Saturday, November 29, 2008

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful..... - - Photos

  Josiah and Ethan in “Church Clothes”
  Ricky Shepherd hosts “Finish That Tune” at the annual DMAT Pot Luck
  AR-1 members enjoy the entertainment
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

  Some Abstract Shots
  Two from this week
  One from the '70s
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

  David helping clean up our yard.
  Papaw Tammy Duke
  David behind our "Hippie Made" End Tables / Room Divider
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

  David aboard AMTRAK, headed for St. Louis in October of '94.
  David's Playpen (note the emergency escape door.)
  David in Manny's back yard.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

  Looking back, MamMaw Dorothy was a pretty young graduate.
  Another young shot of MamMaw Dorothy
  MamMaw Annette, taken when David was Ethan's age.
  Another shot of Annette, studying for her senior semester tests.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

  Vanessa brings in the goodies for Thankgiving
  Jimmy Helps
  Josiah had on his Thanksgiving Best
  Vanessa Helps David & Bobbie set the table.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: I am Thankful.....

Volume 10, Issue 48 Friday, November 28, 2008

Hello All,

In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these. - - Paul Harvey (via Joe Tudor)
~~~~~
Thanksgiving always reminds me of all the people who've blessed us. And, all the other ways God has poured out his love in our lives. "A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving." - Albert Einstein
In "Saving Private Ryan" an elderly James Ryan stands in the military graveyard at Normandy, looking at the head stone of the man who saved his life, he turns to his wife and says "Tell me I have led a good life." He means, "Did I live a life that was worthy of these men?"
Like the professor and James Ryan, I'm reminded daily of all the people who are responsible for the life I lead. At home, church and work, I'm surrounded with people who amaze me. Their dedication to God and their willingness to share his love is truly inspiring.
I'm thankful to God who has blessed me with family and friends like you.
~~~~~
Thanksgiving has long held a special place in my life. I'm very thankful to be married to a wonderful, woman who led me to the Lord and never ceases to encourage me and bless me. And, we're extremely thankful that Annette was able to be up and about a little (thanks for praying for us.) Our kids and their spouses are not only fun, they're compassionate and loving. And, of course, Dustin, Zach, Josiah and Ethan are the greatest GRAND KIDS anyone could have. And, I’m thankful for our extended family. Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. We have a FANTASTIC church family and I work with some truly great people. But more than anything, I'm thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
P.S. We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet... 2 Thessalonians 1:3
~~~~~
Did I tell you, we had a GREAT Thanksgiving? Our clan (Annette, Claiborne & I, David, Bobbie, Dusty & Zach and Jimmy, Vanessa, Josiah & Ethan) all gathered at David and Bobbies for a FEAST. Bobbie truly is the “hostess with the mostess.” David had cooked a ham and turkey to go with Bobbie’s squash, rice, gravy and dressing. Vanessa contributed some great cranberry sauce as well as other trimmings and our “patient” Annette managed to make (with a very little help from me) “lumps” (mashed potatoes), “potato puff” (sweet potato casserole), her famous green bean casserole, her baked Italian bread treat and a mandarin orange salad that Zach wouldn’t let us bring back home.
It was a great time with the family and then the men sneaked off to the game room and watched “dirty jobs” until the women found us.
Food, Fellowship, days off work, what more can a guy ask for?
Of course, we all ate too much and had to go home and take a long nap. I know that Thanksgiving is more that food, family and a nap, but those things are still essential.
~~~~~
This was our first Thanksgiving since MamMaw Dorothy passed away and we missed her. There were several stories about what MamMaw would have done with the meal.
~~~~~
The Arkansas LSU game today was a great finish to the week. Jimmy, Josiah and David watched the game while I took the girls and Ethan to Texarkana for some shopping. Annette is almost finished with her Angel tree presents. Fortunately, I found the game on XM and we listened to it. Vanessa and I sat in the car and finished the game after we’d dropped Annette off at home. She started shouting “Woo Pigs Soouie” when LSU failed to score in their last possession
~~~~~
Another thing we’re thankful for is your messages of encouragement. Every week it's a tossup whether I do the "Bleat" or go buy a Harley and some gold chains to wear under my open silk shirt. But thanks to y’all, those chains and Harley seem to never be in the plan.
We also want to hear your criticism. Within our limits, we want this to be something you enjoy reading.
~~~~~
And I’m also thankful for the following to help us recover from the meals: The Truth Behind 10 Diet Myths
True or false: You'll get fat if you eat at night, high fructose corn syrup makes you gain weight , and caffeine is bad for you.

Those are all diet myths that got busted today in Chicago at the American Dietetic Association's annual meeting.

Meet the diet myth busters: Christine Rosenbloom, PhD, RD, CSSD, of Georgia State University in Atlanta Roberta Duyff, MS, RD, FADA, CFCS, the St. Louis-based author of the American Dietetic Association Complete Food and Nutrition Guide.

Here are 10 diet myths Rosenbloom shattered at the conference, and Duyff’s tips on telling diet fact from diet fiction.

Myth: Eating at night makes you fat.
Reality: Calories count, whenever you eat them.
There's no proof for this myth, Rosenbloom says. She notes some small studies with mixed results, tests on animals, and a belief that because eating breakfast is linked to lower BMI, eating at night isn't as good. But all in all, Rosenbloom says, it's your calorie total that matters, day or night.

Myth: Avoid foods with a high glycemic index.
Reality: You could use the glycemic index to adjust your food choices, but don't make it your sole strategy for losing weight or controlling blood sugar, Rosenbloom says.
"For those people that are already counting carbs, this can be a way for them to fine-tune their food choices, but it isn't the be-all, end-all for weight loss," she says.

Myth: High fructose corn syrup causes weight gain.
Reality: "There's probably nothing particularly evil about high fructose corn syrup, compared to regular old sugar," Rosenbloom says.
She explains that this diet myth arose in 2003, when researchers noticed that obesity was rising along with the use of high fructose corn syrup. "They speculated that ... maybe we handle [high fructose corn syrup] differently than we do sugar," but "there really isn't any evidence to support that," she says.
The American Medical Association recently concluded that high fructose corn syrup doesn't contribute to obesity beyond its calories.

Myth: Caffeine is unhealthy.
Reality: Rosenbloom says there is some evidence that caffeine may have a positive effect on some diseases, including gout and Parkinson's disease, besides caffeine's famous alertness buzz.
Also, caffeine doesn't dehydrate people who consume it regularly, Rosenbloom says.
But she cautions that caffeine isn't always listed on product labels, and children who drink a lot of caffeinated energy drinks may get more caffeine than their parents expect. "Kids tend to guzzle these things, whereas an adult may sip a beverage," Rosenbloom says.

Myth: The less fat you eat, the better.
Reality: "For some people, counting fat grams can work for weight control, but it isn't the be-all end-all for people," Rosenbloom says.
She says that people with heart disease, diabetes, and metabolic syndrome may benefit from adding a little healthy fat -- the monounsaturated kind -- and cutting back on carbohydrates. But they shouldn't increase their overall fat intake -- just swap saturated fat for monounsaturated fat. "If you go out to an Italian restaurant and you have triple cheese-meat-sausage lasagna but then you have a little olive oil on your bread, you're not doing much for your heart," Rosenbloom says.

Myth: To eat less sodium, avoid salty-tasting foods and use sea salt in place of table salt.
Reality: Your sense of taste doesn't always notice sodium, and sea salt or other gourmet salts aren't healthier than table salt.
"Just because it doesn't taste salty doesn't mean that it isn't salty," Rosenbloom says. She says many processed foods contain a lot of sodium -- check the label.
Sea salt, Rosenbloom says, contains slightly less sodium per teaspoon than table salt only because sea salt is coarser, so fewer grains fit into the teaspoon.

Myth: Drinking more water daily will help you lose weight.
Reality: There's no evidence that water peels off pounds.
Foods containing water -- such as soup -- can fill you up, "but just drinking water alone doesn't have the same impact," Rosenbloom says. "Our thirst mechanism and our hunger mechanism are two different things."

Myth: Whole grains are always healthier than refined grains.
Reality: Whole grains are a healthy choice, but you needn't ditch refined grains. "You can have some of each," Rosenbloom says.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture's "My Pyramid" dietary guidelines recommend getting at least half of your grain servings from whole grains. "It doesn't say you have to replace all of your breads with whole grains or all of your foods with whole grains," Rosenbloom says. She adds that enriched grains -- refined grains with certain nutrients added (such as wheat enriched with folic acid, an important nutrient for preventing neural tube birth defects) -- have some perks. "Enriched grains generally are going to have more folate, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and iron. The whole grains usually have more fiber, vitamin e, selenium, zinc, potassium -- so there's kind of a trade-off," Rosenbloom says.

Myth: Sugar causes behavioral problems in kids.
Reality: You might want to check your expectations about sugar and children's behavior.
For most children, "the excitement that kids have when supposedly they eat sugar is probably more related to the event and the excitement of the event than it is to actually consuming sugar," Rosenbloom says. She cites research showing that when parents think their kids have been given sugar, they rate the children's behavior as more hyperactive -- even when no sugar is eaten.

Myth: Protein is the most important nutrient for athletes.
Reality: "It is true that athletes need more protein than sedentary people. They just don't need as much as they think. And they probably don't need it from supplements; they're probably getting plenty in their food," Rosenbloom says.
But timing matters. Rosenbloom recommends that after weight training, athletes consume a little bit of protein -- about 8 grams, the amount in a small carton of low-fat chocolate milk -- to help their muscles rebuild. "That's probably all you need," she says. "You don't need four scoops of whey powder to get that amount of protein."

How to Spot a Diet Myth
New diet myths can crop up at any time; fads come and go. To Duyff, the task of telling nutrition myth from reality boils down to this: Step back, check out the evidence, and be a bit skeptical. Here is Duyff's specific advice:
Look for red flags, such as promises that sound too good to be true or dramatic statements refuted by reputable health organizations.
Think critically. Consider the "facts" touted in diet myths. Are they from biased or preliminary research? "One study doesn't make a fact," Duyff says.
"The messages need to be evidence-based," which means multiple studies conducted in large groups of people and reviewed by independent scientists.
Ask an expert. A registered dietitian or other health professional can help you tell nutritional fact from fiction. Remember, there are no magic bullets.
"The true approach to good health includes an overall healthy eating pattern, enjoyed and followed over time," Duyff says.

By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

http://www.webmdhealth.com/ehealth/common/content/webmdtopic.aspx?webmdlink=/content/WebMDArticles/WebMD/WebMD_News_091e9c5e802858a3.html
~~~~~
It's been a month of memories. Last weekend Mike Weingarten showed up at my door. Mike was one of the Yankee kids Coach Dick Carter recruited to run track at SSC. I ran around with Mike, Steve Bender, John Bland, Ted Sigman and Ken Giretz back then (they were the “heads” on campus.) I hadn't seen Mike since 1970 and it was great to “catch up” with all the gang through him. He came down with Steve Bender and Susan (Franks) Bender to look at some land in Macedonia.
Then, Friday, I saw Mike Dunn’s name on the "LinkedIn" list [http://www.linkedin.com/]. Mike is another old buddy that I haven’t seen since Christmas of 1971. Last I'd heard he was a Washington lobbyist and, according to LinkedIn, he still is. I guess it agreed with him.
~~~~~
Vanessa left the following note for us this week. “Hi, Daddy,
Pastor Steve’s sermon yesterday was really thought-provoking for me considering that Jimmy and I are in transition right now. Pastor Steve talked about the scripture in Ephesians which states that we are created for good works. I can’t remember exactly how he put it, but he said something like, “Multitudes are waiting for you to become the person God made you to be.” I don’t know if he said or I thought, “Where we are doesn’t matter so much as what we are becoming.”
Last night, Jimmy and I were talking about whether or not you can claim a position at a church by faith in prayer. We agreed that doing such a thing would be the same as claiming someone you met as a spouse. You really can’t. That church has a will, also. We decided that the only thing we Can do is to consecrate ourselves to become what God wants us to be, to daily follow His leading. I really believe that if we focus on becoming the person He wants us to be, then we will find ourselves Where He wants us to be.
Much love to my Daddy,
Vanessa”
~~~~~
Now that I’ve got Vanessa’s attention, here’s my Christmas list. I’m going to keep this one running here for the benefit of my family (and anyone else who is so inclined).
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, AA
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (up to three of them)
Craft Kit, Picture Frame, to construct 11"x14" frames.
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA
Digital Video Recorder
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
Handkerchiefs
“Happy Birthday” Jesus Offering
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
Non-skid toilet rug
Oven Thermometer
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or workbench.
Socks (the $30 a pair kind)
Some Warm-up Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
USB “Thumb Drive”
VHS - DVD Recorder
~
And, for the more wheel healed gift giver, here’s my list of very expensive gifts.
MOTOART C-119 Coffee Table or MotoArt B-25 Bomber Desk or
727 GalleyBar.
Humvee
My dream, a Hasselblad H3D-31 kit (camera body, viewfinder, and 80mm lens) is now offered at a new, lower price of only $15,203.66
or, an even better deal, the Hasselblad 503CWD Limited Edition, Digital SLR with a 16 MP Back. This retro design features Victor Hasselblad’s engraved signature. And a 1Gb CF card. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasselblad]
This list is subject to grow as Christmas approaches.
~~~~~
If you still haven't bought those kids toys for Christmas, check out Parent's Choice Foundation.
Established in 1978, Parents’ Choice is the nation's oldest nonprofit guide to quality children's media and toys.
They have a great Holiday Gift Guide.
[http://parents-choice.org/]
Of course, our all time favorite “Best Toy” list is the one put out each year by Family Fun. You can see the ‘07 list at [http://familyfun.go.com/parties/holiday-seasonal/specialfeature/famf1108-toy-main/]
~~~~~
Stephen Burton has been in New Orleans with a team from SAU Tech filming a public service commercial for the City. Check out the Press Release: [http://www.cityofno.com/pg-126-44-press-releases.aspx?pressid=5075]
~~~~~
Ricky Shepherd sent us this Turkey Quiz. You might be better at it than we were. [http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp]
~~~~~
SIRIUS XM Radio (NASDAQ: SIRI) Announces Their Holiday Channel Lineup: Radio Hanukkah is back, along with holiday hits sung by Bruce Springsteen, Bing Crosby, Pavarotti, Nat 'King' Cole, to name a few.

