Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Reindeer For Sale - - Photos

  Vanessa's Award Winning Smile
  But Bobbie can match it.
  I almost forgot how to smile.
  But David can always bring a smile to Annette

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Reindeer For Sale

  Early Morning on US 79 South
  Sunrise on a cold morning

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Reindeer For Sale

  Ethan gets down to play
  Ethan enjoyed the candy
  Dusty and David enjoy opening presents

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Reindeer For Sale

Volume 10, Issue 52 Friday, December 26, 2008

Hello All,

We had a great, semi relaxed Christmas with our kids and loved ones. There was plenty of food and fun for everyone. The highlight of Christmas morning was Annette opening her 25th present to find a Wii “music” game. She looked up and asked me if she could play it on the computer? I told her “no, you can only play it on a Wii.” “Well” she said; “How am I going to play it?” I replied, “On your new Wii.”
Then the light came on and she asked me where it was.
We’ve had fun playing the games but the most fun has been creating the Wii characters for all of us. I think David, Mike, Vanessa and mine are the most lifelike.
~~~~~
As the economic news seems to get worse every day, and we hear of more and more folks losing their jobs, I think back to how my three grandfathers’s survived the “Great Depression.”
I don’t know how exactly my paternal Grandfather, James Lawton McClellan, survived the depression but his children were involved in the oil protection business and had regular work during those hard times. I don’t have any memories of particular hard times for them.
My maternal Grandfather, Fort Henry Taylor, was a “mule trader” who had acquired quite a bit of land before the hard times hit. He supported his family during those dark times by selling that land slowly to International Paper Company. At the start of World War II, he had about 50 acres left and his family had never really known hunger or severe want.
My stepfather, James Watson Duke, didn’t fare as well. He was a child when the depression began and his father, James Watson Duke Sr., had a general store on the south east side of the square. When the farmers he’d extended credit to couldn’t pay their bills, he was unable to pay his bills and lost his store. Not long after losing his store, he went blind due to diabetes and it fell upon my stepfather to support his mom, dad, and two sisters. “Tammy” Duke convinced a local business man to loan him $10 which he used to open a hamburger stand in the back of a blacksmith shop located on north Washington Street, near where Wilson Bearden Pharmacy now stands. His business was successful and he kept his family fed during those tough times. Eventually he opened the “Chatterbox” café and that eatery supported family while he was away during World War II.
So, three different stories but all three families survived. And even prospered in spite of adversity.
~~~~~
As these tough times get tougher, we need to ensure that our friends and neighbors are not forgotten. Local food banks and homeless shelters need your help more than ever. And remember, God will not forget your charity to those in need.
~~~~~
Our lives are composed of equal parts past present and future. Sometimes, we have to let the Lord rebuild our past. Sometimes we have to let him fix our present. All of us need to invite him to rule our
future. I've been blessed to have joy in all three phases.
~~~~~
Thinking of the 1930s, reminded me of “Well Water and Sweat.” The story of my mother and her siblings growing up in the first third of the last century. My grand dad was a farmer and a trader. The trading part involved buying or trading for things, and then selling or trading them for items of greater value. He was also called a “Mule Trader.”
The farm part, involved raising food and cotton. With seven kids, it was expected that everyone would share the work. No watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. A farm is work. But work can be fun.
My mother often told stories of her brothers and sisters. Like the time they decided to build a fire. This was no easy task since they were forbidden to play with matches. The solution seemed to be to hide the fire from prying adult eyes. They thought for a few days and then decided that the one place the adults never went was under the house. So, they built their fire under the house. They just forgot to consider what the adults reaction would be when smoke started coming through the floor.
Some of her favorite stories featured her brother Fort. For instance;
There was the time that Fort suggested they have a cussing contest. All the kids agreed and he suggested my mother go first. She looked around and then saw a fly. She whispered “Look at that D___ Fly.” Whereupon Fort went running to my grandmother shouting “Iris said a bad word, Iris said a bad word.”
My grandmother, being a fair-minded lady, didn’t immediately take the strap to my mother. First, she held an investigation. She called all the kids together and asked; “Is this true? Did Iris say a word?”
Nobody, except Fort, said anything. She asked again, and my mother started trying to explain. Grandmother stopped her and said; “Did you say D___?” My mother said “yes, but…” That’s all she got out. The rest of that tale involved the wood shed.
Another time, She thought she could get Fort’s Saturday evening money away from him. She challenged him to a dare. He agreed and they bet their allowance over it. She thought she had the perfect dare and told him; “I dare you to eat a worm.” He took the dare. Walked over to the kitchen porch and selected an apple off the table. He cut the apple open, picked a worm off a nearby leaf, put it in the apple and then, ate the apple. She had to hand over her money.
Like I said at the beginning, the kids were expected to share the farm work. However, Fort had devised a plan that resulted in his share, of work, being less than the others.
On the farm, they ate breakfast before daylight, and then were in the fields at sunrise. You worked in the fields until noon, when dinner was served, then returned to the fields until sundown.
Not a lot of fun for kids. Then Fort had the brainstorm. There was a well between the house and the barn. Located behind a large hedge on the west side of the house, at the edge of the fields. One day at lunch, Fort lagged behind the others as they filed out of the field. He paused at the well and pored a bucket of water over his head. Then he “drug” around the hedge and up to the back door where his mother was waiting for the kids to come in to eat.
She took one look at Fort, obviously exhausted and drenched in sweat and told him to take the rest of the day off.
My mother and the other kids were incised. But how could they expose him? The unwritten rule that none of them would ever break was; Never Rat on Family.
So, they didn’t tell. However, they did jump him when they had a chance. It was a fair fight. But my mother always claimed that she made up for the extra work as well as the swearing contest.
~~~~~
I spent a great deal of my childhood in Doctor’s offices and/or hospitals. You could almost say that I experienced a childhood of “Growing up sick”. In fact, I was in high school before I realized that not everyone spent time in the hospital every year.
I was fifteen and in the hospital again, when one of my buddies came to visit. He seemed real nervous and when I asked him what the problem was, he admitted that he’d never been in a hospital before. After he left, I asked my mother what was wrong with him. I actually thought he must be abnormal.
When I was seven years old, I spent several months in Little Rock at St. Vincent's Hospital. (In fact, I spent most of the first grade there.) They thought I had leukemia (this was before they discovered that I had McClellan’s Disease.)
To this day, I’ve got a warm spot in my heart for the nuns there. But no matter how well your treated (and we were cared for by the finest humans on the earth) there's just so much a kid can stand. One morning, they came in to take more blood, check my vitals, etc. When they put the thermometer in my mouth, I ate it.
Now, this isn't considered proper food for a growing boy and the nurse jerked me out of the bed and started cleaning out my mouth all the while yelling for help. After they got all the glass out of my mouth and (hopefully) all the mercury, Sister Maria came in and asked me why I’d done that. I told her I was tired of the whole “hospital” thing and wanted to go home.
I didn’t get to go home for another month or two, but the next day, they let me sneak out to the Zoo, located just south east of the hospital.
Another time, all the kids on the eighth floor were visited by their Fairy Godmother. When we got back to our rooms, we all had presents. Len had a fire truck. Russell had Lincoln Logs. Jamey had a doll and I got a new shirt. … A SHIRT! I’m in the hospital. Where’ am I going to wear a shirt?
To this day, don’t you let me catch you giving any of my kids or grand kids cloths for Christmas or their Birthday. Clothes are not a toy and kids ought to get toys for presents.
~~~~~
[http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
We’re currently reading; The fire : a novel / Katherine Neville.
We intend to read; T is for trespass / Sue Grafton. - - The Charlemagne pursuit : a novel / Steve Berry. - - The devil's eye / Jack McDevitt.
We recommend: The Faith: Chuck Colson
~~~~~
Over the last two weeks we watched [Ratings are my own]:
Miss Potter (2006) [9.3] Starring Renée Zellweger ... Ewan McGregor ... Emily Watson
3 Godfathers (1948) [8.4] Starring John Wayne ... Pedro Armendáriz ... Harry Carey Jr. ... Ward Bond ... Mildred Natwick ... Ben Johnson
Death Race (2008) [6.7] Starring Jason Statham ...
Intolerable Cruelty (2003) [6.4] Starring George Clooney ... Catherine Zeta-Jones ... Cedric the Entertainer ... Billy Bob Thornton
Pink Panther: Inspector: Great DeGaulle... (1969) [7.4] Starring Dave Barry Mel Blanc Rich Little ... Larry Storch Paul Winchell ... John Byner ... Arte Johnson ... Henry Mancini
Iron Giant (1999) [9.0] Starring Jennifer Aniston ... Harry Connick Jr. ... Vin Diesel ... Cloris Leachman ... John Mahoney
Sense and Sensibility (1995) [9.1] Starring Kate Winslet ... Emma Thompson ... Hugh Grant ... Robert Hardy ... Alan Rickman ... Greg Wise
Pride & Prejudice (2005) [8.5] Starring Keira Knightley ... Talulah Riley ... Rosamund Pike ... Donald Sutherland ... Matthew Macfadyen
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all! As you know by now, I'm spending the holiday in Kenya, but I still managed to send along holiday greetings.
Today's Story: Daryn Sends Christmas Greetings
Here is my Christmas wish for you and your family.
Watch Video [http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/blogarchive/blog_081224_kenya.html]
~~~~~
From one of FMC Shreveport’s Contemporary Worship Faithlink Singers
I AM

1. A child of God (Romans 8:16)
2. Redeemed from the Hand of the Enemy (Psalms 107:2)
3. Forgiven (Colossians 1:13-14)
4. Saved by Grace through Faith (Ephesians 2:8)
5. Justified (Romans 5:1)
6. Sanctified (I Corinthians 6:11)
7. A New Creature (II Corinthians 5:17)
8. Partaker of His Divine Nature (II Peter 1:4)
9. Redeemed from the Curse of the law (Galatians 3:13)
10. Delivered from the Powers of Darkness (Colossians 1:13)
11. Led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14)
12. A Son of God (Romans 8:14)
13. Kept in Safety Wherever I Go (Psalms 91:11)
14. Getting All My Needs Met by Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19)
15. Casting All My cares upon Jesus (I Peter 5:7)
16. Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might (Ephesians 6:10)
17. Doing All Thing through Christ Who Strengthens Me (Philippians 4:13)
18. An Heir with God and a Joint Heir with Jesus (Romans 8:17)
19. Heir to the Blessings of Abraham (Galatians 3:13-14)
20. Observing and Doing the Lord's Commandments (Deuteronomy 28:12)
21. Blessed Coming in and Blessed Going out (Deuteronomy 26:6)
22. An Heir of Eternal Life (I John 5:11-12)
23. Blessed with All Spiritual Blessings (Ephesians 1:3)
24. Healed by His Stripes ( I Peter 2:24)
25. Exercising My Authority over the Enemy (Luke 10:19)
26. Above Only and Not Beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13)
27. More than a Conqueror (Romans 8:37)
28. Establishing God's Word Here on Earth (Matthew 16:19)
29. An Overcomer by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of My Testimony (Revelation 12:11)
30. Daily Overcoming the Devil (I John 4:4)
31. Not Moved by What I See (II Corinthians 4:18)
32. Walking by Faith and Not by Sight (II Corinthians 5:7)
33. Casting Down Vain Imaginations (II Corinthians 10:4-5)
34. Bringing Every Thought into Captivity (II Corinthians 10:5)
35. Being Transformed by Renewing My Mind (Romans 12:1-2)
36. A Laborer Together with God (I Corinthians 3:9)
37. The Righteousness of God in Christ (II Corinthians 5:21)
38. An Imitator of Jesus (Ephesians 5:1)
39. The Light of the World (Matthew 5:14)
40. Blessing the Lord at All Times and Continually praising the Lord with My Mouth (Psalms 34:1)

