\ _/ one wife too many. \_ /
/ / Monogamy is the same. \ \
-- Oscar Wilde
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If your knees were \ /
\ _/ bent the other way, \_ /
/ / what would chairs look like? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ "Brevity is ... wit." \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "When you do a good deed, \ /
\ _/ get a receipt, \_ /
/ / in case heaven is like the IRS." \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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New Stock Market Terms:
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM LIVING IN ARKANSAS
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Arkansas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Arkansas plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
'Fixinto' is one word.
There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what
time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
You measure distance in minutes.
You've had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You know what a 'DAWG' is.
You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
There are only four spices we cook with : salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
The first day of deer season is a national holiday.
100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm.'
We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or off to 'Wally World.'
A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . .. if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
It snows about oh...once every 15 yrs!
EVERYONE can't be an Arkansan ; it takes talent. You might say it's an art form!
Thanks to Waneta
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Letter to the College Freshman, From Mom and Dad
By Greg Gutfeld
While all of us have been mired in this financial mess, we've forgotten it's back to school time — with many offspring leaving home for college.
Now, I don't have kids. But that shouldn't stop me from giving advice. If anything, being childless allows me the time to contemplate how to raise them.
And so, I've crafted this "Letter to the College Freshman, From Mom and Dad:"
~
Dear Muffy,
We wish you luck. We're so proud of you, and know you'll do great.
But if you come home claiming meat is murder, while sporting a nose ring and some Asian tattoo stamped on your behind — you can't come in. If you want to make a statement by mutilating the body God gave you — then go the whole nine: Cut off your face and join a carnival. At least that's a career move with strong profit potential.
If, while away, you've decided that America is at fault for everything, then you can sleep in the backyard and use the bushes to relieve yourself. After all, your professors admire Third World countries, so why not live like you're in one?
We do hope college "opens" your mind, but if you announce that terrorism is just the powerless speaking to the powerful, then we invite you to go to their country and empower them. But we won't behead you. We'll leave that to the powerless.
If you also tell us that capitalism is corrupt and socialism is supreme, then hand over your cell phone and your credit cards. Practice what you preach and reject these trappings of an evil market system.
Also, if you must lecture your father on evil corporations, remember that he toiled at one for years so he could afford your tuition, while paying thousands into useless government programs that your teachers embrace. If, after that, you're still moaning, you will do it naked. Because we will take the clothes off your back and kick you out. See how life works when everything we worked so hard for disappears?
Finally, if you really think you're an individual — that is, a person who leads instead of follows — then you should easily resist the indoctrination of your delusional professors, misguided dormies and anyone with purple hair.
But if you come home and suddenly you're "edgy" and "angry" — claiming that the stupidity you picked up on campus is better than the common sense we taught you — then you'll need to find new parents.
Don't worry, we'll still love you. We just can't stand you.
From Barry Brownlee
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And They Ask Why
I Like Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite ....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
SERENITY
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. 'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Now boys, this is why it's so important to have a long range rifle and plenty of distance between you and the deer you hope to bag.
--- Roping a deer ---
I had this idea, that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it corn for a couple of months, then kill it and eat it...
The first step in this adventure was 'getting' a deer. I figured, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me, (A bold one will sometimes, come right up and sniff at the bags of feed, while I am in the back of the truck,... not 4 feet away) it should not be difficult to rope one, get to it and toss a bag over its head, (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end, with my ready rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, the deer showed up...3 of them.
I picked out a likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my lasso. The deer just stood there, staring at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end, so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but I could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step toward it... It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an 'education'.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED like a rocket!
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer... NO chance!
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me, when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go, with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slowly and painfully, somewhere.
At the time, there was no love, at all, between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess... the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots, where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder... a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse, where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head... almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it HURTS!
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the 'beejesus' out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal (like a horse) strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer... so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you, is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead, is paw your back and jump up and down on you, while you are laying there, crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under my truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why, when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope, and stay as far away from that deer until they are sure it is edible!
Thanks to Gary Foreman
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I kinda feel like the buffalo.
glf
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun In one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter:
"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, Turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, Causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere And then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling Another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to The waiter
"Want coffee."
The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says .. "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, Leave mess for others to clean up, Disappear for rest of day.
Thanks To Gary Foreman
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Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...