Holly on SIRIUS channel 81 and XM channel 35 will broadcast contemporary holiday hits mixed with selected traditional favorites.
Bing Crosby Christmas Radio on SIRIUS channel 113 and XM channel 120, a non-stop broadcast of more than twenty years of vintage Bing Crosby holiday radio specials will air beginning December 13 at 12 midnight ET to Christmas Day, December 25.
Holiday Traditions on XM channel 36 will broadcast traditional holiday recordings from the '40s through the '60s will air beginning Monday, November 24 at 12 midnight ET through Christmas Day, December 25.
Holiday Pops on SIRIUS channel 79 and XM channels 37 and 77 will broadcast beloved carols sung by the greatest classical musicians of all-time beginning Thanksgiving Day November 27 at 12 midnight ET to Christmas Day, December 25.
Radio Hanukkah on SIRIUS channel 3 and XM channel 38 will broadcast a celebration showcasing Hanukkah music and Jewish culture. Radio Hanukkah will air beginning the first night of Hanukkah on December 21 starting at 12 midnight ET to December 29.
XM / Sirus Radio Subscribers can also enjoy Christmas music on the following channels online:
Holly* 35 Contemporary Holiday Hits
Holiday Traditions* 15 Traditional Holiday Hits
Sirius XM Pops* 77 Holiday Hits
~~~~~
Patrick Waller plans a holiday trip to see family in Magnolia, Ark., this week. This is Mr. Waller's first Thanksgiving after being released from prison this past summer. He was wrongfully imprisoned 16 years ago and is making up for the lost time by spending more time with his children, friends and mother. ... When people hear his story, Mr. Waller said, they often ask if he's angry and resents the time he has lost. While he was locked up, he would get upset but always found peace in prayer, he said.
"I was always taught to forgive. I know I can't function and be productive in life with a big ball of hate in me," Mr. Waller said. "I just have to live the best I can.
"What's hate going to get me? I'd just be locking myself back up."
[http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/DN-wallerfree_27met.ART.Central.Edition1.4ab84a9.html]
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
Thanks to your generous spirit during our recent Health Fair, United Blood Services had 29 volunteers with a total of 31 units of blood. These donations are greatly appreciated by not only UBS, but by those who benefitted from your donation!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - November 27, 2008 - Here's hoping you and yours have a wonderful holiday!
Today's Story: Daryn Sends Thanksgiving Greetings! - I wanted to keep it simple today--just express thanks for all of you. Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/blogarchive/blog_081127_thanksgiving.html]
Oh Yeah, Even More Thanks! - I guess my video wasn't enough. I left you another message in my blog, along with the biggest stack of Thanksgiving cards I could find. Watch Video >> [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/DarynsBlog.html]
~~~~~
We were saddened to hear of the untimely death of Matthew Bossier, Joe's youngest son, who passed away last weekend. Matt was 27 years old. Funeral Mass was held at St. Alphonsus Catholic Church, 14040 Greenwell Springs Rd. on Wednesday.
Please keep Joe and his family in your thoughts and prayers at this difficult time in their lives.
~~~~~
We are all saddened to learn of the death of Gene Bentley. Gene was a long-time employee (Dow/Ethyl/Albemarle) prior to his retirement in 1999.
~~~~~
Old friend and Magnolia attorney Mike Kinard has been appointed to the Arkansas Court of Appeals by Gov. Mike Beebe.
Kinard will serve as the court’s Fifth District judge through 2010. An election will be held in 2010 to select someone to serve the remaining two years in Bird’s eight year term. The Fifth District includes Ashley, Bradley, Calhoun Cleveland Columbia , , , Dallas, Drew, Grant, Lafayette, Lincoln Nevada Ouachita and , , Union counties.
The new judge, a Waldo native, graduated from Southern State College, the University of Arkansas and the Arkansas Law School. He was admitted to the bar in 1966. Kinard was deputy prosecuting attorney in Columbia County from 1966-1973, and 13th Judicial District prosecuting attorney from 1977-1980. He was an Arkansas state senator from 1987-1990.
Kinard respects the honor that the governor has conveyed through the appointment.
"It’s one of those things that you can’t just turn down if you’re asked, realizing that if you turn it down, you’re not going to be asked to do anything else. It will be a great experience," Kinard said.
Excerpts from Wednesday's Banner-News article By MIKE McNEILL Managing Editor [http://epaper.wehco.com/Daily/Skins/Magnolia/]
~~~~~
Rail-chemical security upgrades welcomed
Chemical industry leaders applauded measures from the Department of Homeland Security designed to protect rail shipments of chemicals against terrorist attacks. The measures will "build upon the significant efforts already undertaken by our member companies to protect chemical shipments and the nation," said Cal Dooley, president of the American Chemistry Council. ICIS news [http://www.icis.com/Articles/2008/11/14/9171856/us-chemicals-welcome-new-rail-security-rules.html]
~~~~~
http://cmdmedia.wordpress.com/2008/11/24/report-says-linden-chemical-facility-is-among-nation%e2%80%99s-most-dangerous/
~~~~~
Here’s the latest news from “Master’s Hands” - - Dear Friends and Family. Hello from Tanzania! This year seems to be flying by! We’ve been so busy that we don’t even realize months have passed since we sent out a newsletter.
The Bible school is well into its second semester now and I am staying busy teaching. In addition to the Bible school, we have started a cell group as part of our church. Wonderful things are happening there with people getting saved, healed and filled with the Holy Spirit. Cell group is usually a highlight of the week for me as I wait to see what God will do this week! He is so good!
SOME SURPRISING NEWS For about a year now, Brandt and I have both felt the Lord leading us to return to Congo where we first worked. But because we’re so happy here in Arusha, it has been a hard decision to make. The Lord has been gracious and patient with us and we now know for sure it is His will that we go back to Congo. We are not leaving Tanzania because of any problems but because of a clear leading from the Lord. Congo will be a challenge for me personally because I had gotten used to no longer living in survival mode. My favorite thing about Arusha is the butchery-because I don’t have to find and kill my own meat! Life is going to be different, that’s for sure. Please join your faith with us as we make this transition back to Congo next year as funds become available.
Two weeks ago Brandt took a small team from America to Congo for a ministry trip and over 200 people were born again through door to door evangelism and outdoor meetings. The harvest truly is ripe there and we’re excited for the future.
The boys are growing up of course and Benji is at the stage of getting into mischief. Earlier this month, he put a tent pole in his mouth and then fell on it, puncturing his throat. Thank God that he survived that one! He has bruises and scrapes worse than the other two boys ever did and some days I feel like I need a tranquilizer to get through the day! Please pray for all the boys’ safety and well being as they are indeed boys and seem to find trouble without looking for it!
Thank you so much for keeping us in your heart and prayers. Thank-you to those of you who support us financially. We know the U.S. financial system is difficult right now and we don’t take it lightly that you believe in us. You are in our prayers as well.
For financial support:
Please make checks payable to AMA and mail to: Agape Missionary Alliance, P.O. Box 22007, Little Rock, AR 72221. Write PRINCE on the memo line.
Joyfully,
Brandt, Pam, Austin, Ty and Benji.
~~~~~
http://blog.waterbrookchurch.org/
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Luis Fonseca - - Hometown: Fayetteville, NC - - Awarded: Navy Cross
HA Luis Fonseca, from the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Brigade’s Task Force Tarawa, was awarded the Navy Cross for bravery during the battle of Al-Nasiriyah, Iraq, on March 23, 2003.
On that day, Fonseca was a hospitalman apprentice on his first combat deployment with the U.S. Marines. His unit, Company A, 1st Platoon, was attached to the 2nd MEB’s 1st Battalion, Company C, 1st Platoon, which was tasked with capturing and holding the northernmost of Al-Nasiriyah’s three main bridges.
As the unit’s corpsman, Fonseca was aboard an amphibious assault vehicle, or amtrack, reserved for evacuating battle casualties quickly to the rear.
“I was supposed to stay back,” away from the fighting, Fonseca said in a telephone interview from Al Asad, Iraq, where he was on his third deployment (Iraq, Afghanistan, Iraq) in three years.
The Marines took the northern bridge at about 11:30 a.m., and almost immediately started taking rocket-propelled grenade and mortar fire, Fonseca said. Within moments, a call came over the radio reporting that an amtrack had received a direct hit with an RPG, wounding five Marines.
Grabbing his bag of medical supplies, Fonseca jumped from his track and raced to assess the condition of wounded Marines who had been pulled from the smoking vehicle and laid out on the ground by their comrades.
Without concern for his own safety, Fonseca calmly and methodically stabilized two casualties with lower limb amputations. He continued to treat and care for others who were wounded and awaiting evacuation until his vehicle was immobilized by enemy direct and indirect fire. Under enemy fire, he directed the movement of four wounded Marines and personally carried one critically wounded Marine over open ground to another location. All five Marines survived.
Fonseca was awarded the Navy Cross August 2004 at Camp Lejeune, N.C.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
If you care about showing the love of Christ to the world, you need to read this.