Thanks to "Claiborne Sharp Jr."
~~~~~
Dooley calls for risk-based standards, real-world regulations
With the chemical industry accounting for about 4% of the U.S. work force and 10% of its exports, public policy must recognize the industry as an asset and not a threat, ACC President and CEO Cal Dooley writes. Among the industry's goals for 2009 are permanent, risk-based security standards for facilities and chemical regulations founded on science and "real-world" health information. ICIS news [http://www.icis.com/Articles/2008/12/24/9181017/inside-view-09-a-whole-new-ball-game.html]
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Monica Brown - - Hometown: Lake Jackson, TX - - Awarded: Silver Star - - Then-Spc Monica Brown, recognized for her gallant actions during combat in Afghanistan in 2007, is the second female soldier since World War II to receive a Silver Star, the third highest award given for valor in enemy action. She received the medal from Vice President Richard B. Cheney during a ceremony March 20.

It was dusk on April 25, 2007, when Brown, a medic from the 82nd Airborne Division’s 782nd Brigade Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, was on a routine security patrol along the rolling, rocky plains of the isolated Jani Khail district in Afghanistan’s Paktika province when insurgents attacked her convoy.

“We’d been out on the mission for a couple of days,” said Brown, who at the time was attached to the brigade’s 4th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment’s Troop C. “We had just turned into a wadi (empty river bed) when our gunner yelled at us that the vehicle behind us had hit an (improvised explosive device).” The soldiers looked out of their windows in time to see one of the struck vehicle’s tires flying through the field next to them. Brown had just opened her door to see what was going on when the attack began.

“I only saw the smoke from the vehicle when suddenly we started taking small-arms fire from all around us,” she said. “Our gunner starting firing back, and my platoon sergeant yelled, ‘Doc! Let’s go.’
Brown and her platoon sergeant, Staff Sgt. Jose Santos, exited their vehicle, and while under fire, ran the few hundred meters to the site of the downed Humvee. “Everyone was already out of the burning vehicle,” she said. “But even before I got there, I could tell that two of them were injured very seriously.”

In fact, all five of the passengers who had stumbled out were burned and cut. Two soldiers suffered life-threatening injuries. With help from two less-injured vehicle crewmen, Sgt. Zachary Tellier and Spc. Jack Bodani, Brown moved the immobile soldiers to a relatively safe distance from the burning Humvee.

“There was pretty heavy incoming fire at this point,” she said. “Rounds were literally missing her by inches,” said Bodani, who provided suppressive fire as Brown aided the casualties. “We needed to get away from there.”

Attempting to provide proper medical care under the heavy fire became impossible, especially when the attackers stepped up efforts to kill the soldiers.

“Another vehicle had just maneuvered to our position to shield us from the rounds now exploding in the fire from the Humvee behind us,” Brown said. “Somewhere in the mix, we started taking mortar rounds. It became a huge commotion, but all I could let myself think about were my patients.”

With the other vehicles spread out in a crescent formation, Brown and her casualties were stuck with nowhere to go. Suddenly, Santos arrived with one of the unit’s vehicles and backed it up to their position, and Brown began loading the wounded soldiers inside.

“We took off to a more secure location several hundred meters away, where we were able to call in the (medical evacuation mission),” Brown said. She then directed other combat-life-saver-qualified soldiers to help by holding intravenous bags and assisting her in preparing the casualties for evacuation.

After what seemed like an eternity, Brown said, the attackers finally began retreating, and she was able to perform more thorough aid procedures before the helicopter finally arrived to transport the casualties to safety.

Two hours after the initial attack, everything was over. In the darkness, Brown recalled standing in a field, knee-deep in grass, her only source of light coming from her red head-light, trying to piece together the events that had just taken place.

“Looking back, it was just a blur of noise and movement,” the Lake Jackson, Texas, native said. “What just happened? Did I do everything right? It was a hard thing to think about.”

Before joining the Army at the age of 17, the bright-eyed young woman said she never pictured herself being in a situation like this. Originally wanting to be an X-ray technician, she changed her mind when she realized that by becoming a medic, she’d be in the best place to help people.

“At first, I didn’t think I could do it,” she said. “I was actually afraid of blood. When I saw my first airway-opening operation, I threw up.” She quickly adjusted to her job and received additional training both before and during her deployment to Afghanistan.

“I realized that everything I had done during the attack was just rote memory,” she said. “Kudos to my chain of command for that. I know with training, like I was given, any medic would have done the same in my position.”

“To say she handled herself well would be an understatement,” said Bodani, who quickly recovered from his injuries and immediately returned to work. “It was amazing to see her keep completely calm and take care of our guys with all that going on around her. Of all the medics we’ve had with us throughout the year, she was the one I trusted the most.”

Earning trust with a combat unit is not something easily earned, said Army Capt. Todd Book, Troop C’s commander at the time of the attack, but it was something Brown had taken upon herself to prove long before the Jani Khail ambush.

“Our regular medic was on leave at the time,” Book said. “We had other medics to choose from, but Brown had shown us that she was more technically proficient than any of her peers.”

Having people call her “Doc” means a lot to Brown because of the trust it engenders. “When people I’ve treated come back to me later and tell me the difference I was able to make in their life is the best part of this job,” she said.

During her rest and recuperation leave in May, Brown visited Spc. Larry Spray, one of the severely injured soldiers from the burning Humvee, in the hospital and met his mother.

“I almost cried,” Brown said. “Spray’s mother was so thankful, and she hugged me. That was the moment that made me feel the best about what I did.”

Even though she felt proud when she was informed that she was going to receive a Silver Star, she considers her actions to be the result of effort put into her by everyone she’s worked for.

“While I’m not scared to get my hands dirty, I have to say that I never fully became a medic until I came over here and did it first-hand,” she said. “I just reacted when the time came.”

Due to her quick and selfless actions, both Smith and Spray survived their injuries.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Joseph L. Galloway: Remember the empty chairs at holiday tables
MCT COLUMN 275
(12/23/2004)

By Joseph L. Galloway
McClatchy Newspapers

Even in hard times, this is the holiday season and a time when thoughts turn to home and family and dinner tables covered with food and gaily wrapped presents and bright lights.

Save a moment amid the celebrations to give thought to the hundreds of thousands of men and women in uniform in far-flung parts of this world who won't be sitting down to dinner with their families.

More than 170,000 men and women of our military will spend their Christmas and New Year's in Iraq and Afghanistan, where killing and dying never take a day off.

Oh, Uncle Sam will do his best to see that most of them sit down to a special dinner of hot turkey and dressing and all the trimmings, and even in the most remote outpost some soldier or Marine will jury-rig a tree of sorts with decorations of sorts.

But it's a hollow celebration for a lonely soldier so far from home and loved ones, and lonely, too, at that dinner table back home where a chair stands empty at the head of the table.

The holidays always bring the troops to mind for me. My earliest memories are of holidays during World War II when rationing of meat and sugar and all manner of things that we take for granted today made the feasting and gift-giving a lot more difficult.

My dad and six of his brothers were all gone to war, along with four of my mom's brothers. I grew up in houses full of frightened women who were doing their best to make do on shortened rations and small allotment checks. My mother got $17 a month from dad's $21 a month pay.

Times were hard, but every American, indeed everyone in the world, had a stake in a war that was ravaging much of Europe and Asia and would kill 60 million people before it was over.

I have my own memories of holidays spent with soldiers and Marines in combat zones from Vietnam to the Persian Gulf to Iraq.

The first was Christmas in An Khe with the 1st Cavalry Division in 1965. The newly arrived division and my friends in the 7th U.S. Cavalry had been blooded in the previous month's terrible battles in the Ia Drang Valley.

The memories of young men wounded and dying all around were fresh in our minds. The gaps in our ranks had been filled with green troops yanked out of replacement depots, and the new arrivals looked at the old, sad eyes of men no older than they were with awe, and we all wondered what fresh Hell we'd found ourselves inhabiting.

And along came the Bob Hope traveling troupe to take our minds off the war for a couple of hours. Everyone howled at Bob's corny jokes and Jerry Colona's slapstick antics. Everyone's eyes bulged at the sight of a scantily clad Joey Heatherton dancing wildly around the stage.

When it was over, most of us just sat there on the ground wishing it wasn't; wishing we weren't there; wishing that we were home in a crowded living room smelling the treats soon to emerge from a hot, busy kitchen.

Then everyone got up, brushed the red dirt off their jungle fatigues and drifted back to their green Army tents and cots.

Back to reality.

Another memory is of Thanksgiving in the Saudi Arabian desert in November of 1990. I'd signed up to go eat turkey and trimmings with some unit, somewhere out among the sand dunes, when I was called to board a bus with two dozen other reporters and photographers.

The bus would stop at an empty crossroads, and the guy with the clipboard would call off a name or two and drop them before moving on.

My turn came, and I stepped off literally in the middle of nowhere. A tall captain of artillery stepped up and saluted: "Mr. Galloway, we are C Battery, 1st Battalion, 21st Field Artillery. We call ourselves The Falcons and you will understand why far better than anyone. We provided fire support for the 7th Cavalry at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang."

I stood there unable to say a word, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I knew that somewhere in that cold, forbidding institution that is an Army, there was both a memory and a heart, and that heart was as tender as my own.

I've never had so fine a Thanksgiving dinner as that one in an Army mess tent in a cold, windswept desert; never enjoyed the company and camaraderie so much as I did then and there.

Please support this mission by making a direct contribution [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php?option=com_dtdonate&Itemid=117]. Without your support, the mission will end. Thank you for helping me tell the full story of the struggle for Iraq and Afghanistan.

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include various pics of our family on Christmas eve.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat3q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Annette's famous "Slayer Pie" (Chocolate Mousse Pie) recipe
Ingredients
Crust:
3 cups Oreo cookies (23 cookies)
½ cup melted unsalted butter

Filling:
1 pound semi-sweet chocolate
2 eggs
4 egg yolks
2 cups heavy cream
6 Tablespoons confectioner's sugar
4 egg whites

For Crust: Combine the cookie crumbs and the butter and press on the bottom and sides of a spring form pan. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
For Filling: Melt the chocolate in a double boiler. Add the whole eggs and mix thoroughly, then add the egg yolks to the mixture and continue to blend. Whip the heavy cream and add confectioner's sugar. In another bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff but not dry. Stir the chocolate mixture, the whipped cream, and the egg whites together and pour on top of the crust in the spring form pan. Refrigerate for six hours or more.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
Human Dignity
By Chuck Colson
12/26/2008
What Matters Most, Part 1

Two weeks ago, headlines across the world announced the release of the Vatican’s official position on bioethics. Naturally, the Catholic Church’s stance on the destruction of human embryos, the creation of designer babies, and the like was greeted with scorn by liberal Catholics and by many medical professionals and scientists.

But two things truly fascinate me about the release of this document. The first is its title: “Dignitas Personae”—or, in plain English: “On the Dignity of the Person.”

Now that’s an interesting title for the Catholic Church’s official teaching on bioethics. Actually, it’s the perfect title because the question of human dignity is at the root of virtually every major question facing humans today. Not just bioethics, but also medicine, the economy, and the environment.

And the question of human dignity hangs on the answer to this question: Where do humans come from? If human beings are the products of random chance, then human dignity is merely the product of our fevered imaginations. If we truly are the end result of a coincidental convergence of atomic particles, then the phrase “human dignity” is meaningless. We would have no more right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness than would a mossy fern.

Scientists would be free to tinker with our genetic makeup, to dispose of human embryos, to clone us and mix our DNA with animals. Governments would be free to exercise unrestrained power over their ultimately valueless subjects. Without any basis for human dignity, life is one gigantic free-for-all—get what you can, while you can.

But, if the answer to the question, “Where do we come from?” is “We were created by God,” then the implications are truly staggering.

If in fact we were created in God’s image; if in fact, as we celebrated yesterday at Christmas, God in Christ became human, took on human flesh, sharing our very DNA, then every human life, from natural conception through natural death, is endowed with eternal and incomprehensible worth.

Instead of playing with human DNA and re-creating humans in the image of our desires and imaginations, we would be responsible to protect the human genetic makeup. Governments would be responsible to preserve order and protect the rights of individuals whose dignity depends not on their value to the state, but on their value to the Supreme Being.

The second thing that fascinates me about the Vatican paper is this: The world is watching what Christians say about human dignity. As the director of a medical research institute told the Washington Post, “Even in the secular world we take a very careful look at the religious writings” in the field of bioethics.

Why? I think the reason may be very simple. Each and every one of us, deep in our hearts, wants to know that we have value. That even as we behold the heavens, the stars and the moon, we matter to Him who set them in their place.