Sum Ting Wong
Thanks to Larry Taylor
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Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the love handles. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror , but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until ten? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's, 60's &70's. I will walk the beach in a swim suit and I will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set . They, too, will get old.
Hee Hee I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car or dies of old age? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong. (some times more than I like) So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
Thanks to Waneta
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Only a Louisiana Man can make you feel like a real Woman!
A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.
One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane And screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried. Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?'
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a man from Louisiana stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
She gasped...
Then, he spoke... 'Iron this -- and then get me a beer!'
Thanks to Anne Oldham
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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein
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Bad Eyesight
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replies the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" asks Arthur.
"I don't remember."
Received from Kathy Lebron.
(-:][:-)
First Haircut
I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son for his first haircut.
Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
Ice Cream Flavors
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest, and seemed unable to continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.
"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."
Received from Pastor Tim.
(-:][:-)
Lost Phone
My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"
I replied, "Aren't you talking on it?"
There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"
Received from Pastor Tim.
(-:][:-)
Johnny and the Cat
Johnny's mother looked out the door and saw Johnny reading the Bible to his cat. She thought to herself, "Isn't that sweet? I will not disturb him and will let him continue to play with the cat."
Sometime later, Mom heard an awful noise and looked out the door to see Johnny trying to force the cat into a bucket of water. She loudly said to Johnny, "Johnny, what are you trying to do with the cat?"
Johnny replied, "I am trying to baptize him!"
His mom said, "Cats don't like to be in water."
Johnny replied, "Well, then he shouldn't have joined my church."
Received from John A Forsythe.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/10/15/do-bosses-really-need-their-own-national-holiday/ - - Do Bosses Really Need Their Own National Holiday? Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet? I thought I’d “celebrate” National Boss Day with a pair of limericks:
Workplace Diplomacy Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Please mind your own business, I said,
To a woman whose presence I dread.
She is pushy and rude,
Rather nosy and crude.
Even worse—she’s the gal my boss wed.
A Brief Beef
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My boss yelled, “I’ve got a big beef:
Your briefings are seldom … well … brief.
I want the essentials.
You give me tangentials.”
“So long,” I replied, with relief.
http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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New Poetry Chapbook: Light and Shadow
Dr. Dan Skelton's chapbook of verse, Light and Shadow, was released on October 4, 2008 from Fountain City Publishing. His poetic work is both thought provoking and touched with humor. PLEASE share this information with friends, family members and colleagues.
To get YOUR copy, send $8.00 plus $1.00 for postage per book to:
MPL Creative Resources
2733 East Battlefield #309
Springfield, MO 65804
Make checks out to Mindy Lawrence and Include this information:
Name:___________________________
Address:_________________________
City/State/Zip:____________________
E-mail:________________________
MPL CREATIVE RESOURCES
Mindy P. Lawrence
2733 East Battlefield #309
Springfield, MO 65804
http://www.freewebs.com/mplcreative
mplcreative@yahoo.com
---------------------------------------------
Editing ~ Writing ~ Publicity ~ Representation
---------------------------------------------
Publicist and Literary Agent for Dr. Dan Skelton
“You are in exactly the time and place prepared for you. Believe in your own worth to the universe. Do not doubt. Do not be afraid. Do not act meanly. Take what comes--both the hard and easy--and learn from it. Advance ever. In the journey, you become yourself. Begin.”
~ Dan Skelton
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| Safety from the Heart |
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October 6, 2008
It is not too early to think about the fireplace safety
Today's Message is from YF Huang (Baton Rouge Tower Albemarle employee).
FACTSHEET - FIREPLACE SAFETY
Woodburning and gas fireplaces are designed to safely provide years of comfort, warmth and relaxation. To ensure they can do their job, fireplaces require maintenance and proper operation. Before lighting the first fire of the season, there are a few important fireplace safety tips to remember.
WOODBURNING FIREPLACE SAFETY AND MAINTENANCE TIPS
PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE
u Have the chimney inspected annually, and cleaned as necessary, by a professional chimney sweep to ensure it’s clear of obstructions and creosote.
u Have a cap installed at the top of the chimney to avoid the possibility that debris or animals can block the chimney.
u Install both a smoke and carbon monoxide detector. (Make sure the
batteries work.)
u Keep a fire extinguisher on hand.
u Make sure the area around the fireplace is clear of furniture, books, newspapers and other potentially flammable materials. (Two feet away is a good rule.)