Bug
~
Greetings,

I'm in Afghanistan. It's cold. I should be in Kandahar tomorrow. Please read "Happy Ending" below for an interesting story. Published: 19 November 2008

Between 2007 and 2008, I got to know a man in South Baghdad whose codename was "Bishop." This is the short story of his life.

His parents were Kurdish Sunnis. They moved to Baghdad 34 years ago – recently married and excited to make a new life for themselves and create a family. Bishop's real name was Bashar Akram Ameen; the name given to him when he was born on October 6, 1978 in the Abu Ghraib apartments in Baghdad. Bashar had three sisters and one brother. His schooling included graduating from a Baghdad high school in the class of '96 and attending the Agriculture College of Baghdad University from 1997 until 2002 when he graduated. America had just set its sights on toppling Saddam.

Shortly after graduating, Bashar began service in the Iraqi Army Reserve, but that lasted only three months, because the U.S. crushed a great part of the Iraqi Army and then officially dissolved the rest. For three months, Bashar was one of those unemployed young men we worried about. He got a job in October of 2003 as a bodyguard for an Iraqi judge. His first job didn't last long because insurgents assassinated the judge. Feeling lost and a bit frightened, Bashar decided to look for a "safer" job, and began interpreting for, as he called it, "the Sally Port Security Company" in al-Mansour, Baghdad. Insurgents in his neighborhood figured out that he was working for an American company, and on February 21, 2006, as he left his job at 6:00 pm, they started shooting at him in his car, "…but I miraculously survived," Bashar explained to me, "and that was the reason to leave my job at that company."

His own safety, and therefore that of his loved ones, was in jeopardy, and so, as Bashar recalled, "I quit visiting my family for over four months." Though he had used caution, his family was forced to flee in order to avoid imminent suffering or death from the insurgents. Bashar explained, "They had killed our neighbor's son, so their father gave the key of his house to my father to keep the house safe until maybe the situation getting better. Then, on the next day, the same killers of our neighbors came to my father and asked him about the key, so he refused to give it away and he said that he don't have it and he don't know anything about it." The insurgents warned Bashar's father that they would check the validity of his information, and if it was untrue, "they will teach my father and us a lesson." His family, doing what they must to survive, reluctantly left their home. Bashar wrote to me, "My father packed some basic stuff and moved from our own house in Ameriya, Baghdad; Iraq."

By now, the civil war was raging in Baghdad.

Not everything was so bleak. Even at the height of the civil war, life went on. Bashar met a woman named Alyaa, who worked in legal administration at the "Sally Port Security Company." They courted for a year, and got married on September 14, 2006 – all the while, sectarian violence raged around Iraq. A year later their first son, Mustafa, was born. Around that time, however, the local Shia militia (called Jaish al-Mahdi, or JAM) figured out that Bashar, who is Sunni, had worked for the Americans at Forward Operating Base (FOB) Falcon (where he got the codename "Bishop"). "They began coming around to bother my wife while I was at work," he recalls. "So we moved again to live in al-Mansour, Baghdad. And since then, I stopped making any type of relationships with the neighbors just because you can't trust anybody. In al-Mansour, we had very quiet time…."

And so Bashar began working for the American Army as an interpreter, for various units, at the time of peak fighting. I first met Bishop when he worked for 1-4 Cav in South Baghdad. The 1-4 Cav soldiers kept Bishop busy, working him hard, and he became one of the team. As the months rolled by and I came back to 1-4 on several occasions, their area had become quieter and quieter until, really, there was nothing going on except progress. The younger infantrymen were proud of the progress, but wanted to get up to Mosul or out to Afghanistan, where the fighting was. But not Bishop. He'd seen the worst of it and did not want to see any more war. He was old beyond his years and wanted peace.

The two most dangerous jobs for Iraqis were probably journalist and interpreter. Bishop wanted to come to the United States. As a result, 1-4 Cav Commander, LTC James Crider, and some of the soldiers Bishop had worked with helped with the paperwork.

Just a small aside: LTC Crider and his battalion were serious contributors to success in Iraq. I got e-mails from LTC Crider about his struggles with Iraqi bureaucracy on behalf of Bishop, even after he went home to America. I'd seen this LTC Crider go to bat for Iraqis over and over again in Iraq. In just one example, Crider and his staff waded for months through the Iraqi legal labyrinth to try to free a man who had been wrongfully detained for a bombing he could not have committed; the bombing had never occurred. Crider and his battalion were welcome fixtures in that neighborhood, because he and his men had brought peace and serenity to a place that had previously been one of the most perilous places in Iraq. The last time I was there, I walked around with no body armor or helmet, and bought popcorn on the street. (I was just there again on about November 15; the progress continues without violence.)

I heard that many Iraqis cried when 1-4 redeployed to America. One captain had even been offered a home if he would come back to live in the neighborhood. The captain knew how to get things done, while still making the time to learn the names of every kid there. And he knew their mothers and fathers, too. But that was it; 1-4 went home and Bishop was left behind, with his family scattered by the war.

His father died in July 2007, his mother and two sisters still live in Baghdad, his brother in Kirkuk, and another sister in Syria.

LTC Crider and others struggled…and struggled…and finally succeeded. On November 6, 2008, Bishop emigrated to America, landing in [Nashville], Tennessee along with his wife, Alyaa (who is carrying their second child), and their son, Mustafa. And the amazing 1-4 Cav keeps winning battles, without firing a shot, long after leaving the war.

So now, Bashar is no longer "Bishop," and he has begun an American life, with the many ups and downs we all have to face. His next fight is to find a job in our troubled economy and overcome a high-voltage dose of culture shock. He will come to understand that our culture is just as complicated as the one he left behind – but without the violence, threats and scars of war.

Many people have welcomed him to America. I think Bashar can be of particular value to America at this time, simply by getting on the radio stations and talking to reporters and telling his story – the story of Iraq – and showing people how it really is over here. (I write this from Iraq.) Perhaps he can explain why many of us think that it was all worth it. I asked Bashar if I could publish his e-mail address, and he agreed.

This is not just a happy ending, but a happy beginning. Please welcome this new family to America and pass this story to your local papers and radio stations. Ask them to talk with a real Iraqi who just got here. People need to know what happened in Iraq.

Bashar can be reached at: bash.amen@yahoo.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Please support this mission by making a direct contribution [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php?option=com_dtdonate&Itemid=117]. Without your support, the mission will end. Thank you for helping me tell the full story of the struggle for Iraq and Afghanistan.
~
Happy Thanksgiving from Zabul Province, Afghanistan.

The Taliban seem to be mostly afraid of American soldiers. They do attack U.S. and inflict damage, but all around I hear from Afghans and U.S. soldiers that the Taliban are mostly trying to avoid contact with U.S., while focusing attacks mostly on Afghans. Some people see the Taliban as courageous, but I am seeing more and more that they use cowardly tactics, often hiding behind women and children.

I am tonight in Zabul Province and have been out with New York National Guard. Their morale is high and they think they are winning the fight, despite the long series of frustrations that come with the terrain of war. Especially in Afghanistan.

Our cell phones are not working tonight; the Taliban forces cell phone operators to turn off the towers at night. The Taliban are afraid of being tracked, and are afraid the Americans will interrupt their sleep. The cell towers are cut off from 5:30 PM to 7:00 AM. An American captain told me that one group of operators decided to turn off the system late one night, so the Taliban came, killed one man, and tortured two others.

On an interesting side, Americans and Afghans are giving very high marks to the Lithuanian Special Forces who operate here. They are less impressed with Romanians; Afghans and Americans say the Romanians are afraid of the Taliban, but that the Lithuanians are having a field day chasing and killing Taliban.

On the Iraq front, please read Down with Barriers, Up with Iraq. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/down-with-barriers-up-with-iraq.htm]

The Iraq war is over, but the Afghan playoffs will begin in 2009. This fight is just getting started. Please send lots of Marines, and lots of training teams for the Afghan Army and police.