So in these troubled times, I believe that the Church’s greatest calling is to uphold human life and dignity. Because as we do, we ultimately point all those who are made in God’s image back to Him who created them and loves them beyond all comprehension.
And if not, none of us are safe.

Please give a generous donation today to help Prison Fellowship and BreakPoint continue strong in the new year. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527. Thank you!

For Further Reading and Information

“Vatican Ethics Guide Stirs Controversy,” Washington Post, 13 December 2008.

John Allen, “The Pope’s Real Message for Obama,” New York Times, 18 December 2008.

“The Sanctity of Life: 'The Faith, Given Once for All',” BreakPoint Commentary, 28 August 2008.

“Experimenting with Human Dignity: One Hybrid We Don't Need,” BreakPoint Commentary, 19 September 2007.

Charles Colson and Nigel Cameron, eds., Human Dignity in the Biotech Century (InterVarsity, 2004).

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
iambic: having two syllables
jaded: exhausted
kibbutz: collective farm
laggard: wasting time
macrobiotic: promoting longevity
narcissism: self-love
oblique: diagonally arranged
paltry: contemptibly small
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is." - Desiderius Erasmus

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right." - Thomas Paine

"We do not acquire humility. There is humility in us - only we humiliate ourselves before false gods." - Simone Weil

"For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear." - Marilyn C. Barrick

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads." - Clement Clarke Moore

"At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year." - Thomas Tusser

"This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess." - Rainer Maria Rilke
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Radical Evangelism: Man Returns to Inner-City to Save Souls After "Swearing" He'd Never Go Back
Aimee Herd (December 26, 2008)
"This is not some, 'Hey, why don't you come to church on Sunday, and we'd love to have you leave the same way you came in. This is life and death."
(Washington, D.C.)—The Washington Post has published a lengthy report on the evangelistic ministry—in the city's northeast section of Trinidad—of resident Carlos Williams, who at one time left Trinidad because of the high crime rate, determined that he would never return. Well, he did return the crime-ridden community two years ago, along with his wife and seven homeschooled children. His mission; to save souls. (Photo: Washington Post)

According to the report, Williams, who wants to "test the identity around which he has constructed his adult life" won't get on the train to return home until he "prays with a desperate-looking stranger."

In Trinidad, Willaim says there is "a spirit of oppression, a heaviness over that neighborhood. There is an adversary that opposes any spirit of God. To me, it's crystal clear that it's not people we're up against—it's a spiritual deal."

Follow the link provided to read more about how this courageous man and his family were called to minister in Washington's inner city.
Source: Michelle Boorstein - Washington Post [http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/20/AR2008122000502.html]

Breaking Christian News | 310 2nd Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97321 | Phone: (541)928-2642 | Email: editor@breakingchristiannews.com

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Reindeer For Sale

From the GCF Archives -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------------

Nine white reindeer. Male. Range in age from 5-13 years. TB and brucellosis tested; current on all vaccinations, vet-checked and come with health certificates and guarantee of flight. Lead deer has dermatological condition which is chronic, but doesn't seem to affect pulling ability or visual accuracy. One owner. $2,000.00 apiece/ first $17,000 takes all. Tired of the cold weather and moving to Phoenix.

Please contact: Mr. S. Claus, snc@workshop.arc.npole
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Holiday Eating Tips

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later then you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years, You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa. Position yourself near them, and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean have some standards, mate.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Politically Correct Holiday Greetings

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------

To all my Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all;

PLUS

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or choice of computer platform.

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

To all my Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Gift Suggestions

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------

I you have an "Automotive Minded" Person in your life, these gift suggestions should be considered.

1. Tire Air Change Kit. This kit comes with everything you need to change the air in your tires. This highly recommended but often overlooked maintenance item is much easier now. Remember to change your air every 3000 miles or twice a year. $25

2. Blinker Fluid. You knew it existed but, WOW, is this stuff hard to find. 4oz bottle. $12

3. Synthetic Blinker Fluid. Better yet! 4oz bottle. $24

4. Light Bulb Filaments. Why throw away a perfectly good turn signal or stop light bulb when you can just install a new filament? Premium Filaments, made in the USA! $1 ea.

5. Manifold Heat. Yes, your exhaust manifold should be HOT. If it's not, you may need this item. Sold by the pound. $3.50

6. Steering Wheel Gaskets. All SIZES available! Email for specific application. From $9.99

7. Tie Rod Tensioner. Is your tie rod limp? Tension it with T-50! $14.99

8. Alternator Batteries. (4 required, replace them all!) From $2.99

9. Fan Belt Buckles. Specify brass or chrome. Gold available special order. $14.99

10. Muffler Bearing Manual. Print version $59.95

11. Muffler Bearing Manual. CD version $49.99

12. Universal Muffler Bearing Tool Kit $105.59

13. Muffler Bearing Hi Temp Synthetic Lube (the only kind we sell!) $40.24

14. Muffler Bearings From $19.95

15. Muffler Bearing Gasket Kits From $9.99

16. Momentum (required for tackling some off road obstacles). Sold by the lb-ft/sec $0.50

17. Microsoft Windows Eliminator. If your car or truck begins to run poorly, (long time to start, frequent crashes, etc.), it's computer, (ecm, ecu, black box, etc.), may have become infected with this nasty computer virus. This product will safely remove the virus. $199

18. Mirror Image Flipper Film. Did you know that the image you see in your rear view mirrors are reversed! This is a manufacturing flaw that the auto companies have kept secret for years as the recall would cost BILLIONS! This film can be cut and placed over any mirror to correct the image. Now you'll be able to read signs in the rear view mirror! $5 per square ft.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Santa's Reindeer

From the GCF Archives -Tom
---------------------------------------
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (which are the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so). Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had to be a female.

We should have known this when they were able to find their way.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No endangered insects \ /
\ _/ well, almost no rare insects \_ /
/ /were destroyed in composing this email.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If evolution really works, \ /
\ _/ how come mothers \_ /
/ / only have two hands? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do they call it \ /
\ _/ a TV set \_ /
/ / when you only get one? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I love cooking with wine. \ /
\ _/ Sometimes I even put \_ /
/ / it in the food. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Never test the depth \ /
\ _/ of the water with both feet. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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A Dieter's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all around my hips Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash, Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash. The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear: A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick, I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear: On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS A Weight Watchers dropout from sugar detox.

>From the top of the scales to the top of the hall Now dash away pounds, now dash away all. Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress, My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly. I spoke not a word but went straight to my work, Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn, I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned. I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry: If temptation's removed, I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned in for the night In the morning I'll starve... 'till I take that first bite!

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Bumper Sticker

/* Merry Christmas from GCFL! */

Don't like my driving?
Call 1-800-NO GIFTS

- Bumper sticker on Santa's sleigh

Received from Daniel Galvin.

(-:][:-)

Christmas Holiday

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.

They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night -- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Received from Donald Pohlner.

(-:][:-)

Christmas Angel

It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn't. Santa was really angry. It was Christmas Eve, and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.

Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world just a few hours from now, and all my reindeer are drunk, my elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind him. "Yo, Santa," he said, "where do you want me to stick the Christmas tree this year?"

And thus the tradition of angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass...

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Martha Stewart Christmas Wish

Dear Santa,

I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers, or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.

I want to slap Martha Stewart.

Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it.

Don't grant this wish just for me -- do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all.

Those of us leading average, garden-variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style, for dinner.

We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold, unless it's of the furniture polish variety.

We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.

OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush, you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.

We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's ordered it only once), she also refuses to eat it cold. When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."

The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What's next? The coffee maker?

In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher, that qualifies as "put away" in my house!

Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves, mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.

She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the twenty-first century," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."

Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation.

Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright, and Maya Angelou, no doubt).

The proof of Martha's influence: After she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha said, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge. (Or maybe, on second thought....)

A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs and to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.

If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?

When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back.

"Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha. And of her Web page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives.

There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year. You probably want to smack her yourself.

Received from Just For Fun.

(-:][:-)

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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2006/11/06/office-party-follies/ - - Office Party Follies
There are few “fun” activities quite so vexing as the Office Christmas Party; that obligatory gathering of bosses and subordinates, cronies and rivals, back-stabbers and back-stabbees. Plus a horde of husbands and wives who spend the entire night planning their escape.

Every year you fantasize about sending an RSVP marked "Thanks, but no thanks." Then you return to reality and break the news to your spouse. "It'll be different this time," you lie. "It'll be fun."

"I'll go to yours, if you'll go to mine," your mate responds. "And you have to promise to behave."

This brings us to the art of gaffe avoidance. After all, who isn't but one faux pas from the unemployment line? Dodging the pitfalls of office party protocol can be a daunting challenge. But with the help of this agreement, you'll survive yet another function with your job intact.

AGREEMENT entered into on ____________, by Husband and Wife (collectively referred to as "Couple").

WHEREAS, Couple's employers suffer from the delusion that Office Christmas Parties are good for morale;

WHEREAS, Couple, being sane individuals, would prefer to stay home; and

WHEREAS, although Couple can't prove a connection, everyone who skipped last year's bash is now unemployed.

NOW, THEREFORE, Couple hereby agrees to the following office party guidelines:

GENERAL GUIDELINES

1. Husband and Wife shall dress appropriately and shall be on their best behavior at all times. However, if Husband ever again advises casual attire for a black tie affair, Wife's promise shall be null and void.

2. Wife won't criticize the food, if Husband refrains from eating three desserts.

3. Neither spouse shall over-imbibe unless the other forgot to mention that spouses weren't invited.

4. The following behavior shall be avoided:

a. Acting too distant.

b. Acting too friendly.

c. Refusing to dance with the boss.

d. Asking the boss to dance.

e. Failing to laugh at the boss's jokes.

HUSBAND'S BEHAVIOR AT WIFE'S PARTY

1. Husband shall not say anything sexist, such as the following:

a. "So you're the little woman's new manager. Tell me. How do you put up with her?"

b. "Aren't you the fellow they passed over to promote my wife? Affirmative action strikes again, heh?"

c. "I have to hand it to you -- I couldn't report to a woman."

d. "So you're the guy my Wife's been working late with on that new project. That is what you've been doing, isn't it?" (Wink, wink)

e. "I can't believe you put my wife in charge of the budget. She can't even balance our check book. (Ha ha.)"

Additionally, Husband shall not turn to Wife and say "How come you can't cook me a meal like this?"

2. Husband shall be diplomatic and refrain from saying any of the following:

a. "For a tightwad, you sure throw one hell of a bash. Just between us guys, how much did it set you back?"

b. "You promoted her just in time. She was working on her resume."

c. "So you're the fellow my Wife keeps complaining about. You seem nice enough to me."

d. "I hate these things. Don't you?" (Last year Husband said this to the President's wife.)