LIGHTING FIRE
u Clean out ashes from previous fires. Open the damper.
u Use a fireplace grate.
u Keep glass doors open during the fire.
u Use fireplace tools to tend the fire.
u Build a safe fire.
u Always close the firescreen when in use.
USING COMMON SENSE
u Never burn garbage, rolled newspapers, charcoal or plastic in the fireplace.
u Never use gasoline or any liquid accelerant to help start a fire.
u Keep small children and pets away from the fireplace.
u Never leave a fire unattended.
u Don’t close the damper until the embers have completely stopped burning.
u Make sure the fire is completely out before going to bed or leaving the house.
u When cleaning the fireplace, store ashes in a non-combustible container with a tightly fitting lid and place the container away from the house.
u Never burn a Christmas tree in the fireplace.
Starting a Safe Fire - Creating a perfect fire starts with using seasoned firewood cut to the correct length. To start a safe fire, crumple paper on the grate within the fireplace and cover it with kindling or a manufactured firestarter. Open the fireplace damper fully and light the paper. Once the kindling or the firestarter is burning brightly, add dry seasoned wood to the fire and shut the firescreen. It's important to avoid overloading the fireplace so the firewood doesn't tumble out. A couple of logs will suffice. Burning a manufactured firelog purchased from the grocery or hardware store is a good alternative to firewood, and does not require paper to get the fire started.
WWW.HPBA.ORG
ADDITIONAL FIREPLACE SAFETY TIPS
ROLE OF CHIMNEY SWEEPING - Chimney upkeep is complicated by the fact that many problems (cracks, faults, and structural damage) are not visible from the outside. To ensure chimney safety, the best course of action is to have a professional chimney sweep, certified by the Chimney Safety Institute of America (CSIA), perform an annual inspection and clean the chimney as necessary. Chimney sweeps remove cresote and obstructions, such as leaves, branches or bird's nests, and look for other problems within the system.
GAS FIREPLACE SAFETY MAINTENANCE TIPS Gas fireplaces also require routine maintenance and service to ensure their proper working order. The best person to perform the service is a specialty retailer who is trained in the maintenance of gas fireplaces. A retailer will complete the following type of tasks when performing service on a gas fireplace:
u Adjust millivolt output.
u Clean and ajdust the glowing embers and logs for best appearance.
u Clean the fan and related air circulation passages.
u Clean the glass.
u Check the batteries in the carbon monoxide detector.
u Ensure the vents are unobstructed and able to do their job.
HEARTH RETAILERS ARE AN IMPORTANT RESOURCE All hearth products, not just fireplaces, need to be maintained and operated properly in order to function afely and perform at their best. To fully understand the necessary steps involved in proper operation, read the manufacturer’s instruction manual for the hearth product and consult with a local specialty retailer for input and guidance. A specialty retailer is an important resource. To locate a specialty retailer, go to www.hpba.org.
GAS FIREPLACE SAFETY MAINTENANCE TIPSProfessional installation by a qualified technician is essential to the proper performance and safety of a hearth product and its venting system. Unlike a malfunctioning refrigerator, a hearth product that doesn’t do its job properly can have serious consequences. Many specialty retailers offer installation by factory-trained and/or nationally certified staff. To verify if an installer is certified, contact the National Fireplace Institute (NFI) at www.nficertified.org, or to verify factory training, use the hearth product manufacturer directory at www.hpba.org for contact information. Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association • 1901 N. Moore Street, Suite 600 • Arlington, VA 22209 • www.hpba.org
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| Safety from the Heart |
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October 10, 2008
Staying Happy and Healthy
Today's Message is from Brittany Bayer (a Pasadena Albemarle employee)
Cold and flu season is just around the corner. Remember these easy prevention steps to stay happy and healthy through the fall and winter.
#1 Wash Your Hands
Most cold and flu viruses are spread by direct contact. Someone who has the flu sneezes onto their hand, and then touches the telephone, the keyboard, a kitchen glass. The germs can live for hours -- in some cases weeks -- only to be picked up by the next person who touches the same object. So wash your hands often. If no sink is available, rub your hands together very hard for a minute or so. That also helps break up most of the cold germs. Or rub an alcohol-based hand sanitizer onto your hands.