V/R,Your correspondent,
Michael
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Christmas will be coming soon and we encourage you to remember our U.S. Service men and women. If you know a service person, send them a card and/or a letter.
Thank them for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
Over the Last Two Weeks we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Indiana Jones/Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) [7.5] Starring Harrison Ford ... Karen Allen ... Shia LaBeouf ... John Hurt
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) [7.0] Starring Matt Lanter ... Corey Burton ... Samuel L. Jackson
The Petrified Forest (1936) [7.4] Starring Leslie Howard ... Bette Davis ... Humphrey Bogart
Penelope (2006) [7.0] Starring Christina Ricci ... Reese Witherspoon
The Nanny Diaries (2007) [6.6] Starring Scarlett Johansson ... Alicia Keys
Miss Potter (2006) [9.0] Starring Renée Zellweger ... Ewan McGregor ... Emily Watson
The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) [6.4] Starring Maurice Chevalier ... Claudette Colbert ... Charles Ruggles
Guess Who (2005) [6.0] Starring Bernie Mac ... Ashton Kutcher
Desk Set (1957) [9.0] Starring Spencer Tracy ... Katharine Hepburn ... Gig Young ... Joan Blondell ... Dina Merrill
~~~~~
Over the Last Two Weeks we read; They marched into sunlight : war and peace, Vietnam and America, October 1967 / David Maraniss. - - Foreign body / Robin Cook. - - The Faith: Chuck Colson - - Ender in exile / Orson Scott Card - - "Down by the River," Charles Bowden
We’re currently reading; Nothing to lose / Lee Child - - Exodus / Exodo words by Charles Bowden, photographs by Julian Cardona
We intend to read; - - The shadow of Reichenbach Falls / John R. King. - - In a strange city / Laura Lippman. - - The faithful spy : a novel / Alex Berenson. - - Breathing the Fire by Kimberly Dozier
We recommend: The Faith: Chuck Colson - - "Down by the River," Charles Bowden may be a difficult book to read but should be required reading for all voters, ...
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include; Josiah and Ethan in “Church Clothes”, Ricky Shepherd hosts “Finish That Tune” at the annual DMAT Pot Luck, AR-1 members enjoy the entertainment, shots of deluge systems.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat3q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Speaking of thankful, here's Annette's famous "Slayer Pie" (Chocolate Mousse Pie) recipe
Ingredients Crust:
3 cups Oreo cookies (23 cookies)
½ cup melted unsalted butter
Filling:
1 pound semi-sweet chocolate
2 eggs
4 egg yolks
2 cups heavy cream
6 Tablespoons confectioner's sugar
4 egg whites
For Crust: Combine the cookie crumbs and the butter and press on the bottom and sides of a spring form pan. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
For Filling: Melt the chocolate in a double boiler. Add the whole eggs and mix thoroughly, then add the egg yolks to the mixture and continue to blend. Whip the heavy cream and add confectioner's sugar. In another bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff but not dry. Stir the chocolate mixture, the whipped cream, and the egg whites together and pour on top of the crust in the spring form pan. Refrigerate for six hours or more.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Return to Narnia
By Mark Earley
11/28/2008
Get Ready for Prince Caspian
Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

Next week—just in time for Christmas shopping—the DVD version of Prince Caspian will hit the stores. And whether you’re a parent introducing your kids to Narnia for the first time, or whether you’re looking for an excuse to recapture the magical wonder your childhood, now is a good time to dust off a printed copy of the second of C. S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian.

While you won’t find the spiritual lessons in Prince Caspian quite as obvious as those you remember from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, you will find plenty of profound truths about the Christian faith—delivered in a way that only Lewis could do.

The saga of Prince Caspian unfolds in a world hundreds of years removed from the Narnia of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. In this age into which the Pevensie children are suddenly thrust, the evil King Miraz reigns and only a remnant of people actually believe those childish stories of Aslan, the Stone Table, and a time when animals talked.

Like Lucy, Edmund, Susan, and Peter, we enter a world of skepticism that is very much like our own. Let’s just say that the best-selling books in Miraz’s kingdom could easily have been titled The Aslan Delusion and Aslan Is Not Great. Like our children, young Caspian grows up in an age when most people say, “Who actually believes in Aslan nowadays?”

As in the previous stories of Narnia, a cosmic battle between good and evil continues to rage. But unlike the direct head-to-head conflict between Aslan and the White Witch, the conflict in Prince Caspian is being waged between the followers of the opposing powers. On this cosmic stage, individual faith is tested. Will Prince Caspian believe in the stories of Narnia? Will Lucy follow what she believes to be Aslan?

Here is something with which Christians today can certainly relate. It is one thing to be among the first witnesses who exult in the risen Christ. It is quite another to act out of faith when the stories of His witnesses are so many centuries removed from our world. As Jesus told doubting Thomas, “Blessed are those who have not seen, and yet have believed” (John 20:29). This is our world, and this is the world of Caspian, as well.

In this tale, as much as we learn about faith and doubt, there is also much to learn about the nature of Jesus. As Leland Ryken and Marjorie Mead put in the newly released, A Reader’s Guide to Caspian, what Aslan is like is the “primary theological question of Prince Caspian.” And in it we find several answers that apply to our own Christian walk.

After not seeing Aslan for a long time, when the children are finally reunited, Lewis tells us that the children “felt as glad as anyone can who feels afraid, and as afraid as anyone can who feels glad.”

I do not have time to share all the riches to be gleaned from reading or re-reading Prince Caspian. So whether it is for your own spiritual growth or that of your children’s, or simply being prepared to talk about the deeper spiritual themes with a friend, use the impending release of the film as a reason to return to Narnia. I promise, you will be glad you did.

A version of this commentary first aired on April 7, 2008.

Please help the prison ministry of Prison Fellowship and the worldview ministry of BreakPoint with a generous tax-deductible gift to help us continue strong this year.

For Further Reading and Information

C. S. Lewis, Prince Caspian (HarperTrophy, 1994).

C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Harper Collins, 2005).

Be sure to check out C. S. Lewis’s entire collection: The Chronicles of Narnia.

Leland Ryken and Marjorie Mead, A Reader’s Guide to Caspian: A Journey into C. S. Lewis’ Narnia (InterVarsity, 2008).

Gene Veith, The Soul of Prince Caspian: Exploring Spiritual Truth in the Land of Narnia (David C. Cook Distribution, 2008).

Devin Brown, Inside Prince Caspian (Baker Books, 2008).

Andrew Clausen, Prince Caspian Study Guide (Progeny Press, 2003).

Christin Ditchfield, A Family Guide to Prince Caspian (Crossway, 2008).

Also check out the official website for Disney’s Prince Caspian.

Gina R. Dalfonzo, “The Pre-Baptism of the Imagination: Narnia in a Secular Culture,” BreakPoint WorldView, November 2005.

Bill McGrath, “A Fantastic Appeal: How Christians Can Use Fantasy Stories,” BreakPoint Online, 11 January 2008.

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (Touchstone, 1996).

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
There are a couple of dozen "McClellan's Rules" that we've discovered over the last half century. Such as;
"When dealing with people, never forget that people don't change. And never, ever expect people to stay the same."
"Work Rule One - The boss is always right. Work Rule Two - When the boss is wrong, see rule one."
"Just because you have no earthly idea what's going on, doesn't mean that someone else does."
"No one should be allowed to vote unless they were compelled to write the government a check within the last twelve months."
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
frowzy: habitually unkempt
adduce: produce evidence for
adulterate: to make impure
affectation: exaggerated display; pretense
eminence grise: powerful person
amatory: expressing love
Lucullan: profusely extravagant
nabob: wealthy person
escutcheon: a shield or decorative covering
guerdon: reward or payment
reprobate: someone without scruples
emollient: cream or something which softens
cadence: recurrent rhythm
eminent: above others in quality, position
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
Anonymous Quotes (From the ARNS Bulletin -- David M. Barton, AF6S, Editor)
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.
An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.
Some churches welcome all denominations, but most prefer fives and tens.
My karma ran over your dogma.
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average.
~~~~~
"If we would pause to think, we would have cause to thank" – Norma Kay Rowe

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Halftimes take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence." – Erma Bombeck,

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." --Harry S. Truman, 33rd U.S. president

It's not your salary that makes you rich, it's your spending habits." --Charles A. Jaffe

Fortune befriends the bold." --John Dryden, English poet, literary critic and playwright

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger." --Frank Lloyd Wright

Patience is the companion of wisdom." --St. Augustine

"We're all of us guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress." - Tennessee Williams

"The artist must be in his work like God in his Creation, invisible and all-powerful, so that he is felt everywhere but not seen." - Gustave Flaubert

"Sigmund Freud was once asked to describe the characteristics of maturity, and he replied: lieben un arbeiten ('loving and working'). The mature adult is one who can love and allow himself or herself to be loved and who can work productively, meaningfully, and with satisfaction." - David Elkind

"God made integers, all else is the work of man." - Leopold Kronecker

"We know that a man can read Goethe or Rilke in the evening, that he can play Bach and Schubert, and go to his day's work at Auschwitz in the morning." - George Steiner

"I think that today's youth have a tendency to live in the present and work for the future---and to be totally ignorant of the past." - Steven Spielberg

"Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?" - T. S. Eliot

"The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom, but to set a limit to infinite error." - Bertolt Brecht

"God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed; Give us the courage to change what should be changed; Give us the wisdom to distinguish one from the other." - Reinhold Niebuhr

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." - Thomas Szasz

"Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone." - Charles de Gaulle

"Never trust the artist. Trust the tale. The proper function of the critic is to save the tale from the artist who created it." - D. H. Lawrence

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero. Seize the day, trust not to the morrow." - Horace
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

"Master Greeter" Sees Churches Grow by Reaching Out to Visitors
Teresa Neumann (November 23, 2008)
"The visitor is sent to you by God and they want friendship...they want to find out about a friendly God. It's about changing a stranger to a friend. Being a friend to new people opens them up to hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ."
(Vancouver, Washington)—Rich Liedtke is a master "greeter" who believes greeting people coming to church is much more than shaking someone's hand and saying "hello."

"It's about making people feel important and feel at home," said Liedtke, who is the founder of Master Greeter ministry and author of the book, How to be a Master Greeter. (File Photo)

"The visitor is sent to you by God and they want friendship," he adds. "Most importantly, they want to find out about a friendly God, and the more friendly they feel you are, the more likely they will come back."

His book has sold 13,500 copies and has reportedly been sent out to nearly 3,000 churches worldwide. He holds seminars on the subject and has a website by the same name.

According to a report in Christian News Northwest (CNNW) the way Liedtke establishes a friendship with the person is to learn their name, not just for that Sunday, but every time that person comes back.

Liedtke is quoted as saying the most meaningful part of the Master Greeter ministry has been watching how churches have changed after using his greeting methods.
"It's about changing a stranger to a friend," he concludes. "Being a friend to new people opens them up to hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ."
Source: Megan Parks - Christian Northwest News [http://www.cnnw.com/NOvember2008.html]
~
Celebrating Thanksgiving Like Jesus
by Teresa Neumann - Op/ed : Nov 27, 2008 : Breaking Christian News

This season, He is our comfort food.