3. Husband shall not use Wife's party to promote his business by shoving cards or flyers under napkins. Nor shall he whip out a calculator and offer to save the Chairman "big bucks" on printing.

4. Husband shall not feign expertise -- especially about Wife's boss's business. Nor shall he say: "I sure was glad to hear you liked my Wife's new marketing plan. It was my idea, you know."

WIFE'S BEHAVIOR AT HUSBAND'S PARTY

1. Wife shall not view the party as a feminist forum. Accordingly, she shall not ask Husband's boss why the only women present are wives and data entry clerks.

2. Wife shall not ask Husband's manager to hire Couple's son. Nor shall she say: "When are you going to give my hubby a raise? The poor guy makes less than I do."

3. Wife shall not complain about being stuck talking to the women. Nor shall she brag about being too busy to clean or cook ... even though it's true.

4. Wife shall not appoint herself official no-smoking enforcer ... except for cigars.

5. Wife shall not become irate just because a few couples brought their kids. However, pique is permissible under the following circumstances:

a. Wife becomes the target of a mashed-potato match.

b. Wife is seated next to a high chair.

c. Vomit.

6. Wife shall not spend the entire evening flirting with Husband's boss. Unless, of course, it gets Husband a bonus.

FINAL BRACING THOUGHT

As Husband and Wife peek at their watches, waiting for the festivities to end, they shall keep one thought in mind: A command appearance at your office Christmas party means you're still gainfully employed.

WHEREFORE, we affix our signatures:

(Husband)___________________ (Wife)___________________

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Jesus is Better than Santa

Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.

Santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

Santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help.

Santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs.

Santa comes down your chimney uninvited
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. And then enters your heart.

You have to stand in line to see Santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

Santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.

Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?"
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love.

All Santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers health, help and hope.

Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.

Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.

Santa may make you chuckle but
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.

While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.

It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Thanks to Sarah Shepherd
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Daily Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries

DECEMBER 23

BIBLE MEDITATION:
"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not." 1 John 3:1

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:
You are rich! Jesus became son of man, that we might become sons of God. We are saved because of the grace of Christmas. That is not rhetoric -- that is reality! A little boy was talking about eternal security and said, "I am held in His hand." A cynic responded, "What if you slip through His hands?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you," the boy replied, "I'm one of His fingers." You are rich, my friend.

ACTION POINT:
Amidst all the materialism that sometimes chokes out the true meaning of Christmas, take some time to share this Good News with someone today.

Share devotional with a friend
http://www.lwf.org/site/R?i=8zwJ83M9ixeiPEMgfv392g..

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Purchase
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Become a partner of LWF
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This Month's Offer
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Do you know Jesus?
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------------------------------------------------------
Devotions taken from the messages of Adrian Rogers.

Copyright 2006, Love Worth Finding Ministries ®. All Rights Reserved
P.O.Box 38400, Memphis, TN 38183-0400

Thanks to David Lamb
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Some of Mac's favorite quotes:

When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.
-Jacob A. Riis

Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick.
Laurence Shames

Chance favors those in motion.
James H. Austin

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push.
Joann Thomas

When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace.
J. Lubbock

The strongest warriors are these two...time and patience.
Leo Tolstoy

Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.
Jim Rohn

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.
Unknown

The nose of the bulldog is slanted backwards so he can continue to breathe without letting go.
Winston Churchill

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting golden delicious.
Bill Meyer

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We learn to walk by stumbling.
Bulgarian Proverb

It’s our attitude in life that determines life’s attitude toward us.
Earl Nightingale

You can have anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want.
Zig Ziglar

Habits are first cobwebs, then cables.
Spanish Proverb

Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
John Wooden

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.
Theodore Isaac Rubin

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
Robert Louis Stevenson

I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse.
Florence Nightingale

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.
Frederick B. Wilcox

[http://store.simpletruths.com/shared/StoreFront/default.asp?CS=simplet&StoreType=BtoC&Count1=760311305&Count2=677451729&ProductID=1325&Target=products.asp]
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 9 22 Dec 2008

TV on Your PC / Registry Cleaners / Zune Update / Memory Boost In today's TOURBUS, you'll learn how to watch TV on your PC, and how NOT to do it. And what about registry cleaners... do they really work? Also, get the scoop on the newest Zune music player, and find out how to maximize your computer's physical and virtual memory. Read on!

WATCH TV ON YOUR PC Did you know, there's a simple gadget that will effectively turn your computer into a television set and personal video recorder? Or that you can watch many of your favorite shows online? Whether you'd like to play your favorite episodes from a specific series or watch live shows from your favorite television channel, my simple guide to watching TV on your PC will tell you everything you need to know... [http://askbobrankin.com/watch_television_on_your_computer.html]

FREE REGISTRY CLEANERS Most geeks agree that occasional use of a registry cleaner will help your system run better. Learn about the Windows system registry, and check out my list of seven free registry cleaners. Oh, and make sure you learn a few important facts you should know about registry cleaners before attempting this at home... [http://askbobrankin.com/free_registry_cleaners.html]

WHAT'S NEW WITH ZUNE? Have you seen the new Zune 120 music player from Microsoft? Apple's iPod seems to be the de facto standard, but the latest Zune has a larger 3.2-inch screen, wifi connectivity and some other cool features that might tempt you. Check out the new Zune and learn about the Zune Pass all-you-can-eat music plan... [http://askbobrankin.com/whats_new_with_zune.html]

PUMP UP YOUR VIRTUAL MEMORY
Do you know the difference between physical memory and virtual memory? This article explains it all in plain English. You'll also get tips on how to maximize your virtual memory, and thereby boost the efficiency and performance of your Windows, Mac or Linux system... [http://askbobrankin.com/virtual_memory.html]

ADDING MEMORY TO YOUR COMPUTER Adding physical memory (RAM) to your computer is one of the most effective things you can do to pump new life into an older system. A decade ago, 64MB of RAM was considered plenty for everyday use. Today, that's laughably inadequate -- you need to think gigabytes now. Read this article to find out what RAM memory does, and how it's different than hard drive storage. You'll also learn how to find out how much RAM is in your computer, how and where to order the right kind of RAM, and then install it yourself!
[http://askbobrankin.com/adding_memory.html]

SEND HOLIDAY FLOWERS... FAST! In case you didn't know, in addition to publishing the TOURBUS newsletter, I also operate Flowers Fast! - an online flower and gift delivery service. Stop in and check out our beautiful holiday arrangements and gourmet gifts. I've tried hard to make the site fast and easy to navigate, and the prices will definitely save you money. Don't forget to use the "TOURBUS" coupon code to get your $5 discount, and please tell a friend about Flowers Fast! too.
Use Promo Code TOURBUS to Save $5 on your order!
[http://flowersfast.com/?TB]
+ ------------------------------------- +
POPULAR ARTICLES

• Send a Free Fax [http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html]
Learn how to send and receive faxes for free, using online fax services.

• Make Windows Run Faster [http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html]
Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.

• Free Calls With Skype [http://askbobrankin.com/free_calls_with_skype.html]
Skype is a software package that lets you make free calls to almost anyone, anywhere in the world. Here's how to get started...

• Free Internet Security Software [http://askbobrankin.com/should_i_buy_antispyware_or_antivirus_software.html]
Staying safe on the Internet doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my recommendations for the best FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and popup blocker software.
+ ------------------------------------- +
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year to everybody on the Bus. I really appreciate all the kind words from readers, and look forward to keeping the TOURBUS rolling into 2009! That's all for now, see you next time.
-- Bob Rankin
+ ------------------------------------- +
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2008, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Be Smarter & Better Looking Than [-99.386605-] Percent of Users The Best of Everything - http://www.InternetTourbus.com/best.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Home - http://www.InternetTourbus.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

Friday Blog Roundup| by Liz Borkowski | No comments

Bloggers are anticipating some new activities from the Obama administratiońs Health and Human Services team, while still keeping a close eye on what the Bush administration HHS is up to:

Jeff Goldsmith at the Health Affairs Blog [http://healthaffairs.org/blog/2008/12/15/daschle-what-can-we-expect-of-the-health-czar-in-waiting/] considers what we can expect from Tom Daschle, who Obama has picked as his “health czar.”

Maggie Mahar at Health Beat [http://www.healthbeatblog.org/2008/12/health-beat-readers-lets-get-involved-let-washington-know-what-we-think.html] urges readers to heed Daschlés call and host Health Care Community Discussions.

Merril Goozner at GoozNews [http://www.gooznews.com/archives/001274.html] explores the drug-industry issues that will face the person Obama picks to head FDA.

Emily Douglas at RH Reality Check [http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2008/12/18/hhs-publishes-provider-conscience-expansion-rule] reports on HHŚs publication of its rule broadening protections for health care providers who refuse to provide health care services based on religious or moral grounds.

Read the rest [http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/19/friday-blog-roundup-104/#more-3398]

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

State OK'd oil-pump site in June check, Independent federal agency to conduct probe after fatal blast in Marion County - - Oct 21 COLUMBUS, OH - An oil-pumping operation in Marion County that was the scene of a fatal explosion Sunday had been inspected nine times since 2002, most recently in June, and received good marks, a spokesman for the Ohio Department of Natural Resources said yesterday. "The site has always been shipshape and well-managed," said agency spokesman Ken Leach. Mar Oil Co., based in Alberta, Calgary, in western Canada, operates seven wells there, said Leach, whose agency's Mineral Resources Management Division regulates 64,000 oil and gas wells across Ohio. Investigators from the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration and other government agencies were at the scene yesterday of the oil-tank explosion and fire that killed two workers in northwestern Marion County on Sunday. Welding directly contributed to the ignition of the explosion, said Shane Cartmill, a spokesman for the state fire marshal. Local authorities said the two workers were welding a catwalk on one of four large crude-oil storage tanks when a tank exploded. Both died instantly. The explosion killed New Bloomington residents Jesse Price, 45, and Kevin Fout, 53, while they worked on a tank at the small oil-well operation on private property just off Rubins Road, near LaRue.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

01. Staff Sgt. Jonathan W. Dean, 25, of Henagar, Ala., died Dec. 20, in Bayji, Iraq, of injuries suffered in a non-combat related incident in Tikrit, Iraq. He was assigned to the 561st Military Police Company, 716th Military Police Battalion, 101st Sustainment Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

02. Pfc. Coleman W. Hinkefent, 19, of Coweta, Okla., died Dec. 20, 2008 in Homburg, Germany of a non-combat related illness. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

03. Lance Cpl. Thomas Reilly Jr., 19, of London, Ky., died Dec. 21 while supporting combat operations in Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, 3rd Marine Division, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Dec. 24 in Baghdad, of injuries sustained during a vehicle roll-over. The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 16th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
04. Staff Sgt. Christopher G. Smith, 28, of Grand Rapids, Mich.
05. Spc. Stephen M. Okray, 21, of St. Clair Shores, Mich.
06. Spc. Stephen G. Zapasnik, 19, of Broken Arrow, Okla.

07. Maj. John P. Pryor, 42, of Moorestown, N.J. died Dec. 25 in Mosul of wounds suffered when a mortar round impacted near his living quarters. He was assigned to the 1st Medical Detachment, Forward Surgical Team, Fort Totten, N.Y.
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
~~~~~
Quota International of Magnolia will have a New Year’s Eve gala and silent and live auction from 8:30 p.m. until 12:30 a.m. at the Magnolia Country Club. Attire is semiformal. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served. Tickets are $25. This is a fundraiser for Magnolia Hospital. For ticket information, call 234-0095. Tickets may be purchased from any member.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mat 22:15-18 Luke 20:37-38 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. The latest issue is usually updated sometime Saturday. For the "Blog" version just go to one of the several addresses on the web. For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat_q__.blogspot.com, where _ is the quarter (1, 2, 3, or 4) and __ is the year (05, 06, 07, or 08). We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at kc5hii@suddenlink.net and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2008 before it was sent.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Tree Care - - Photos