#2 Don't Cover Your Sneezes and Coughs With Your Hands
Because germs and viruses cling to your bare hands, muffling coughs and sneezes with your hands results in passing along your germs to others. When you feel a sneeze or cough coming, use a tissue, then throw it away immediately. If you don't have a tissue, turn your head away from people near you and cough into the air.
#3 Don't Touch Your Face
Cold and flu viruses enter your body through the eyes, nose, or mouth. Touching their faces is the major way children catch colds, and a key way they pass colds on to their parents.
#4 Drink Plenty of Fluids
Water flushes your system, washing out the poisons as it rehydrates you. A typical, healthy adult needs eight 8-ounce glasses of fluids each day. How can you tell if you're getting enough liquid? If the color of your urine runs close to clear, you're getting enough. If it's deep yellow, you need more fluids.
#5 Take a Sauna
Researchers aren't clear about the exact role saunas play in prevention, but one 1989 German study found that people who steamed twice a week got half as many colds as those who didn't. One theory: When you take a sauna you inhale air hotter than 80 degrees, a temperature too hot for cold and flu viruses to survive.
#6 Get Fresh Air
A regular dose of fresh air is important, especially in cold weather when central heating dries you out and makes your body more vulnerable to cold and flu viruses. Also, during cold weather more people stay indoors, which means more germs are circulating in crowded, dry rooms.
#7 Do Aerobic Exercise Regularly
Aerobic exercise speeds up the heart to pump larger quantities of blood; makes you breathe faster to help transfer oxygen from your lungs to your blood; and makes you sweat once your body heats up. These exercises help increase the body's natural virus-killing cells.
#8 Eat Foods Containing Phytochemicals
"Phyto" means plants, and the natural chemicals in plants give the vitamins in food a supercharged boost. So put away the vitamin pill, and eat dark green, red, and yellow vegetables and fruits.
#9 Eat Yogurt
Some studies have shown that eating a daily cup of low-fat yogurt can reduce your susceptibility to colds by 25 percent. Researchers think the beneficial bacteria in yogurt may stimulate production of immune system substances that fight disease.
#10 Don't Smoke
Statistics show that heavy smokers get more severe colds and more frequent ones. Even being around smoke profoundly zaps the immune system. Smoke dries out your nasal passages and paralyzes cilia. These are the delicate hairs that line the mucous membranes in your nose and lungs, and with their wavy movements, sweep cold and flu viruses out of the nasal passages. Experts contend that one cigarette can paralyze cilia for as long as 30 to 40 minutes.
#11 Cut Alcohol Consumption
Heavy alcohol use suppresses the immune system in a variety of ways. Heavier drinkers are more prone to initial infections as well as secondary complications. Alcohol also dehydrates the body -- it actually takes more fluids from your system than it puts in.
#12 Relax
If you can teach yourself to relax, you can activate your immune system on demand. There's evidence that when you put your relaxation skills into action, your interleukins -- leaders in the immune system response against cold and flu viruses -- increase in the bloodstream. Train yourself to picture an image you find pleasant or calming. Do this 30 minutes a day for several months. Keep in mind, relaxation is a learnable skill, but it is not doing nothing. People who try to relax, but are in fact bored, show no changes in blood chemicals
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.
Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:
Houston Mayor Sick and Tired of Benzene Emissions by Celeste Monforton Lyondell Chemical's refinery in Houston legally emits tons of benzene into the air every year. Before the company gets a 10-year extension on its toxic air emissions permit, the Mayor wants the State's air quality commission to hold a public hearing. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/houston-mayor-sick-and-tired-of-benzene-emissions/
Flu as Child Killer by revere After thw severe 2004 influenza season, a new pediatric surveillance system was put in place to provide better morbidity and mortality data. CIDRAP News reports on some of the findings, including that MRSA is a common accomplice in pediatric flu deaths. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/flu-as-child-killer/
MSHA hits Galatia Mine with $1.46M penalty by Celeste Monforton The Mine Safety and Health Administration assessed a hefty monetary penalty against American Coal, for flagrant violations of safety standards at one of its underground coal mines in Illinois. The company is a subsidiary of Murray Energy, the operator of the now abandoned Crandall Canyon mine where nine men were killed in August 2007. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/09/msha-hits-galatia-mine-with-146m-penalty/
Occupational Health News Roundup by Christina Morgan
Elizabeth Berzon of the Las Vegas Sun continues her stellar reporting on the spate of construction worker deaths at new casino projects, and the finger pointing between federal OSHA and Nevada OSHA. Read also about NC OSHA's citation against Smithfield Packing, and the United Mine Workers objections to MSHA's plans for an "audio" only public hearing. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/08/occupational-health-news-roundup-8-2/
The Toll of Coal by Nathan Fetty A young child's comment "I see orange water" urges us to admit the toll of coal mining on our natural resources, our communities and our workers. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/08/the-toll-of-coal/
World Day for Decent Work by Celeste Monforton The campaign "Decent Work Decent Life" remind us that every job is not necessary a good job. Across the globe, 1.4 billion people work, but still live on less than $2 per day. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/world-day-for-decent-work/
Libby MT: Playing fast and loose with people's lives by Celeste Monforton The US Senate Environment and Public Works Committee issued a report last month that chronicled the EPA's decision NOT to declare the asbestos-contamination in Libby, Montana a "public health emergency," under CERCLA. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/libby-mt-playing-fast-and-loose-with-peoples-lives/
Current Events, Insurance, and Women's Health by Liz Borkowski
A new report from the National Women's Law Center provides insight on the economic downturn and loss of employee-sponsored health insurance, especially for women. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/current-events-insurance-and-women%e2%80%99s-health/
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
My Election Disappointment!
Alright folks, I am extremely disappointed in this election. There have been no real discussions about what the candidates plan for working America. All I have heard from both parties is; I understand what middle class workers are going through and I feel your pain. Well first off we know that is not possible even if you have had a struggle, unless you are in that particular circumstance you cannot fully understand. So I really don’t want to hear I understand one more time, no one wants pity!
Let’s go back to basics. What goes around comes around. You give nothing and that’s what you get, nothing. I don’t want one more ad, plea or dog the big dog campaign. I want it straight from the lips, how do the candidates plan to reform workers compensation, freedom of chose, workplace safety, workplace health, job stability.
This isn’t a rant about what companies are doing wrong; we need good companies as well as workers rights, health and safety addressed. Employment, medical leave, discrimination, wages, hours and benefits mean different things to different people.
I guess what started this whole rant is an article I found Corporate Counsel Say Election Will Impact Employment Law.
We all know the ones that boast the most have the most to boast about so if there is money to be made why not scare them into spreading it around a little sooner. Personally I see no real reason for anyone to think this will be a major concern of either party. I know I will get a few emails about what this one or that one plans to do or not do but I don’t want the props I will say it again I want to hear it straight from the candidates! I know they can’t cover every issue but they have pretty much covered the same few issues to death and I am pretty sure we all get it. Show me you can be diverse and you’re not just jumping the band wagon.
Ok back to the article again this was a survey and who knows what type but regardless some companies feel this election is going to have an adverse effect on the way they do business.
“…the "In-House Counsel Workplace" survey of nearly 400 corporate counsel from ACC's Employment and Labor Law Committee conducted in August, showed that more than half of their companies were not instituting a reduction in workforce and most of those did not expect to do so over the next 12 months.
On day-to-day challenges, corporate counsel cited workplace discrimination as the most time-consuming employment issue, followed by family and medical leave, wages and hours, and employee benefits. The most demanding issue for corporate legal department was cited as harassment/discrimination prevention and compliance, followed by Family and Medical Leave Act compliance and wage and hour compliance. Compliance with the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act and Sarbanes-Oxley rounded out the top five.
"The results of the Survey illustrate that employment issues are among the chief concerns in corporate America," adds Patrick L. Vaccaro, firm-wide Managing Partner of Jackson Lewis. "Change is in the air and our clients are gearing-up to face the challenges ahead."
Looking forward to this year's presidential election, 60.5 percent of the committee member respondents believed the election outcome would affect labor and employment laws, while 39.5 percent said they did not expect the November ballot to have an impact. Among the potential changes cited by respondents were the possibility of increased costs for health benefits and mandatory paid sick days; a resurgence of workplace regulation generally; and passage of the Employee Free Choice Act, which would eliminate secret ballots in union organizing drives and strengthen labor's hand in negotiations over union representation. “
Most Companies Not Cutting Workers
52.8 percent, said their companies were not instituting reductions- in-force in any of their operations,
47.2 percent said they were
Discrimination Claims a Top Concern
73.5 percent said their companies had been a defendant in employment-related litigation.