We all know the story of the Pilgrims giving thanks to God after surviving their horrific first winter in New England. But, I wonder, why did the people responsible for instituting the Thanksgiving holiday in America select Thursday as the day to celebrate it? Could they have had Maundy Thursday in mind; the church "high day" commemorating Christ's Last Supper? Whether or not that was the case, there are powerful applications and similarities between Jesus and the dinner He shared with His disciples and the dinner we Christians will be sharing with our friends and families this week. (Last Supper by da Vinci - Wikipedia)

Most of us come into this holiday season fatigued, or apprehensive about the future, or with any other number of personal issues. Some may still be grieving the loss of a loved one, whether by death or divorce. For them, Thanksgiving may seem a cruel test of their faith. Others, isolated by age or health restrictions, will have their loneliness greatly, painfully magnified. For whatever reason, the holidays somehow cause us to focus inward, and therein lies the rub. There, in our vulnerable minds, lurks that lying voice of the tormenter telling us we're unloved, or alone, or washed-up, or...pick your poison.

I'm sure Jesus heard those voices too. He did in the desert when He was tempted after 40 days of fasting. If ever there was a time in Jesus' life when fear came rushing in like a stealth bomber on a secret mission to search and destroy, it was that night He was arrested after sweating blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew full well what the following day would bring, and yet, at the dinner table—flanked by weak friends, some of whom would betray and deny Him in short order—[He] "took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them." (Luke 22:19). Later, he even washed their feet, telling them "I am among you as One who serves." (Luke 22:27).

Take comfort and courage then, my Breaking Christian News friends, as we enter this beautiful and extremely sensitive season. I know it's easier said than done, but Jesus led the way for us. We may not know what tomorrow holds for us, but it couldn't be worse than what Jesus faced. If He could receive power from God to overcome the obstacles facing Him, to the point that He could serve His friends and give thanks to His Father, in the face of the sacrifice of the Cross He was about to bear, then I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever we can access that same grace as well. And who knows but that surrender to such grace will not only strengthen us for the race we run, but give us unsurpassing peace and joy.

May that joy be yours this Thanksgiving.
~
Study: Want to be Happier? Be More Grateful!
by Press Release : Nov 28, 2008 : Kent State University/EurekAlert
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-11/ksu-swt112508.php
"We are all walking around with an amazing resource: gratitude."

REPORTER'S NOTE: Although the following report is not Christian, the concept of physical and emotional benefits being derived from a heart of gratefulness is Biblical. To get a grasp of the spiritual implications for us, in reading this report, I would substitute the name of the Holy Spirit for the word "pen," God's name for the term "social network," and so on. You'll get the picture! -Teresa Neumann

Want to quickly improve your happiness and satisfaction with life? Then the pen may be a mighty weapon, according to research done by Kent State University's Dr. Steven Toepfer, an assistant professor of family and consumer studies at university's Salem Campus.

"Everyone is pursuing the American dream. We are wealthier than previous generations, consuming more and experiencing more, but yet so many of us are so unhappy," Toepfer says. "The question of 'is there something simple we can do to be happier?' is one that I have been thinking about for many years and one that has interested people for much longer."

With that question in mind, Toepfer enlisted students from six courses to explore the effects of writing letters of gratitude to people who had positively impacted the students' lives. Over the course of a six-week period, students wrote one letter every two weeks with the simple ground rules that it had to be positively expressive, required some insight and reflection, were nontrivial and contained a high level of appreciation or gratitude.

After each letter, students completed a survey to gauge their moods, satisfaction with life and feelings of gratitude and happiness.

"I saw their happiness increase after each letter, meaning the more they wrote, the better they felt," says Toepfer, who also witnessed improvement in participants' life satisfaction and gratitude throughout the study. "The most powerful thing in our lives is our social network. It doesn't have to be large, and you don't always need to be the life of the party, but just having one or two significant connections in your life has shown to have terrific psychological and physical benefits."

In all, 75 percent of the students said they planned to continue to write letters of gratitude even when the course was over.

Studies demonstrate, according to Toepfer, that practicing expressive writing is often associated with fewer health problems, decreased depression, an improved immune system and improved grades.

"We are all walking around with an amazing resource: gratitude," says Toepfer. "It helps us express and enjoy, appreciate, be thankful and satisfied with a little effort. We all have it, and we need to use it to improve our quality of life."

Source: Kent State University/EurekAlert [http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-11/ksu-swt112508.php]

Breaking Christian News | 310 2nd Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97321 | Phone: (541)928-2642 | Email: editor@breakingchristiannews.com

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Albany, Oregon 97321
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><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: I am Thankful.....

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Diane) -Tom
-----------------------------------------------
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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...for the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.

...for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

...for my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

...for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

...for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.

...for the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

...for the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

...for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

...for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

...for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive.

...for getting too much e-mail because it lets me know I have friends who are thinking of me.

_ _____________________________________ _

GCF: Grandfather Turkey

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Claudia) -Tom
-------------------------------------------------

Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey scolded her younger birds. "You turkeys are always into mischief," she gobbled. "If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd turn over in his gravy."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: How to Cook a Thanksgiving Turkey

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Barney) -Tom
-------------------------------------------------

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: College Students and Thanksgiving

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Andrew) -Tom
-------------------------------------------------

The Top Ten Reasons College Students Are Looking Forward To Thanksgiving Break and Going Home for the Holidays:

10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.

9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper.

8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.

7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.

6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell ... okay, even if it is for only four days.

5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall ... in below freezing weather.

4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching here ..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your age ..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Heck, all we could afford was the sprout!"

3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave.

2. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.

And, the number one reason college students are looking forward to Thanksgiving...

1. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: School Days

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Charlotte) -Tom
-------------------------------------------------

Tommy had reached school age. His Mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet and so on. Came the first day, he eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.

Next morning when she woke him up, he asked "What for ?" She told him it was time to get ready for school.

"What, again ?" he asked.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Mr. Schwartz

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
-------------------------------------------------

Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".

Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.

He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX', but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..."

Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Potato Salad

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------

On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad.

"We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped.

"Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.

I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Cake Question

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
-------------------------------------------------

While working at Baskin-Robbins, I helped a woman, who was full of questions about the flavors and types available, pick out an ice-cream cake.

As I was boxing it up for her, she had one last question:

"How long do I bake this?"
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ When;do;you;use;semi;colons? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I'm not aging, \ /
\ _/ I just need re-potting. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do they put \ /
\ _/ expiration dates on sour cream? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ "Intelligence may be artificial, \_ /
/ / but stupidity is real." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / One of the advantages of a \ /
\ _/ clean life is that you can \_ /
/ / distinguish between \ \
the flu and a hangover.
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I don't repeat gossip, \ /
\ _/ so listen carefully. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / How is it that we put man on \ \_/ ////
\ / the moon before we figured out \ /
\ _/ it would be a good idea \_ /
/ / to put wheels on luggage? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / There are people so addicted \ /
\ _/ to exaggeration that they can't \_ /
/ / tell the truth without lying. \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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'LIFE' THOUGHTS"

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? (No Kidding)
Wouldn't you know it.... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year: 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier' Amen to that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Thanks to Bob Stevens
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Remember Great-Grandpa Joe?

The family all knew the story of Grandpa's ne'er-do-well father, the one who was hung as a horse thief after escaping from prison, where he wound up after robbing a bank and a train. They couldn't leave him out of the family history, but they could and did put some spin on the story.

The "official" family version of his demise went something like this:

"Joseph James was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. He spent a period of time on the fast track with Wells Fargo. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets. He devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with other equestrian entrepreneurs. Joe James passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

Thanks To Waneta
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THOSE TEXAS GIRLS

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a Woman from Iowa and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Illinois .. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Texas . He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, and the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Thanks to Waneta
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At the Inn...

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading, "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted.

"Could I have a pint of ale?"

"No!" she shouted.

"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"

"No!" she shouted again.

The vagabond said, "Might I please..."

"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.

"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Heated Up!

An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest. No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin was unlocked and they entered.

It was a simple place -- two rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment. Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove. It was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron. What was strange about it was its location: it was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams.

"Fascinating," said the psychologist. "It is obvious that this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously experience a return to the womb."

"Nonsense!" replied the engineer. "The man is practicing the laws of thermodynamics. By elevating his stove, he has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly throughout the cabin."

"With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I'm sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious meaning. Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for centuries."

The three debated the point for several hours without resolving the issue.

When the trapper finally returned, they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-bellied stove from the ceiling.

His answer was succinct. "Had plenty of wire, not much stove pipe."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

The I.D. Pun Tragedy

I was somewhere in the South, driving a little over the speed limit, when a police officer pulled me over. A big, burly trooper who looked like Sheriff Buford T. Justice from the Smokey and the Bandit movies approached my window and asked, "You got any I.D.?"

I asked him, "About what?"

Received from Travis Hayes.

(-:][:-)

Burp

Several years ago my family and I were at our attorney's office to sign some papers. While we were waiting, the secretary offered us soft drinks. After a while my son, about five or six years old, burped rather loudly.

"What do you say?" my wife scolded him.

"I'm not finished yet," was his reply. After he burped again, he excused himself.

Received from Darrell Crawford.

(-:][:-)

Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10-year-old child you know nothing about and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project was downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time.

I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend.

I am still mad at the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole house that worked, thus the assignment.

I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wednesday evening and to reheat Thursday morning. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams latex paint #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for five hours.

After three hours, Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning about an hour later. An hour after that, the rolls were ready to go into the oven.

It was 8:30 p.m. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock, one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper, and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. Even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK; however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every two hours for the rest of the night.

Who knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed, the dog was black, white, and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

Naively thinking the dog would be all better by morning was very stupid on my part.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing, we put the dog out to take care of his business. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his rear. Most of the time when he was walking, his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard, he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.

His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk.

He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about four or five hours. He then told me to keep giving the dog Pepto Bismol.

Afraid to leave Jasper by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.

My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch (a 10- to 15-minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and me, we took off.

Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it.

Now he was beginning to pass gas and it smelled like baked rolls. We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's. We were thankful she didn't live any farther away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, "What goes in must come out," and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house.

Having discovered his "packages" on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.

This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor, and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.

We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely, so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal, both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear, I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found two risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.

It appears he must have come to his senses after eating ten of them but decided hiding two of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer: "How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet."

And how was your day?

~Author Unknown~

Received from Larry.

(-:][:-)

Stress Relief

As an assistant professor, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would usually take a break around eight, however, to play the strategy game Warcraft online with a teammate.

One night I was paired with a veteran of the game who was a master strategist. With him at the helm, our troops crushed one opponent after another, and after six games we were undefeated. Suddenly, my fearless leader informed me that his mom wanted him to go to bed.

"How old are you?" I typed.

"Twelve," he replied. "How old are you?"

Feeling my face redden, I answered, "Ten."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Fore!

My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?"

"Five," answered the nephew.

"Okay," my brother said, "let's go."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

J. C. Penney

A man is standing on a street corner, waiting for a bus, when a young man walks by. The man says, "I like your shirt! Where did you get it?" The young man replies, "J. C. Penney."