  Josiah David Malone
  He knows how to open presents.
  And, he knows how to operate his fire helmet.

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Tree Care

  "Bug" and his Bride
  Ethan's Aunt Connie made sure he had some presents to open.
  Josiah seemed to like his fire helmet

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Tree Care

  Donna, Sondra & Annette circa 1981
  Da Boys
  Mike Rowe
  Ricky and Sarah Shepherd

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Tree Care

Volume 10, Issue 51 Friday, December 19, 2008

Hello All,

Merry Christmas. We missed last week’s issue because we were in Fayetteville, AR at Jo Ann and Brandon Clark’s wedding. Then, Sunday, we had Angel Tree at MCC and Monday Annette, Robert, Verna and Sim had the Wade Prison Ministry Christmas Party.
It’s a busy season, but one filled with joy. The wedding was in Christian Life Cathedral, on a hill top overlooking the US 71 valley in north Fayetteville. We were very glad we made the loooonnnnnggg trip up there. Jo Ann was a beautiful bride and we’re confident she and Brandon will make our Lord proud. And, the prison ministry had 67 inmates for their party Monday night. These folks have lost almost everything but still find joy in giving to each other. Annette returned home, in rough physical shape from the demands of the trip but full of the Joy of the Lord.
~~~~~
It’s a rough time for our community as well as the nation. Friday, more local workers were laid off and news from surrounding communities is pretty much the same. One bright spot is the report that the Cooper Tire Plant in Texarkana will stay open due to efforts of the state, city, management and the union.
Meanwhile, anyone watching the news has to be concerned at the pace of business closings and cutbacks. Chemtura in Union County announced another 25 folks laid off this week. The oil production industry, one of our local stalwarts, is slowing dramatically as prices fall. And, of course construction has slowed considerably. All of these will come back when the economy recovers, but that could be months or longer.
Remember two quotes: “All we have to fear is fear itself” - FDR and “I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread”. Psalm 37:25
Maybe it would be a good time to really look at that bible quotation. “I have been young, and now I am old, but I have never seen a righteous person ... yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. ...”
Read it and allow God’s word to seep into your thoughts. Let’s read it in several translations (thanks to [http://bible.cc/psalms/37-25.htm]
New American Standard Bible (©1995) - - I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread.
GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) - - I have been young, and now I am old, but I have never seen a righteous person abandoned or his descendants begging for food.
King James Bible - - I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
American King James Version - - I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
American Standard Version - - I have been young, and now am old; Yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his seed begging bread.
Bible in Basic English - - I have been young, and now am old, but I have not seen the good man without help, or his children looking for bread.
Douay-Rheims Bible - - I have been young, and now am old; and I have not seen the just forsaken, nor his seed seeking bread.
Darby Bible Translation - - I have been young, and now am old, and I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed seeking bread:
English Revised Version - - I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging their bread.
Webster's Bible Translation - - I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
World English Bible - - I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his children begging for bread.
Young's Literal Translation - - Young I have been, I have also become old, And I have not seen the righteous forsaken, And his seed seeking bread.
Let’s look at a couple of commentaries.
Geneva Study Bible
I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his {r} seed begging bread.
(r) Though the just man die, yet God's blessings are extended to his posterity and though God suffer some just man to lack temporal benefits, yet he recompenses him with spiritual treasures.
Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary
37:21-33 The Lord our God requires that we do justly, and render to all their due. It is a great sin for those that are able, to deny the payment of just debts; it is a great misery not to be able to pay them. He that is truly merciful, will be ever merciful. We must leave our sins; learn to do well, and cleave to it. This is true religion. The blessing of God is the spring, sweetness, and security of all earthly enjoyments. And if we are sure of this, we are sure not to want anything good for us in this world. By his grace and Holy Spirit, he directs the thoughts, affections, and designs of good men. By his providence he overrules events, so as to make their way plain. He does not always show them his way for a distance, but leads them step by step, as children are led. God will keep them from being ruined by their falls, either into sin or into trouble, though such as fall into sin will be sorely hurt. Few, if any, have known the consistent believer, or his children, reduced to abject, friendless want. God forsakes not his saints in affliction; and in heaven only the righteous shall dwell for ever; that will be their everlasting habitation. A good man may fall into the hands of a messenger of Satan, and be sorely buffeted, but God will not leave him in his enemy's hands.
~
Don’t let the times get you down. God loves you and will bless you and yours. My life and the life of my family is proof of his love. If you’re having trouble, believing, look to Philemon1: 6 "That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus."
Remember what God has done for you and you can be confident that he will do that and more for you in the times to come.
And just like FDR said; “But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, ... he who formed you, ... "Fear not, for ... you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1
~~~~~
Angel Tree still needs your help! They have serviced 423 angels in our area and have more to go. Donations, shoppers, wrappers, or anything would be VERY VERY helpful. Please e-mail Shannin, smschroeder@saumag.edu if you can help out in any way!
Merry Christmas!!!!
Alliance of Columbia County
Magnolia-Columbia County Chamber of Commerce
Magnolia Economic Development Corporation
529 E Main
Magnolia, AR 71753 -/- 870-234-4352 -/- 870-234-9291 (f)
~~~~~
Our favorite banker, local emergency responder and steak cooker, Danny Fitzpatrick has retired from Summit bank. Best wishes to Danny and his family as he now has more time to devote to tasks that use his best skill, helping others as an emergency responder and cook.
~~~~~
Speaking of bankers. Danny is the kind of banker we wish all of them were. We wouldn’t be bailing out banks now if they were all run by guys like Danny.
When I was in first grade, my anemia became worse and, after months in the hospital, they operated on me to help control the progress of this disease. My mom was a widow, working as a waitress but she’d not worked for the months I was hospitalized. I can only guess at the sacrifices of my extended family that allowed her to stay in Little Rock with me. The hospital stay and surgery cost $28,000 1958 dollars. But thanks to Mr. W.C. Blewister of 1st National Bank in Magnolia, she was able to pay the hospital and surgeons and I’m still here to write about it.
Mr. Blewister was another banker, like Danny who truly cared for the people he dealt with. If those bankers involved in the “sub prime loan” mess were like Danny or Mr. Blewister, they’d have figured out how to help those folks and, in turn, help their banks.
Instead, they loaned money to folks that couldn’t afford it for things they didn’t need, raking in the interest and fees without a thought to the lives that hung in the balance. Then, when the folks got in trouble, they foreclosed on them instead of working out a way for the people to keep their homes.
The sad thing is, we’re all paying the price for these folks lack of ethics.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, Southern Arkansas University had hired Texarkana's Bill Keopple as its next football coach. We really liked Steve Quinn and hated to see him go, but Bill sounds like just what the Dr. ordered for SAU’s program. Keopple recently completed his sixth season at Texarkana, where he led the high school to Arkansas state championships in 2006 and 2007. He has 25 years of coaching experience, including stops at Arkansas, Central Arkansas, Boise State and Tulsa during 18 years as a college assistant.
~~~~~
[http://www.gimp.org/]. [http://www.gimp.org/tutorials/].
~~~~~
I stumbled across this "Family Tree" information recently on the internet.

My great grandfather was William Franklin MCCLELLAN who was born 9 NOV 1843. He died 22 MAR 1925
My great grandmother was Emma S. ROBERTS who was born 8 APR 1850 in East Carroll Parish, Louisiana she died 4 AUG 1920
They had 12 children, six of them listed as “unknown” (may have died as infants.) The six surviving siblings were:
George M. MCCLELLAN was born: APR 1878 and died: 15 OCT 1968. George Married Edna CARTER who was born 11 JUN 1885 and died: 25 AUG 1903. George had 3 children; Ada MCCLELLAN born: 8 FEB 1902 and died: 10 OCT 1903, Effie MCCLELLAN, And Loid Otto MCCLELLAN born: 23 DEC 1905 died: 18 JUN 1907
James Lawton MCCLELLAN (my grandfather) born: 15 SEP 1878 and died: 10 DEC 1942
Walter Ivy MCCLELLAN born: 22 SEP 1881 died: 9 DEC 1956 Walter Married Mattie Lula JOHNSON born: 19 MAR 1888 died: 4 APR 1975. They had three children, Letha MCCLELLAN (who married Melvin C. RITTER), Douglas Alton MCCLELLAN and James Travis MCCLELLAN
C. D. MCCLELLAN born: SEP 1883
C. P. MCCLELLAN born: JUN 1886
E. C. MCCLELLAN born: MAY 1892

My grandfather, (James Lawton MCCLELLAN who was born: 15 SEP 1878 in Bossier Parish, Louisiana died 10 DEC 1942 in Cotton Valley, Webster Parish, Louisiana) married my grandmother (Argin MOORE who was born: 30 NOV 1880 in Sarepta, Webster Parish, Louisiana)
They had seven children;
Lera MCCLELLAN (Hudson) who had a son, Jim Pop Hudson
James Curtis MCCLELLAN who had a son, James Fort McClellan
Leroy MCCLELLAN, who had a son Roy Stel McClellan
Hershel MCCLELLAN, who had two daughters Billie and Jeanene I haven't seen them in years
Thelma “Sis” MCCLELLAN (Simmons) who had a daughter, Lynn Simmons
Thurman "Funny" MCCLELLAN who had a son, Donald McClellan and daughter Sue McClellan
Donald MCCLELLAN, who had a son Thurman Ralph McClellan

My dad was James Curtis MCCLELLAN

My Grand Father (James Lawton MCCLELLAN) built a home in Cotton Valley where my dad, James Curtis McClellan was born.

My Great Grand Father (William Franklin MCCLELLAN) was a twin brother from NC. He and his brother were orphans, raised by an aunt. They fought for the south at Vicksburg and during the battle they became separated. After the war, my Great Grandfather returned to NC but there was family left living there, so he returned to LA. He never found his brother.
~~~~~
Chad Thornton of AmerCable notified us of the death of Harry Beemer, our friend and long-time supporter of the Environmental & Safety Committee. Harry was a former employee of AmerCable. Harry had planned most of our E & S committee programs for the past year or so.

Harry Beemer, age 63, of Camden, died December 4, 2008 at the John McClellan Veterans Memorial Hospital in Little Rock. He was an Army Veteran of the Vietnam War. He was a member of the St. Mark United Methodist Church. Mr. Beemer was secretary for the Safety and Hazard Organization and a member of the Explosive Ordinance Division. He is preceded in death by his father, Alvin Beemer. He is survived by his wife, Connie Beemer of Camden; mother, Rose Beemer of Camden; stepson, Anthony Kuntz and wife, Juanita of Hampton; stepdaughter, Riva Jean Dodson and husband, Earl of Camden; brothers, Chet Beemer and wife, Jackie of Alliance, NE and Dale Beemer of Albemarle, NC; grandsons, Jessie Sloan of Hampton and Seth Dodson of Camden; and granddaughters, Autumn Kuntz of Hampton and India Dodson of Camden.
Memorials may be made to the St. Mark United Methodist Church; U. S. O, or to the Disabled American Veterans. To sign the online guest register visit www.proctorfuneralhome.com
~~~~~
We released our first issue of the AR-1 DMAT News this week. If you’re interested in helping during a disaster and have almost any skills, contact us at http://ar1dmat.com/
~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAckfn8yiAQ Thanks to Gary Foreman
~~~~~
Can you spell Cholera?
~
Aging water system poses problems; chlorination needed
An outbreak of salmonella in Alamosa, Colo., this year should serve as wake-up call about the "aging and rusting" infrastructure that is delivering drinking water to homes around the country, and about the need for water chlorination, writes Dr. Chris J. Wiant of the Colorado Water Quality Control Commission in this Rocky Mountain News commentary. Alamosa's water supply was considered to be high-quality, but it wasn't chlorinated, and that made it susceptible to the deteriorating underground storage facility, Wiant writes, noting that similar problems could pop up anyplace where water is not chlorinated. Rocky Mountain News [http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/dec/08/wiant-lets-be-vigilant-about-aging-water-system/]

~~~~~
Here’s my Christmas list for you late, last chance, gift givers. If you don’t want to buy me a gift, use the list to treat a friend or loved one.
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)

Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, AA
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (up to three of them)
Craft Kit, Picture Frame, to construct 11"x14" frames.
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA
Digital Video Recorder
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
Handkerchiefs
“Happy Birthday” Jesus Offering
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
Non-skid toilet rug
Oven Thermometer
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or workbench.
Socks (the $30 a pair kind)
Some Warm-up Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
USB “Thumb Drive”
VHS - DVD Recorder
~
And, for the more wheel healed gift giver, here’s my list of very expensive gifts.:
MOTOART C-119 Coffee Table or MotoArt B-25 Bomber Desk or
727 GalleyBar.
Humvee
My dream, a Hasselblad H3D-31 kit (camera body, viewfinder, and 80mm lens) is now offered at a new, lower price of only $15,203.66
or, an even better deal, the Hasselblad 503CWD Limited Edition, Digital SLR with a 16 MP Back. This retro design features Victor Hasselblad’s engraved signature. And a 1Gb CF card. All for less than $11,000. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasselblad]
~~~~~
Don’t forget to use GoodSearch [http://www.goodsearch.com/] when you search the Internet!
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - December 19, 2008
This is my Bon Voyage message. As you read this, I'm making my way to Africa where I imagine I will spend one very special holiday. Check out today's story and yesterday's blog to learn more about my trip. This promises to be a Christmas unlike any other--I'm headed to Africa where I will spend the holiday with a very special group of young girls. I get to meet the girls at Hakima Place. [http://www.hekimaplace.org/]
[http://darynkagan.demo.nimbussoftware.com/over60/stories/ov_080804_kenyanschool.html]
~~~~~
We picked up our Albemarle Christmas Ham Thursday and Annette is looking forward to feeding the family with it. Thanks to the company for this great Ham.
~~~~~
Each week the Defense Department highlights military personnel who have gone above and beyond in the war. [http://www.defenselink.mil/heroes/] - - Jean-Paul Courville - Hometown: New Orleans, LA
Awarded: Bronze Star - In April 2004, Gunnery Sergeant Jean-Paul Courville not only proved his leadership skills but also his courage and tactical abilities as he led a team during battles in Karmah Iraq.

The New Orleans native was responsible for providing ammunition and water resupply to K Company, 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, First Marine Division in Fallujah/Karmah. However, during several hours of fighting to suppress and destroy enemy fighters with F-15 Eagle 20mm gun runs that were dangerously close, Courville fearlessly led a team of heavy machine gun high mobility multi-purpose wheeled vehicles and two amphibious armored vehicles to support Company K with casualty evacuation and machine gun fires.

With this success in al Karmah, the urban combat was far from over. Courville repeatedly entered the most dangerous areas of the battle to provide support, direct machinegun fire, ammunition, and water resupply. On April 13, during more than eight hours of fierce urban fighting, four fellow Marines were shot and a reinforced squad was thrown from their overturned 7-ton vehicle. During the ensuing battle, Courville personally rescued the squad during the night insertion. He led the team through more than 200 enemy fighters to conduct four separate missions to evacuate Marines wounded during the fighting. His bold action and rapid care under fire enabled all Marines to survive even though helicopter evacuation was not feasible.

Kilo Company (reinforced) was then tasked to attack and clear into the eastern flank of the city of al Fallujah. Manpower was short but Courville was undaunted. He assumed the difficult dual role as Company first sergeant and Company gunnery sergeant and was instrumental in preparing the Company for the task. Approximately 500 meters into the city, Kilo Company encountered an entrenched enemy who was determined to fight to the end. During an extensive battle with this enemy, Courville disregarded his own safety as he ensured his fellow Marines were adequately supplied with ammunition, water and motivation.

Later during the assault, Courville saw a family trapped within a building that was covered with flames and smoke. Somehow the family, weakly waving a white flag from a window, had managed to survive. He quickly assessed the situation as desperate and led his team to the burning building to lead the family to safety one by one. Bringing up the rear, Gunnery Sergeant Courville picked up two of the children and sprinted across the danger area that was regularly raked by enemy machine gun fire.

For these heroic achievements, Gunnery Sergeant Courville received the Bronze Star Medal Combat Distinguishing Device.
~
Alex Houston - Hometown: Knoxville, TN
Awarded: Bronze Star - In most ways, Army Capt. Alex Houston is like any other Army commander. He comes to work every day ready to lead and set the standard for the soldiers who work for him. He diligently performs all of his administrative duties as the 21st Signal Brigade Headquarters and Headquarters Company commander, and he gets down and dirty with the unit during company physical training. He jokes with his staff, and even has been known to sing off-key for them.

And he does this all as a wounded warrior. As a platoon leader in Iraq, Houston lost his left hand when his convoy was attacked during a night mission.

The electricity was going on and off while his 1st Cavalry Division unit was on patrol, Houston recalled. “It was so dark -- the kind of dark that you can’t even see your hand in front of your face,” he said. As the lights flickered off, the unit’s battalion commander came under fire from enemy forces. Although others were in the area, Houston said, he was trained to step up as the ranking officer on the mission, and he headed into the battle to support his commander. He took charge, and while on the radio, he also took a hit.

“There was melted metal all around my hand, and shrapnel went through my arm,” he said, “but I was still on the radio giving information to headquarters.” His duty came before the pain, he said, and his faith in God allowed him to remain calm and accomplish the mission of getting the convoy through the area. “After everyone came over to see how I was, I kept saying, ‘I’m OK.’ And I was,” he said.

He was rushed to the combat support hospital, and doctors later told him they couldn’t save his hand. The division commander presented his Purple Heart while he was still sedated in the combat hospital. “I just said ‘Hooah,’” said Houston, “and they saw the soldier in me.”

Houston spent about a year recovering at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. While there, he had access to many programs that helped wounded warriors transition into the civilian job market. But, when the Army asked him if he wanted to stay in, he said he knew his answer was yes. Houston, who started out as an enlisted soldier, already had made a commitment to a career in the Army. “I made a decision a long time ago that I’m going to give 100 percent,” he said. His injury has not been an impediment at all. According to 21st Signal Brigade Commander Col. Theresa Coles, “He’s a true testament to the Warrior Ethos.”
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings from Afghanistan,

The heavy fighting has ended for 2008, but the real kick-off for this war likely will occur around March or April 2009. The enemy has been busy working on our logistics shipments through Pakistan. About 200 trucks were reportedly burned in the last two days.

Counterinsurgency "experts" who make field trips to Afghanistan seem to go home with Kool Aide dripping off their lips. A reasonable observer might say that any "expert" who did not see these problems growing by early 2006, should be stricken from the list of reliable sources.

Please click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/afghanistan-the-war-grows.htm] for a short dispatch.
~~
What does the air above Afghanistan smell like? Ask NASA. [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/sniffer.htm]
~~
I joined an entourage with Secretary Gates in Afghanistan. We flew to Bahrain for the Manama Dialogue, then to Iraq and finally back to Andrews Air Force Base. I am in Bethesda, Maryland with plans for meetings in Washington. Among those meetings are two hours scheduled with General (ret.) Barry McCaffrey. His observations on Iraq and Afghanistan have proven reliable, and so we plan to spend one hour on Iraq, and the second hour on Afghanistan. 2009 will be a long year for me in Afghanistan, with shorter excursions to Iraq, and talks with key thinkers like General McCaffrey can be very helpful.

Dispatches are in the works about both Afghanistan and this important trip with Secretary Gates.

Meanwhile, please click for a few photos:

Afghanistan: The War Grows [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/afghanistan-the-war-grows.htm]

Sniff Test [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/sniffer.htm]

Dumb Signs [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/signs.htm]
~~
Greetings from Bethesda,

I love being on American soil. America! So great to be here.

But soon it will be back to the war.

National Review's Kathryn Lopez posted this interview subsequent my trip with Secretary of Defense Robert Gates:

Please Click [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/national-review-interview.htm] to read Interview

V/R, Your correspondent,
Michael
Http://www.michaelyon-online.com/index.php
~~~~~
Christmas will be coming soon and we encourage you to remember our U.S. Service men and women. If you know a service person, send them a card and/or a letter.
Thank them for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.
~~~~~
America is not at war. The military is at war. - - America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.
~~~~~
GCF: The Silent Ranks (Serious, Not Humor)

The email for tonight has been sent and now I turn to one of those serious emails that I send on occasion.

For several years now, in one of those few moments which are not meant to be humorous, I have sent a copy of "The Soldier's Night Before Christmas" as a serious piece intended to recognize those individuals serving in the military forces overseas and to provide general addresses to which letters could be sent to let these service personnel know that they are not forgotten and that they are appreciated. That particular posting can be found at the Good Clean Fun web site in the Seasonal Archive. The direct web address is:

[http://kcbx.net/~tellswor/sldrxmas.htm]

I encourage you to read that piece. The author has been provided and the words are just as important now as they were when it was first sent in 1997.
This year, I would like to share the other side of the coin, specifically the spouses of those serving in the military. This poem was sent to me by a reader of Good Clean Fun (Thanks, Rachell). While the poem itself is directed to wives, it applies just as much to any spouse of someone serving in the military. Let's not forget that the family who stays behind makes a sacrifice, too.
Note: I recently found out the identity of the author. This was written by Shiela Gault. She wrote it while her son, James, was serving in the US Army in Kosovo. Shiela's poem won the Editor's Choice award from the International Library of Poetry in 2000.

- Tom
------------------------------------------------

The Silent Ranks

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man.
and the call to serve his country not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.

I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Military Wife.

--Shiela Gault

--------------------------------------
Messages of Support:

You don't have to look too far to know of someone deployed overseas ... perhaps a member of your own family, or the family of a co-worker or friend. Let's not forget them this holiday season. I know the joy which results by receiving messages from "home". This year is it even easier than taking pen to paper. You can do it on the Internet.

Here are two web sites that can help.
The first is America Supports You [http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/americasupportsyou/index.aspx]
Listed there several links. One can be used to send messages of support to our troops overseas. This service is free.
The second is Let's Say Thanks! [http://www.letssaythanks.com/]
Let's Say Thanks is a service of Xerox Corporation and is also free. It is a web site that allows you to send a FREE printed postcard to U.S. servicemen and women stationed overseas. All you do is pick your favorite card, enter your message and then Xerox does the rest! You can't choose to whom the card is sent, but it will go to a member of the armed services.

Make a soldier's day today!
----------------------------------------------
As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer:
"Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in Your loving hands and protect them as they protect us."
Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before, in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.
~~~~~
Over the last two weeks we watched [Ratings are my own]:
God Grew Tired of Us: The Story of Lost Boys of Sudan (2006) [6.4] Starring Panther Bior ... John Bul Dau ... Nicole Kidman ... Daniel Abol Pach ...
Miss Potter (2006) [9.3] Starring Renée Zellweger ... Ewan McGregor ... Emily Watson
Sydney White (2007) [6.4] Starring Amanda Bynes ... Sara Paxton ... John Schneider
Hancock (2008) [8.5] Starring Will Smith ... Charlize Theron ... Jason Bateman ... Jae Head
The Prince & Me 3: A Royal Honeymoon (2008) [5.8] Starring Kam Heskin ... Chris Geere ... Adam Croasdell ...
It Happened One Night (1934) [8.4] Starring Clark Gable ... Claudette Colbert ... Walter Connolly ... Roscoe Karns ... Alan Hale
Sense and Sensibility (1995) [9.1] Starring Kate Winslet ... Emma Thompson ... Hugh Grant ... Robert Hardy ... Alan Rickman ... Greg Wise
Pride & Prejudice (2005) [8.5] Starring Keira Knightley ... Talulah Riley ... Rosamund Pike ... Donald Sutherland ... Matthew Macfadyen
~~~~~
Over the last two weeks we read; The eight : a novel / Katherine Neville. - - Forever blue / Suzanne Brockmann.
We’re currently reading; The fire : a novel / Katherine Neville.
We intend to read; T is for trespass / Sue Grafton. - - The Charlemagne pursuit : a novel / Steve Berry. - - The devil's eye / Jack McDevitt.
We recommend: The Faith: Chuck Colson
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include various pics of Josiah’s 5th birthday party. It was a pirate party with lots of friends and a fire helmet that Papaw and Mamaw gave him.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Last quarter’s issues can be seen at http://www.bugsbleat3q08.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
If you want to see more photos of April’s train wreck in Magnolia, go to http://www.bugsbleattw.blogspot.com/
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Dr. Pat Antoon’s Address:
Pat Antoon 06669-010
Federal Prison Camp
P.O. Box 9300
Texarkana, TX 75505
Be sure and keep him in your prayers.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - - - Easy Roasted Pork - 8 servings

1 boneless pork roast (3 lb.)
3/4 cup KRAFT CATALINA Dressing, divided
4 medium each: potatoes, beets, onions and carrots, quartered

PREHEAT oven to 350̊F. Place pork in large lightly greased roasting pan; brush with 1/2 cup of the dressing.