52.6 percent said they had faced discrimination complaints.
27.0 percent said wage and hour complaints being the second most frequent.
Why companies feel this election is going to adversely effect them is beyond me because I have seen nothing really being discusses except some over site and it had to do with our government backing (US citizens backing), so unless you own a bank or back some notes there is no need to get your panties in a ruffle. What this does show me is that almost 48 percent of the business plan to cut jobs and the reason the servey can say “Most companies not cutting work” is because they will still have a job and pump out the same amount of whatever they are pumping by pushing few workers to get more done while taking on more responsibly with no raises. Of course this is not a concern and as of right now they know the workers are just glad to have work. Plus when things do get better the company’s profit margins are even higher than the previous quarters because they know they can do it on the workers backs.
As far as discrimination, wage and hour complaints, quit jerking the workers around and you won’t have this issue…problem solved.
Ok I feel better now but this is what I would like to see covered in the election.
Workers compensation: Too much compensation is denied, ignored and when given is too low. Workers often cannot choose a good doctor and system of checks and balances is about as corrupt as it can get. It was designed to protect the worker and has accompished the opposite .
Freedom of chose: Workers should have the right to organize and vote without harassment and too many laws that we do have are ignored.
Workplace safety and health: Where the hell is it and when can we expect it?
Job stability: What are you going to do to ensure our jobs stay in the US and return to the US?
http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/
01. Pfc. Tavarus D. Setzler, 23, of Jacksonville, Fla., died Oct. 2 of wounds sustained when his vehicle struck an improvised explosive device in Majar al Kabir, Iraq. He was assigned to the 2d Squadron, 7th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
02. Spc. Jason E. von Zerneck, 33, of Charlotte, N.C., died on Oct. 2 of injuries sustained from a vehicle incident in Qara Bagh Karez, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2d Squadron, 101st Cavalry Regiment, New York Army National Guard, Jamestown, N.Y.
03. Sgt. William P. Rudd, 27, of Madisonville, Ky., died Oct. 5 of wounds suffered from enemy small arms fire while on a combat patrol in Mosul, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Benning, Ga.
04. Col. Michael R. Stahlman, 45, of Chevy Chase, Md., died Oct. 5 from injuries sustained in a July 31 non-hostile incident in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Headquarters Battalion, Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center, Twentynine Palms, Calif.
05. Cpl. Jason A. Karella, 20, of Anchorage, Alaska, died Oct. 9 while supporting combat operations in Farah province, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.
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Pilot Missing in Action From The Vietnam War is Identified
The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.
He is Capt. Lorenza Conner, U.S. Air Force, of Cartersville, Ga. He will be buried Oct. 25 in Cartersville.
On Oct. 27, 1967, Conner and his copilot flew an F-4D Phantom II fighter jet in a flight of four on a combat air patrol mission over North Vietnam where the plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire over Tuyen Quang Province, North Vietnam. The copilot ejected safely, was captured and later released by Vietnamese forces, but Conner could not eject from the aircraft before it crashed.
In 1992, Vietnamese citizens told U.S. officials that they had information concerning the remains of missing U.S. servicemen and they turned over Conner’s identification tag.
Between 1992 and 2003, several joint U.S./Socialist Republic of Vietnam (S.R.V.) teams, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), investigated this incident, interviewed witnesses and surveyed the crash site. At the crash site, teams found aircrew-related equipment and aircraft wreckage consistent with an F-4 Phantom II.
In 2007, another joint team excavated the site and recovered human remains.
Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC also used dental comparisons in the identification of Conner’s remains.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
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Ducks Unlimited Banquet, Saturday, October 25, Main Event Pavillion. For tickets or more information, contact Blake Hogue, Tommy Surles, Greg Harrell, or Genia Harrell
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Scheduled Activities
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CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mark 4:21-23 Phil 4:8-9 James 1:16-18 Jer 29:11-14 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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1 comment:
Yeah well judging all atheists on the thoughts of the likes of Dawkins etc ,holds about as much weight and honesty of reason .
As it would be to judge all christians on the thoughts of a few .
It wouldnt take a lot to come up with some mighty radical thinking religious folk to start pointing fingers at.
But i wont bother .I personally feel it would only show me up to be a person of such shallow thinking.
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