A few moments later, another teenager runs by. The man says, "Those are really cool shoes! where did you get them?" The teen replies, "J. C. Penney."

Just minutes later, another strolls by. The man says, "Those are awesome shoes, and I like your hat. Where did you get them?" The boy replies, "J. C. Penney."

The man is very curious by now. But then, a teen runs by in nothing but underwear. The man is taken by surprise and questions, "What happened to you?"

The guy replies, "I'M J. C. PENNEY!!!"

Received from nisha.

(-:][:-)

Bank Name

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something "practical" for her birthday.

"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" Mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.

"It's your account, darling," Mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."

Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank." After a slight hesitation, she put down "Piggy."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Accident Report

So how did you get in a fight after having an accident?

Well, my day started out terribly. On my way to work, I rear-ended the car in front of me. The driver got out, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy!"

I said, "Well, then, which one ARE you?"

Received from Dave Stieglitz.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/mslegalpersonhol.html - - MS. LEGAL PERSON ANSWERS YOUR HOLIDAY QUESTIONS

Ms. Legal Person returns by popular demand with advice for the holiday season. "Your free help was worth every penny," wrote one satisfied reader. "Do you have malpractice insurance?" wrote ... oops, wrong letter.

Okay, enough with the accolades and on with your questions.

Q: I just got a Christmas card from somebody I hate. And another from someone I don't even know. Do I have to reciprocate?

A: Yes. You're required to send a card within ten days. Otherwise, you can be imprisoned pursuant to the Hallmark Profits Enhancement Act.

Q: Don't I have any other option?

A: Yes. Try a mutual fund with greeting card stocks.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Q: I made a Christmas wreath out of eucalyptus leaves, berry sprigs, muslin, yarn and colorful votive candles.

A: Very nice, but how can I help you?

Q: Well, it looked great for a couple of days. Then it caught fire and destroyed everything I own.

A: I'm sorry to hear that. Next time you might consider using pine cones and potpourri.

Q: That sounds just lovely. But what I really want to know is, can I hold Martha Stewart liable?

A: Probably not, though you should ask for a subscription refund.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: They hung mistletoe in my office, and I'm highly offended.

A: Why?

Q: It's sexual harassment.

A: I see. Has anyone ever kissed you while you were standing under the mistletoe?

Q: No.

A: What about when you weren't standing under the mistletoe.

Q: Certainly not.

A: That's what I thought.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Every year I get stuck doing all shopping, cooking, cleaning, and gift wrapping, while my husband watches football and plays with the kids' new computer game.

A: Ooooooh, which game?

Q: QIN: Tomb of the... Wait, I don't want to talk about computer games; I want a divorce.

A: Then I'll need to know more. Does he help trim the tree or take care of the liquor?

Q: Oh, he takes care of the liquor all right.

A: Any other problems?

Q: Yes. Within hours he's broken half the gifts, and he makes me return them on the 26th.

A: Are malls involved?

Q: Yes, of course.

A: Sounds like cruel and inhuman treatment to me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Q: My birthday falls right before Christmas and I always get short-changed. Do I have any legal recourse?

A: You suffer from Badly Timed Birthday Syndrome. Fortunately, last year's Anti-Discrimination and Mental Health Care Reform Bill included the Birthday Rehabilitation Act. It allows you to petition any federal judge to modify your birthday by no more than 30 days.

Q: That's great news!

A: You need only prove that your birthday coincides with a key holiday, causing pain and suffering and depriving you of your fair share of attention and gifts.

Q: Wow! Can I also modify my birth year?

A: How old are you?

Q: 37.

A: I'm afraid not. But you're free to lie like everyone else.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Every year our best friends invite us over for New Year's brunch and make us watch home videos and help dismantle their Christmas tree.

A: Ah ha! Tortious Invitatious Falsious Pretentious.

Q: That sounds serious. What can we do?

A: Bring your own home videos and last year's fruit cake.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: My in-laws came for Christmas last year and didn't leave until July. What do you recommend?

A: Move and don't leave a forwarding address.

Q: It's too late for that. Any other suggestions?

A: Hire a bouncer, file suit in Landlord/Tenant Court or ...

Q: Or what?

Q: Play an endless loop of "Little Drummer Boy."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: I want to sue Santa and I need your help.

A: You may have jurisdictional problems. Most process servers refuse to go to the North Pole.

Q: But this is important. Poor Chrissy's been devastated ever since Santa refused to let her sit on his lap.

A: That's terrible.

Q: She hasn't barked or wagged her little tail in a week.

A: Chrissy's a dog?

Q: Right and my Jeannie's still hysterical from the beard incident.

A: Beard incident? Is Jeannie a dog too?

Q: Of course not. She's a three year old who lost her faith in Santa Claus when his beard got loose and landed on her head. Now she thinks Santa isn't real.

A: Santa isn't real.

Q: Oh.

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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IT DEPENDS, WHOSE HANDS................

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19.
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.
A baseball in Roger Clemens' hands is worth $475 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands.
A tennis racket in Andre Agassi's hands is worth millions.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away an angry dog.
A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A slingshot in my hands is a kid's toy.
A slingshot in David's hand is a mighty weapon.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish
sandwiches.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in Jesus' hands will feed thousands.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will
Produce salvation for the entire world.
It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now, it depends whose hands it's in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams,
your families and your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends whose hands it's in.
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Bad bosses may damage your heart Inconsiderate bosses not only make work stressful, they may also increase the risk of heart disease for their employees, experts believe.
A Swedish team found a strong link between poor leadership and the risk of serious heart disease and heart attacks among more than 3,000 employed men.
And the effect may be cumulative - the risk went up the longer an employee worked for the same company.
The study is published in Occupational and Environmental Medicine.
Stressful environment
Experts said that feeling undervalued and unsupported at work can cause stress, which often fosters unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking, that can lead to heart disease.
Previous work has shown that unfair bosses can drive up their employees' blood pressure, and persistent high blood pressure can increase heart disease risk.
For the latest study, researchers from the Karolinska Institute and Stockholm University tracked the heart health of the male employees, aged between 19 and 70 and working in the Stockholm area, over a period of nearly a decade.
During this time 74 cases of fatal and non-fatal heart attack or acute angina, or death from ischaemic heart disease, occurred.
All the participants were asked to rate the leadership style of their senior managers on competencies such as how clearly they set out goals for their staff and how good they were at communicating and giving feedback.
The staff who deemed their senior managers to be the least competent had a 25% higher risk of a serious heart problem.
And those working for what was classed as a long time - four years or more - had a 64% higher risk.
The findings held true, regardless of educational attainment, social class, income, workload, lifestyle factors, such as smoking and exercise, and other risk factors for heart disease, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.
The researchers, which included experts from University College London in the UK and the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health, said that if a direct cause and effect was confirmed, then managers' behaviour should be targeted in a bid to stave off serious heart disease among less senior employees.
They said managers should give employees clear work objectives and sufficient power in relation to their responsibilities.
Cathy Ross, cardiac nurse for the British Heart Foundation, said: "This limited, male-only study suggests that a good, clear working relationship with your manager may help to protect against heart disease.
"Feeling undervalued and unsupported can cause stress, which often leads to unhealthy behaviors such as smoking, eating a poor diet, drinking too much alcohol and not getting enough exercise - adding to your risk of developing heart problems.
"Being fit and active can give you the double benefit of busting work stress and boosting your heart health at the same time."

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/7745324.stm
Published: 2008/11/25 00:13:23 GMT
© BBC MMVIII
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Eat This, Not That for Kids is not a diet book, but a wake-up call to parents to start feeding their kids healthier foods. After the wildly popular Eat This, Not That book, aimed at helping adults make smarter food choices, authors David Zinczenko and Matt Goulding followed with this sequel.

One of the book's most shocking revelations is just how much fat, calories, sodium, and sugar are lurking in many favorite kids' dishes. Did you know, for example, that the average kid's meal at Outback Steakhouse has 93 grams of fat, or that the healthy-sounding turkey minis and fries kids' meal at Ruby Tuesday’s has 893 calories and 47 grams of fat?

The basic idea behind Eat This, Not That for Kids is that by making simple substitutions for their children's favorite foods, parents can improve their kids' diets. For example:

Instead of a Cosi’s Kids pepperoni pizza (911 calories and 43 grams of fat), choose two slices of Papa John’s pepperoni pizza (440 calories) or a grilled cheese sandwich (357 calories).
Instead of McDonald's Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips (400 calories, 23 grams fat), order their 8-piece Chicken McNuggets with Apple Dippers and caramel dip (355 calories, 15.5 g fat).
Instead of Krispy Kreme's Powdered Cake Donut (290 calories, 14 g fat), opt for four Original Glazed donut holes (200 calories, 11 g fat).
Instead of 16 Wheat Thins (140 calories, 6 g fat), give your kids 6 Triscuits (120 calories, 4.5 g. fat).

Eat This, Not That for Kids: How It Works

The heart of Eat This, Not That for Kids is the comparisons for foods commonly found in restaurants, at the grocery store, vending machine, and school cafeteria. Foods on the left side of the page (the "Eat This" side) are recommended over similar foods on the right side (the "Not That" side).

But don’t be misled into thinking that all foods labeled "Not That" should be avoided, or that all the foods on the "Eat This" side are the best choices. The recommendations are often based on what might be called the lesser of two evils. At first glance, this can be confusing -- especially when you see healthy foods like Horizon organic fat-free vanilla yogurt on the "Not That" side of the page.

"We tried to compare apples to apples, so not everything on the 'Eat This' side is meant to beat out everything on the 'Not That' side. So, for example, in the yogurt section, our comparisons are for like yogurts, so we chose the best and worst example of strawberry yogurts," explains co-author Goulding, a former chef and a Men’s Health health and nutrition editor.

In the section on sauces, for example, Classico roasted red pepper Alfredo sauce (120 calories and 10 g fat per 1/2 cup portion) is among the choices on the "Eat This" side; Ragu Light Parmesan Alfredo (280 calories, 20 g fat) is among those on the "Not That" side. Although one sauce is better than the other, neither of these two would likely be recommended by most nutrition professionals.

And it appears some foods were recommended over others simply because the portion size was smaller. For example, a 1-ounce bag of potato chips scores better than a 1.5 ounce bag.

These are some of the reasons why it's important not only to look at the comparisons but to read the text in each chapter.

Each chapter starts with strategies to help parents take charge of their children’s diets. For example, in the supermarket section, parents are encouraged to stick to the perimeter of the store, where less processed foods can be found. And there's a primer to help parents understand label lingo so they can select foods with more whole grains and less sugar.

Other features in this very visual book include an Eat This, Not That food guide pyramid, menu "decoders" to help you understand what's in your child's favorite dishes, and "report cards" for restaurants ranging from Applebee's to Wendy's.