PLACE vegetables in large bowl. Add remaining 1/4 cup dressing; toss to coat. Add potatoes and beets to pork in pan. Bake 15 min. Remove pan from oven.

ADD onions and carrots to ingredients in pan. Bake 1-1/2 hours or until pork is cooked through (160̊F), basting occasionally with the pan juices. Let stand 10 min. before cutting pork into slices. Serve with the vegetables.

Always purchase meat towards the end of a shopping trip so that it is out of refrigeration for the shortest time possible. Take home and refrigerate promptly. It is a good idea to put packages of raw meat in plastic bags to avoid any leakage onto other foods, especially produce.

Nutrition Information
Calories 380
Total fat 11 g
Saturated fat 3 g
Cholesterol 100 mg
Sodium 440 mg
Carbohydrate 30 g
Dietary fiber 4 g
Sugars 15 g
Protein 38 g
Vitamin A 70 %
Vitamin C 15 %
Calcium 4 %
Iron 15 %

© 2008 Kraft Foods Inc. All rights reserved
http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/recipes/easy-roasted-pork-88936.aspx
~~~~~
BreakPoint
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Thursday
By Mark Earley
12/19/2008
A Secular Holiday

Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

It’s that time of year again—the time when the grinches of secularism tie themselves in knots trying to strip Christmas of its Christ-centered content.

One of the sillier stunts this year was pulled by Amazon.com. As Mark Steyn relates on National Review Online, Amazon invited customers to take part in their “Twelve Days of Holiday” sale. When he complained, Amazon changed the campaign back to “Twelve Days of Christmas.”

On radio host Michael Graham’s website, parents report that their kids’ teachers are inviting them to sing “The Twelve Days of Winter,” and “We Wish You a Happy Holiday.” Graham himself is mocking efforts to banish the “C” word by holding a contest in which people offer their favorite Christmas song butchery. One favorite: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Thursday.”

Meanwhile, city leaders are going all out to yank the Christ child out of any and all Christmas events. Pittsburgh turned its annual Christmas tree lighting celebration into “Light Up Night.” And the people of Forks, Washington, held a “Twinkle Light” parade, complete with the fat, jolly guy who, not long ago, was linked to a certain Christian holy day.

In recent years, Christians have begun to push back. For instance, faith groups have made up lists of stores whose employees are forbidden to wish customers a “Merry Christmas”—and suggest that Christians do their shopping somewhere else.

The Becket Fund for Religious Liberty prefers a lighter touch: It offers its Ebenezer Award “for the individual who most personifies the spirit of . . . Ebenezer Scrooge.” This year’s winner was Florida Gulf Coast University President Wilson Bradshaw. He won for cancelling the annual holiday card contest and for banning Christmas or other holiday decorations in the school’s public areas. But after a flurry of angry letters, Bradshaw relented. So instead of sending him a lump of coal, the Becket Fund sent him a gift basket.

OK, some of these “fighting back” measures can be a little goofy. But there’s a serious side to all of this. It’s not healthy that schools, businesses, and city leaders rout out every vestige of religious custom—often in the name of “diversity.” And it’s wrong for anti-Christmas groups to spread misinformation about what’s legal and what isn’t, and threaten to sue anyone who doesn’t toe their own particular line.

Thank heaven for religious freedom groups like the Alliance Defense Fund. Through a campaign called “Merry Christmas. It’s okay to say it,” the ADF has spread the word that it’s fine for kids to sing Christmas carols in public schools and pass out to school classmates candy canes, even with religious messages attached.

We ought to be glad someone is looking out for these rights. But, you know, we’ve got to also remember to be gracious if we happen to encounter a tired store clerk who wishes us a “happy holiday.” What kind of a witness is it if we scream back “MERRY CHRISTMAS” or threaten to call the manager?

As we wrap those last gifts and prepare for the church sing-along, we need to remember the whole point of Christmas is not to win battles, but to celebrate and joyfully share the Good News of the Child who was born to save us all from our sins—Jesus.

For Further Reading and Information

Mark Steyn, “Don We Now Our Vague Apparel,” The Corner, 6 December 2008.

Anne Morse, “That’s a New One,” The Point, 9 December 2008.

Alan Sears, “The Question of Christmas: Hope for the Holidays and Beyond,” BreakPoint Online, 21 December 2006.

“Can We Be Good Without God?: Billboard Blather,” BreakPoint Commentary, 25 November 2008.

“Creating Culture v. Consuming Culture: Ideas for Christmas,” BreakPoint Commentary, 13 December 2007.
~~~
Complications
By Chuck Colson
12/12/2008
The Dalai Lama, Christianity, and Sex

A prominent religious leader recently said that sex, however pleasurable it might be in the short run, leads to long-term trouble. He argued that celibacy is the way that leads to “more freedom.”

If you’re thinking that the leader was ridiculed for his comments, think again. The Associated Press described him as “waxing eloquent.” It probably helps that the “him” in question was the Dalai Lama.

Speaking in Lagos, Nigeria, the Tibetan leader said that giving in to “sexual pressure [and] desire” produces “short period satisfaction [that often] leads to more complication.”

While sexual desire is “natural,” the Dalai Lama said, our “human intelligence” should help us to understand the “ups and downs” that couples experience. In extreme cases, these “ups and downs” can take the form of “murder” and “suicide.” He even went on to say that attachment to our “partner” and even our children can become “an obstacle or hindrance [to our] peace of mind.”

Well, there are some things in these comments Christians can agree with. There’s also an awful lot that underscores the differences between Buddhism and Christianity.

For example, Christianity also commends celibacy. The apostle Paul wrote that whereas a married man is anxious about “how to please his wife,” the “unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord.” The avoidance of what Paul called “division of interest” is why Catholic priests are celibate.

But while both religions have a place for celibacy, their reasons are very different. For starters, in Christianity, celibacy isn’t chosen for the sake of the individual’s peace of mind. Nor to be detached from the world. Instead, it is something a person chooses to do for the sake of the Kingdom of God as a way to better serve God and his neighbor.

In addition, while Christianity acknowledges that marriage and family are full of “complications” and “ups and downs” that can cause suffering, it proclaims their goodness and sanctity.

Whereas in Buddhism, salvation consists of “becoming indifferent to the world, which is the source of evil,” in Christianity, “the world is God’s good creation, redeemed by Christ.”

For Christians, human institutions and their attachments are to be embraced, not renounced. This is especially true of the family.

As author Christopher West writes in his book Theology of the Body Explained, Christianity sees the union of husband and wife as “the fountainhead of civilization [and] the wellspring of culture.” Rather than being an obstacle to spiritual well-being, the conjugal relationship of spouses, when “open to God’s inspiration and ordered toward love and life . . . builds families and, in turn, a culture of love and life.”

Of course, as our hedonist culture has rejected the Christian view of sex, the result, as West observes, is the “disintegration of marriage” and “a culture of utility and death.”

Given the mess we have made of sex and marriage, the Dalai Lama’s detachment might look like a good alternative. But it pales in comparison to the joy experienced by husbands and wives who embrace God’s plan for creating a culture of love and life.

Yes, worldviews matter—a lot.
~
Please give a generous donation today to help Prison Fellowship and BreakPoint continue strong in the new year. Donate online or call 1-877-322-5527. Thank you!
~
For Further Reading and Information

“Sex Invariably Spells Trouble, Says Dalai Lama,” Breitbart, 28 November 2008.

Learn about the Theology of the Body Institute.

Christopher West, “Theology of the Body: A Compelling, Bold, Biblical Response to the Sexual Revolution,” BreakPoint WorldView, 10 June 2008.

Christopher West, Theology of the Body Explained (Pauline Books & Media, 2007).

“Friends with Benefits: The Logical Result of Domestic Partnerships,” BreakPoint Commentary, 30 September 2008.

“Getting What You Wished For: The Demise of Marriage in Britain,” BreakPoint Commentary, 15 April 2008.