There's also a list of the authors' picks for the 20 worst kid's foods, including:

Cosi's 911-calorie kids' pepperoni pizza
Baskin-Robbins' 990-calorie Heath shake
Denny's Big Dipper Frenchy Funstix, with 770 calories
Cap'n Crunch cereal, at 146 calories per cup
Oscar Meyer's Maxed Out Turkey and Cheddar Cracker Combo Lunchables,
with 680 calories

A menu detailing a week’s worth of kid-friendly weeknight meals will enlighten parents about which weeknight standbys should stay and which should go. For example, the book recommends a meal of meatloaf, roasted asparagus, baked sweet potato and Jell-O over one consisting of chicken casserole, baked potato, roasted asparagus and Italian ice. Also included are 10 kid-friendly recipes made healthier, including macaroni and cheese, pepperoni pizza, nachos, fettuccine Alfredo, and chicken strips with honey mustard.

The book also contains reference charts that detail which nutrients kids need each day, divided by age group and including calories, fat, saturated fat, sodium, carbs, fiber, and protein.

Eat This, Not That for Kids: What You Can Eat

Eat This, Not That for Kids includes these eight simple rules for healthy eating:

Never skip breakfast.
Snack mindfully on healthy snacks.
Watch your portion sizes.
Drink water and milk, and fewer sweetened beverages.
Eat more whole, less-processed foods.
Eat meals together as a family.
Kick the sugar habit.
Eat a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables.

The "Eat This, Not That" food pyramid excludes tortillas, pasta, pancakes, anything with partially hydrogenated oil, and heavily sweetened cereals. Yet the rest of the book includes foods with these ingredients, which is confusing. (It's also probably not realistic to exclude so many kid favorites.) For example, Campbell’s Spaghetti-Os, a pasta dish, is on the cover as the preferred choice over Kraft macaroni and cheese.

The book alerts parents about nutrients often missing in kids' diets, such as calcium, vitamin D, iron, vitamin E, and fiber, and gives tips on how to fill these nutritional gaps with foods and beverages kids enjoy.

In their "report cards" on 43 restaurant chains, the authors generally gave points for healthy meals that had less than 500 calories, less than 20 grams of fat, and 500-800 milligrams of sodium. They deducted points when the choices were limited and unhealthy.

Only 11 chains scored a 'B' or higher, and 6 flunked for their kids' offerings. But even for the restaurants rated "F," the authors offer survival strategies that sometimes include foods from the adult menu.

Chick-fil-A earned the award for America’s healthiest chain restaurant for kids; Subway and Wendy's also got A's. Other winners included:
Arby's
Boston Market
Denny's
Jamba Juice
Panera Bread
McDonald's
KFC
Fazoli's

Chains that flunked include:
Applebee’s
IHOP
Outback Steakhouse
Olive Garden
Red Lobster
TGI Friday’s

Eat This, Not That for Kids: What the Experts Say

Elizabeth Ward, RD, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Feeding Your Baby and Toddler, applauds Eat This, Not That for Kids for providing solid nutrition information, including the shocking nutritional statistics for some kids' foods.

"I wish we didn’t need a book like this," she says, noting that if you need to carry around a book to figure out which meals to choose, chances are you're eating too many fast food meals.

"It’s a snapshot of what most kids are eating, and while not exhaustive, parents can use the nutrition facts to learn more about the nutritional goodness of eating whole foods over processed and fast foods," Ward says.

Ward said she had a few concerns about the "Eat This, Not That" recommendations. For example, the book lists Yobaby peach yogurt as having 13 grams of sugar per 4-ounce portion, but this number includes 6 grams of naturally occurring lactose (milk sugar). Instead, she says, the listing should specify that there are 7 grams of added sugar.

“Lumping lactose with added sugar makes foods like Yobaby peach yogurt look like it is high in sugar, which is confusing to parents and technically incorrect," she says.

Ward also says it's inconsistent for the authors to leave so many common processed foods out of the food pyramid, "and then promote the consumption of processed foods as the lesser of two evils throughout the book."

Ward's own advice to parents looking to feed their kids a healthier diet: Prepare more meals at home, where you control the ingredients.

"It is easy to whip up healthy meals in minutes at home, which can be much more nutritious and less expensive than many fast foods," she says.

Eat This, Not That for Kids: Food for Thought

Eat This Not That for Kids contains a wealth of solid nutrition information -- as long as you read the fine print and don’t just rely on the pictures. The small book is easy to tote around for quick reference at restaurants, vending machines, and the supermarket.

But remember, a better choice does not necessary equal a healthy choice. The only way to get the whole picture is to carefully check the fat, calories, sodium, and sugar numbers for the foods you feed your kids.

http://www.webmdhealth.com/ehealth/common/content/webmdtopic.aspx?webmdlink=/content/WebMDArticles/WebMD/WebMD_Feature_091e9c5e802860bc.html
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GREAT DOG STORY

Anyone who has pets will really like this. You will like it even if you do not and you may even decide you need one!

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named “Lucky.” Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit, they would warn their friends not to leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease...in fact, she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He will not understand that I didn't want to leave him. The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally, the day came for Mary to leave the hospital... When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she could not even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap... Lucky stood watching Mary but he did not come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second time she could not understand what was wrong. She could not move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. However, panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life. He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It has been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember...live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. In addition, never forget...the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards they are the ones that care for us. If you see someone without a smile today, give him or her one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thanks to Waneta
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| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------
November 18, 2008
Today's Message is from Catherine Clayton (Baton Rouge Tower Albemarle
employee).

Outdoor Fire Safety

For many, fall weather conjures up images of bonfires, burning leaves and
outdoor activities. But with party lights, patio heaters, outdoor fire pits and grills, fall is also a time for fire hazards.

Practice Outdoor Fire Safety
Prevent Electric Shock
Store and Dispose of Chemicals Safely

Practice Outdoor Fire Safety

If outdoor fires are legal in your community, only build them in enclosed, contained areas such as an outdoor chiminea, fire bowl or fire pit, taking care not to overload it. Make sure there is nothing flammable within 3 feet of the fire. Never leave a fire unattended – sparks can blow onto surrounding leaves and grass and quickly spread. Always keep a garden hose or bucket of water nearby to extinguish errant fires.

When you’re done with your outdoor fire, drown flames with plenty of water and stir the ashes. Continue adding water and stirring until all materials are cold to the touch. Don’t discard ashes or embers in trashcans. Instead, use a metal bucket for ashes and leave it outside overnight. Douse with water and discard the next day.

When using a patio heater, always remember to turn it off when you go inside.

It’s also important to keep your roof clear of leaves and other debris. This will prevent sparks from power lines or lightning from spreading. To keep your gutters clean and clear, follow these steps.
Prevent Electric Shock

Before performing outdoor home maintenance projects like digging or excavating, make sure you know where the underground power lines are. Contact your local power company or power line locator service. Plant trees far from telephone poles and power lines, and avoid trimming trees that are located near power lines. That’s a job better left to professionals.

When working on the roof, keep yourself and your equipment at least 10 feet from hanging power lines. Make sure your outdoor outlets are weatherproofed and have a Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter (GFCI) to protect you from serious shock.

Safety Alert!
Avoid stepping on wet roofs or other wet surfaces and wear rubber-soled shoes for traction.

When installing and using outdoor water pumps for ponds and pools, don’t start the pump until it’s fully submerged in water. Make sure to unplug the pump every time you need to adjust the water flow and dry your hands completely before plugging the cord back in.

Store and Dispose of Chemicals Safely

Always read the manufacturers’ safety warnings on product labels. They will tell you how to properly store and dispose of chemicals such as pesticides and herbicides. Many lawn and garden chemicals are toxic and highly flammable. Keep all containers in cool areas, away from heat and flames.

Safety Alert! When working with harsh chemicals or pesticides always wear protective gloves, goggles and clothing. If you get a dangerous substance on your skin, wash the area immediately with soap and water.
----------------------------------------------
| Safety from the Heart |
----------------------------------------------
November 17, 2008
Today's Message is from Karen Berner (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).

Backing Out of a Parking Space

How many times have you backed out of a parking space and had a near miss with an oncoming vehicle because your view was blocked? Drivers are put at a disadvantage when they are backing their cars out of parking spaces, so it is important to remain alert during this maneuver. For those of us who drive a car, it is extremely difficult to back out of a parking space when a truck, SUV, or van is parked next to you. Your view is virtually blocked and it is nearly impossible to see what you are backing into. By paying attention to these key pointers below, you will become more aware of what you could be backing into.
Back out slowly, so you are fully aware of any changes behind you When you are parking your car, avoid parking next to extra-large vehicles
If a truck, SUV, or van should park next to you, before backing out, step out of your car and check for any vehicles that may be exiting the parking aisle
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 7 24 Nov 2008
+ ------------------------------------- +
Windows Speedups / XP-ify Vista / Download YouTube / Mini Laptops In today's TOURBUS, you'll find out how to speed up your Windows-based computer -- I've got tips for both Vista and XP. And if you're stuck with Vista, but still in love with XP, I've got some cosmetic surgery tips that will make you happy. You'll also learn the secrets of downloading YouTube videos, and whether a mini laptop is the right choice for you. Read on!
+ ------------------------------------- +
HOW TO SPEED UP WINDOWS VISTA
A TOURBUS reader asked: "I upgraded to Windows Vista on my desktop PC, and instead of speeding up, it seems to run slower than ever. Do you have any tips or tweaks to make Vista run faster?"

This reader is not alone in wanting to squeeze more speed out of Windows Vista. There is perhaps no more resounding criticism of Vista than about its performance. Vista has been called a bloated operating system, slowing down machines that ran fine with Windows XP. Fortunately, there are some things you can do that will make Vista run significantly faster. Learn how to tweak your settings for better performance, eliminate unnecessary software and system services, turn off the eye candy and more.
Click the link below to get all my tips and tricks to get maximum performance out of your Vista computer.
SPEED UP VISTA [http://askbobrankin.com/speed_up_vista.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
MAKE WINDOWS XP RUN FASTER!
Another reader concerned about performance asked: "My Windows startup seems to be taking a long time, and once it finally stops churning, everything seems to run slower than it used to. Can you suggest any maintenance tips to make Windows XP start and run faster?"

I have this theory that sludge builds up inside a computer over time, much like an automobile engine. After a while, it doesn't start right up like when it was new, it stalls unexpectedly, and performance is sluggish on the (information) highway. So is there something like engine cleaner you can pour into your personal computer to restore that "like new" performance? Actually, yes!
Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.
MAKE XP FASTER [http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
HOW TO MAKE VISTA LOOK LIKE XP
Have you upgraded to Vista and found yourself yearning for the good old XP days? One reader asked me: "I just got Windows Vista, after using XP for many years. And frankly, I'm not crazy about the Vista look and feel... are there some tweaks I can use to make Vista look more like XP?"
Maybe it's that new transparent user interface, the fact that Vista feels a little sluggish on your computer, or things just aren't where they used to be. Whatever the reasons for wanting the XP look and feel, here are my suggestions to help you turn Vista into something that resembles your beloved Windows XP.
Find out how to change your Vista desktop into an XP clone, get back all those missing icons, and disable some Vista features that many find annoying. Read on...
MAKE VISTA LOOK LIKE XP [http://askbobrankin.com/make_vista_look_like_xp.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
HOW TO DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS
So you found the coolest video on YouTube, and you want to download it to your computer. It's true, YouTube doesn't make it easy to download a video from their site.
But fortunately, there are many simple ways to download videos from YouTube, so you can view them offline, burn a video DVD, embed them in a presentation, or do your own video mixing. There's no obvious way on the YouTube site, but there are some easy ways to download a YouTube video to your hard drive.
Here's how to download, convert and view those YouTube videos...
DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS [http://askbobrankin.com/download_youtube_videos.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
IS A MINI-LAPTOP RIGHT FOR YOU?
Are you thinking about buying one of those new mini-laptops for a student, or maybe for business travel? Recently computer vendors have been coming out with a new breed of laptop... The mini models usually weigh in at about 2 pounds and are about the size of a trade paperback. They are easier to carry around and can look pretty slick. But can they do everything that the larger laptops do?
Yes, they're cheaper... but are they worth the price? Find out if a mini can replace your standard laptop, what features are typically lacking on the minis, and if they're the right choice for you or your child. Get the scoop, along with my mini-reviews of five new mini-Laptops...
MINI LAPTOPS [http://askbobrankin.com/mini_laptops.html]
+ ------------------------------------- +
POPULAR ARTICLES

# Send a Free Fax [http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html]
Learn how to send and receive faxes for free, using online fax services.

# Make Windows Run Faster [http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html]
Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.

# Free Calls With Skype [http://askbobrankin.com/free_calls_with_skype.html]
Skype is a software package that lets you make free calls to almost anyone, anywhere in the world. Here's how to get started...

# Free Internet Security Software [http://askbobrankin.com/should_i_buy_antispyware_or_antivirus_software.html]
Staying safe on the Internet doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my recommendations for the best FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and popup blocker software.

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Run the all new, FREE PC Pitstop Optimize 2.0 scan now and in just minutes, you'll discover numerous ways you can keep your PC running like new. Start the Free Scan Now!

Flowers Fast! The Popular Online Florist
Use Promo Code TOURBUS to Save $5 on your order!

+ ------------------------------------- +
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
+ ------------------------------------- +
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2008, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.386605-] Percent of Users The Best of Everything - http://www.InternetTourbus.com/best.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Home - http://www.InternetTourbus.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Coal miner battles MSHA for tougher coal dust limit" by Celeste Monforton An underground coal miner who works in eastern Kentucky took the next step in his legal battle to force the Secretary of Labor to reduce respirable dust levels in our nation's coal mines. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/coal-miner-battles-msha-for-tougher-coal-dust-limit/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski It's the 40th anniversary of the mine explosion in Farmington, WV that killed 78 workers; veterans want to know about chemicals in the air at an Iraq base; and Texas nurses call for legislation to protect nurses and patients. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/occupational-health-news-roundup-90/

** "Worker fatally injured at my workplace" by Celeste Monforton When someone who makes a serious effort to recognize the daily toll of workplace deaths doesn't even know about one in her own backyard, is it any wonder that so few people in the U.S. know that about 15 workers lose their lives every day from fatal workplace injuries? http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/worker-fatally-injured-at-my-workplace/

** "Manganese Companies Engage in Product Defense; Workers Suffer" by Liz Borkowski Some companies would rather spend millions on product defense than compensate those who've suffered from exposure to substances the companies know to be dangerous. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/manganese-companies-engage-in-product-defense/

** "Gulf War illness: Getting real" by revere A congressionally mandated independent panel of scientists has just issued a report verifying what many of us have known since the early 1990s: Gulf War Syndrome is real. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/gulf-war-illness-getting-real/

** "Healthcare Costs: What Hospitals Are Up Against" by Liz Borkowski A Boston Globe article reports on the vastly different fees that different Massachusetts hospitals charge to insurance companies – but leaves out some important context about the environment in which hospitals operate. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/healthcare-costs-and-hospitals/

** "Microwave safe: Not" by revere The team of investigative reporting team of Susanne Rust and Meg Kissinger at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel just keeps rolling along, this time with an amazing story about how microwave safe plastics are leaching bisphenol-A at potentially unsafe levels. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/microwave-safe-not/

** "OMB Reviewing Two MSHA Rules" by Celeste Monforton Under a congressional deadline, the Mine Safety and Health Administration has sent the White House Office of Management and Budget rules on safety refuges and on conveyor belt flammability and ventilation practices. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/omb-reviewing-two-msha-rules/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Bloggers explore Senator Baucus's healthcare plan; an EPA decision that freezes coal-fired power plant construction; and a system for verifying that e-waste is recycled appropriately. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/11/14/friday-blog-roundup-100/

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Media downplays the death of yet another Obayashi employee.

In my mind there is absolutely nothing worse than listening to the way most of the media has become accustom to downplaying the significance of a workplace fatality. This for instance is a perfect example of just what I mean.
Please ask yourself the following.
If this report included all the facts about the employers (Obayashi's) history of workplace fatalities for instance there are at least 6 other Obayashi employees that come to mind who's lives were lost while working for this corporate giant on separate job site's between August of 2002 and now.
Would they recognize the need to look deeper into Obayashi's past to establish a pattern of negligence on Obayashi's part? Giving the media and the public means to acknowledge and question why this company has so many preventable fatalities in its past? Absolutely!
And would that information provide them with reason to look into and discover how each one of those fatalities were treated and pushed out of public view with the smallest bits of corporate trickery.
For over 6 years I've watched in horror as this corporate giant cut short the lives of so many of its employees without concern for anything other than publicly blemishing their corporate name. With absolutely no regard for the families of the victims. Just the same way they have done this time.
Point being as long as they are able to have the media turn their focus to things like how many more deaths occurred during the building of the original Hoover damn while throwing around statements such as the workers comprehend the great risk they take everyday then we will never be able to gain an accurate understanding of what the truth really is. That is until we ourselves are unfortunate enough to become the families or loved ones of future victims of workplace tragedies ourselves. And from there I promise you there is no way to blind yourself from the truth or convince yourself that you didn't see the warning signs.
Obayashi's history of workplace fatalities and corporate cover ups exceed the 6 fatalities that I myself am aware of As I did not include fatalities from outside the United States though there are many others.
Our Thoughts and prayers go out to the family, friends and loved ones who are mourning the loss of Sherman Jones,48 of Las Vegas who lost his life earlier this week while working on the Hoover Dam bypass project.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Sgt. Jonnie L. Stiles, 38, of Highlands Ranch, Colo., died Nov. 13 in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. He was assigned to the 927th Engineer Company (Sapper), 769th Engineer Battalion, Louisiana Army National Guard, Baton Rouge, La.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Nov. 15 in Mosul, Iraq, when their OH-58 Kiowa helicopter crashed while on a mission over Mosul. Killed were:
02. Chief Warrant Officer Donald V. Clark, 37, of Memphis, Tenn. He was assigned to the 6th Squadron, 17th Cavalry Regiment, Task Force 49, U.S. Army Alaska, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.
03. Chief Warrant Officer Christian P. Humphreys, 28, of Fallon, Nev. He was assigned to the 6th Squadron, 17th Cavalry Regiment, Task Force 49, U.S. Army Alaska, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

04. Cpl. Aaron M. Allen, 24, of Buellton, Calif., died Nov. 14 while supporting combat operations in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 4th Marines, 1st Marine Division, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

05. Gunnery Sgt. Marcelo R. Velasco, 40, of Miami, died Nov. 19 from injuries sustained in a non-hostile incident in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to I Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group, I MEF, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

06. Pvt. Charles Yi Barnett, 19, of Bel Air, Md., died on Nov. 20 of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident in Tallil, Iraq.
He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 12th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

07. Sgt 1st Class Miguel A. Wilson, 36, of Bonham, Texas, died Nov. 21 in Abu Sayf, Iraq, of injuries sustained during a rescue attempt of another soldier while their unit was conducting a dismounted reconnaissance mission. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Hood, Texas.

08. 1st Lt. William K. Jernigan, 35, of Doraville, Ga., died Nov. 24 in Baqubah, Iraq, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to Headquarters Company, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

09. Capt. Warren A. Frank, 26, of Cincinnati, Ohio, died Nov. 25 while supporting combat operations in Ninewa province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 5th Air Naval Gunfire Liasion Company, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan.

10. Master Sgt. Anthony Davis, 43, of Deerfield, Fla., died Nov. 25 in Baaj, Iraq, after being shot by an Iraqi Security Force soldier while he was conducting a dismounted humanitarian food drop. He was assigned to the Military Transition Team, 1st Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kansas.
~
Soldier Missing in Action from Korean War is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is Cpl. Librado Luna, U.S. Army, of Taylor, Texas. He will be buried on Nov. 25 in Taylor.

Representatives from the Army's Mortuary Office met with Luna’s next-of-kin to explain the recovery and identification process, and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the Secretary of the Army.

In late November 1950, Luna was assigned to the 8th Army Ranger Company, 25th Infantry Division, then attached to B Company, 89th Medium Tank Battalion as part of Task Force Dolvin. The 8th Army Ranger Company was deployed on Hill 205 in Kujang County along the leading edge of the U.S. position. On November 25, the Chinese Army struck in force in what would become known as the Battle of the Ch’ongch’on River. Task Force Dolvin, including the 8th Army Ranger Company, was forced to withdraw to the south. Of the 91 men from B Company, 89th Medium Tank Battalion and the 8th Army Ranger Company, only 22 made it to safety. Ten men, including Luna, went missing on November 26 near Hill 205.

In 1998, a joint U.S.-Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea (D.P.R.K.) team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), excavated a burial site in Kujang County where a girl had uncovered possible American remains on a hill near her school. The site correlates with the area where members of the 8th Army Ranger Company fought as part of Task Force Dolvin. The team recovered human remains and non-biological material evidence.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA in the identification of Luna’s remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1420.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
~~~~~
Albemarle Christmas Party, December 11.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
2 Cor 4:16-18 2 Th 1:11-12 James 1:19-21 1 Sam 17:32-36 Chr 19:16-18 Col 3:15-17 Mat 26:40-41 Lam 3:55-59 Hosea 6:1-3 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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