© 2008 Prison Fellowship - - http://www.breakpoint.org/
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
sentinel: a person who watches out
sequacious: having a sequence; following
sepulcher: a grave chamber
elocution: an expert manner of speaking
homologous: corresponding in characteristics
ablaut: vowel change
beatific: giving joy
cached: hidden, stored
dastard: malicious coward
ecclesiastical: churchly
fabricate: make up
gaffe: tactless act
hackneyed: repeated too often
iambic: having two syllables
from http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
~~~~~
"Honest men are the soft easy cushions on which knaves repose and fatten." - Thomas Otway

"To choose what is difficult all one's day, as if it were easy, that is faith." - W.H. Auden

"Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind." - Theodor Seuss Geisel

"Words are loaded pistols." - Jean-Paul Sartre

"The world fears a new experience more than it fears anything. Because a new experience displaces so many old experiences." - D.H. Lawrence

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." - Nora Ephron

"Show me a good and gracious loser and I'll show you a failure." - Knute Rockne

"Take anything and everything seriously except yourselves." - Rudyard Kipling

"The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

"We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." - Winston Churchill

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

"The said truth is that it is the greatest happiness of the greatest number that is the measure of right and wrong." - Jeremy Bentham

"Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility." - James Thurber

"We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves." - Eric Hoffer

"My friends are my estate." - Emily Dickinson
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Christian Girl, Disfigured by Bomb, Forgives Terrorists
Teresa Neumann (December 20, 2008)
"The world has seen my face destroyed by the fire, now it must come to know my smile full of love and peace. I want to dedicate my life to spreading the Gospel."
(Orissa, India)—Namrata Nayak is a 10-year-old Christian girl who has forgiven the Hindu terrorists who set the bomb that burned and disfigured her in August. Talking to Asia News, Nayak said: "Christmas is a time to thank the baby Jesus who saved me from the fire and saved my face which was disfigured and wounded."

A report on WorldNetDaily adds that Nayak is urging other Christians to forgive their Hindu attackers. (Photo: Asia News)
"[W]e forgive the Hindu radicals who attacked us, who burned our homes," she said. "They were out of their minds, they do not know the love of Jesus. For this reason, I now want to study so that when I am older I can tell everyone how much Jesus loves us...The world has seen my face destroyed by the fire, now it must come to know my smile full of love and peace. I want to dedicate my life to spreading the Gospel."
~~
As Two More States Institute Assisted Suicide, Many Doctors Take Pledge to Only Promote Life
cc (December 18, 2008)
…doctors who have a pro-life stance, need support.
According to a report by Citizen Link, more doctors are pledging against the physician assisted suicide laws recently passed in both Montana and Washington.
Spokesman for the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition, Alex Schadenberg, noted that doctors who have a pro-life stance, need support. (Photo: take-the-pledge.com)
"Some of the physicians in Oregon opposed assisted suicide," Schadenberg said, adding that some then changed their stance to a neutral one after it was legalized.
The pledge reportedly underscores some of the wording in the Hippocratic Oath, by stating:
• I will treat the sick according to my best ability and judgment, always striving to do no harm. Whenever I care for a terminally-ill patient, I will provide optimal comfort care until natural death.

• I will also support my patients' wishes not to prolong the dying process with futile treatment. I will never give a deadly drug to anyone even if asked, nor will I suggest suicide.

• I will always affirm and guard these ethical principles with integrity, recognizing that every human life is inherently valuable.
In addition to doctors, there are similar pledges for medical caregivers and just concerned citizens as well. To access the Pledge website, CLICK [http://take-the-pledge.com/].
~~
Actor Gary Sinise Receives Second Highest Civilian Honor Available
Aimee Herd (December 17, 2008)
"I meet a lot of people who are very, very dedicated and who are willing to make sacrifices that—quite frankly—most of us aren't willing to make. It's a very, very small percentage of citizens of this country that go out and defend it."
Last week, President George W. Bush awarded actor Gary Sinise, the second highest civilian honor—the Presidential Citizens Medal—for his extensive work on behalf of US troops and Iraqi children.
According to the FOX News report, the medal is given only to "citizens who provide exemplary service to their nation."
In 2004, Sinise put together a group to entertain troops overseas.
"It was a little bit surreal," said Sinise, "I had 13 of my family members there… we walked into the Oval Office, and there was the President and the First Lady to greet us. He read the citation, and I stood with the President and he presented me with the medal. It went by all too quickly, but it was a wonderful honor."
"They were giving me this medal for supporting charity work, doing humanitarian things, and supporting the troops," continued Sinise, "but really, the reward I get for doing that is seeing people light up and have a good time when I show up and play some music for them."
Gary Sinise, along with Laura Hillenbrand (author of Seabiscuit), began the humanitarian organization Operation Iraqi Children, which sends donated school supplies to US troops in Iraq to pass out to schoolchildren there.
Regarding his experience with the troops, Gary added, "For people who don't know anything about our military; it's really a great representation of this country. You meet all kinds of people from all walks of life, from various places around this country and from around the world who want to become American citizens and serve the United States. I meet a lot of people who are very, very dedicated and who are willing to make sacrifices that—quite frankly—most of us aren't willing to make. It's a very, very small percentage of citizens of this country that go out and defend it."
Charles (Chuck) Colson was also given the Presidential Citizens Medal, for founding and working with Prison Fellowship—the organization that conducts outreaches to prisoners, former prisoners, crime victims, and their families.
To watch the FOX News video report of this interview, follow the link provided.
Source: Bill Hemmer – FOX News [http://www.foxnews.com/video2/video08.html?maven_referralObject=3307390&maven_referralPlaylistId=&sRevUrl=http://www.foxnews.com/index.html]
~~
Family Survivor of Jet Crash Prays for Pilot
Teresa Neumann (December 11, 2008)
"I pray for him not to suffer for this action. I know he's one of our treasures for our country."
EDITOR'S NOTE: When I heard what happened to this family, how this man, Dong Yun Yoon, lost so many loved ones in an instant, while he was at work, I couldn't even imagine how devastating that must be. I pray that the "peace that passes understanding" given by the God of all comfort would carry him through this time. What a blessing to find that this man DOES know the Lord, and that he is even praying for the jet pilot, who also must be saddled with painful emotions. Let's keep them in our prayers. –Aimee Herd, BCN.
(San Diego)—Korean immigrant Dong Yun Yoon is the only surviving member of his family after a Marine Corps F-18 fighter plane crashed into his home, killing his wife, two infant daughters and mother-in-law. (Photo: CNN)

Of the pilot of the jet, Yoon—a Christian—said, "I pray for him not to suffer for this action. I know he's one of our treasures for our country," adding, "I believe my wife and two babies and mother-in-law are in Heaven with God, and that God is taking care of them."

Breaking Christian News | 310 2nd Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97321 | Phone: (541)928-2642 | Email: editor@breakingchristiannews.com

310 2nd Ave SE
Albany, Oregon 97321
541-928-2642
E-mail editor@breakingchristiannews.com
US Orders: 1-866-358-7426
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GCF: Tree Care

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Last October, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia tree from our local nursery. After only a few weeks I noticed that the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared to be on its last legs in spite of my tender care.
So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery to demand an explanation or get my money back.
"I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager.
"Good!" I exclaimed. "What's it suffering from?"
You can imagine how stupid I felt when he simply said, "Autumn."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Cookie Rules

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Elizabeth) -Tom
-------------------------------------

If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories (water has the same properties here).
If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, rule #1 is yours also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free, as well.
Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
Any calories consumed during the frosting of The Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. (Make more red ones!)
Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have NO calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
As always, cookie "pieces" contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. (We all know how calories like to CLING!)
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. (It's a rule!)
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Puddle Jumper

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
-------------------------------------

My mother was recently on a flight returning from Utah. As the plane was a small puddle jumper, the flight attendants were required to demonstrate the life vest, the oxygen mask, etc. instead of turning on a video.
After they finished their presentation, one of them said "To those of you who listened, thank you. To those of you who ignored us, good luck."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Favorite Animal

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

My teacher said I was being disrespectful. She'd asked us what our favorite animal was, and I'd said, "Fried chicken".
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right. Everyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her "Colonel Sanders". She sent me to the principal's office again.
This school stuff is really confusing.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Marathon

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.
The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"
I replied: "You really want to know?" Then I dropped out of the race.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: The Nickel

Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Ann) -Tom
-------------------------------------

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel.
To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Church Football

Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Michael) -Tom
-------------------------------------

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the collection plate.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and people begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to be there for the whole service.
Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Out of Gas

Emailed to me another humor list (Tickled by Tony - Clean) -Tom Subscribe to the Tickled by Tony list by sending an email to: tickledbytony_clean-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas.
A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.
The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank.
Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Back Pain

Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor) -Tom To subscribe to Daily Humor, send a blank email to: Daily-Humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------

The guy came hobbling into the doctor's waiting room, assisted by his wife, and in obvious pain. The poor man could hardly move. When the nurse called his name, he could barely walk. Bent over and grimacing with pain, he shuffled along, his hands like two rigid claws. The nurse looked on sympathetically. "Oh dear," she said, "What is it? Arthritis with complications?"
"No," said the guy's wife, "Do-It-Yourself with concrete blocks."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: School Punishment

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Irene) -Tom
-------------------------------------

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / I read recipes the same way \ \_/ ////
\ / I read science fiction. I get \ /
\ _/ to the end and think, "Well, \_ /
/ / that's not going to happen." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / Doctors can be frustrating. \ \_/ ////
\ / You wait 6 weeks for an \ /
\ _/ appointment, and he says, \_ /
/ / "I wish you'd come to me sooner." \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No one ever says \ /
\ _/ "It's only a game" \_ /
/ / when their team is winning. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you choke a smurf, \ /
\ _/ what color does it turn? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How do they get the deer \ /
\ _/ to cross at that \_ /
/ / yellow road sign? \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "Never believe anything until \ /
\ _/ it has been officially denied." \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Patience will come \ /
\ _/ to him who waits for it. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / What do they use \ /
\ _/ to ship Styrofoam? \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No endangered insects \ /
\ _/ well, almost no rare insects \_ /
/ /were destroyed in composing this email.\ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / When a cow laughs, \ /
\ _/ does milk come out its nose? \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@kcbx.net |
| http://www.kcbx.net/~tellswor |
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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GROANERS

A man went for breakfast at his regular restaurant one morning. He ordered eggs Benedict. The order was served on a bright, shiny upside down hubcap. He asked the waiter why the unusual serving plate. The waiter replied "There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise." (Paul Harvey)

My local theater group was in trouble when the lead actor, Christopher, couldn't make the premier performance of "The Hound of the Baskervilles". So as his understudy, I told the young lady director, "I'll be Holmes for Chris, miss." (Robert Hampson)

One Sunday morning near Christmas, our pastor gathered all the young children in the congregation around him to tell the story of Christ's birth. When he asked if anyone knew the name of Jesus' earthly father, the children fell silent. My nephew, Cody, thought for a moment, then eagerly answered, "Virge!" Everyone looked rather confused until Cody explained, " You know, Virge 'n' Mary!" (Ian Miller)

OTHER HUMOR

Desserts: The reason for eating a meal.

Favorite Carols: “Oh, Pun all ye Faithful'” (Keith Martin)

Old telephone users never die, they just hang it up.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

Sign Of Christmas At a reducing salon: 24 Shaping Days until Christmas.

Grandson is staring at his grandfather. "Grandpa, were you on the ark when the Flood came?" "No, certainly not." "Well, then, why weren't you drowned?"

Thanks to Waneta
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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- - Jingle Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Thanks to Waneta
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THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK (BUT CAN'T OR SHOULDN'T)

**Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
**Does your train of thought have a caboose?
**Do I look like a people person?
**A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
**Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
**Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
**Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
**Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
**How do I set a laser printer to stun?
**I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Thanks to Waneta
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It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Thanks to Gary Foreman
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Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Thanks to Waneta
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Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ? Yes!

Think about this one:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone-- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

Thanks to John Burge
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sometimes, the ones you've heard before are still "laugh-out-loud-funny" (and I love the comments from other people who hear me in my office, laughing alone).
========================
Subject: How to be a "Smart" Businessman

Young Chuck, moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck grew up and works for the government.

Thanks to Joe Tudor
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Lumberjack and the Chainsaw

One day a lumberjack went into the hardware store crying over his broken ax. It had been in the family for five generations, and they had been able to cut down one hundred trees per day with this ax. The lumberjack could not part with it and asked the clerk for help. The clerk said, "Not to worry -- everything is going to be all right. I have plenty of ax handles." After a moment, the clerk inquired, "Say, you can cut down one hundred trees with this ax in one day?"

The lumberjack replied, "Yes, we have been doing it for five generations."

The clerk went on to pitch, "Well, I have something that will cut down five hundred trees in one day."

"Five hundred trees!!! What'cha got?" asked the lumberjack with excitement.

"A chainsaw," replied the clerk.

"A chainsaw? What's a chainsaw?"

The clerk plopped a device on the counter. The lumberjack oogled over it and said, "I'll take it!"

The next day, the lumberjack came in hot as a pistol, yelling at the clerk as he slammed the chainsaw down on the counter. "You lied to me! You said that this would cut down five hundred trees in one day! I couldn't even cut down one!"

"Well, let's see what is wrong." The clerk looked over the device, turned a few knobs, and pulled the rip cord. "Vvvaaaaaarrrroooommmm!" the device roared as it came alive.

The lumberjack jumped back in horror. "What's that noise?"

Received from Brian DeLuca.

(-:][:-)

Sleeping Juror

A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep."

The judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; you wake him up."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

A Bit of History?

The three Goldberg brothers, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air conditioner.

On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The three brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that three gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, in which it was about 130 degrees. They then turned on the air conditioner and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to his office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, "The Goldberg Air-Conditioner," on the dashboard of each car that it was installed in.

Now, old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldbergs' name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million, and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Norm, Hi, and Max on the dashboard.

Received from Andrea.

(-:][:-)

Wildcats

It was the first week of school, and little Katie was sitting in her first grade classroom. The teacher was explaining about herself and said that she was a Kansas State Wildcat. She asked who else in the class was a Wildcat. The first graders didn't really know what she was talking about but, wanting to be just like their teacher, they all raised their hands except little Katie. The teacher asked Katie why she wasn't raising her hand and Katie responded, "Well, I'm proud to be a Kansas Jayhawk."

The teacher was slightly annoyed, so she asked Katie, "Why do you think you're a Jayhawk?"

Katie answered, "Well, my mommy's a Jayhawk and my daddy's a Jayhawk, so I'm a Jayhawk too."

The teacher, trying to catch her, asked, "If your mommy was a moron and your daddy was a moron, would that make you a moron?"

Without missing a beat, Katie responded, "No, then I would be a Wildcat."

Received from Mary.

(-:][:-)

Guard-ening

A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up all the back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

A Terrible Tragedy

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head "no" and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy,' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Sourdough Firefighters

One night out in rural Alaska, a fire started inside the local fuel plant.

Before long, it exploded into flames, and an alarm went out to the local volunteer fire department.

After fighting the fire for over an hour, the fuel company president approached a fireman and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. I will give your department $50,000 if you can bring me the plans!"

As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered another fire engine, pronto.

All that was left was a backup reserve group of firefighters over at the station situated way up on top of a hill five miles away.

When the phone call came in from the dispatcher, the ol' sourdough firefighters, none younger than 65 years old, were playing poker, smoking cigars, and talking about the old pioneer gold mining days way back when. They all rushed into their gear, meandered over to their old beat-up fire truck, and drove down the hill toward the blaze at the fuel plant.

The little fire engine raced smack dab into a crowd of people, including a television news crew, running over fire hoses, just missing firefighters and equipment, and stopping right in the middle of the blazing inferno.

In the distance the other firemen watched as the old sourdoughs hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before.

After 15 minutes of intense firefighting, the old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.

Joyous, the fuel company president announced to the news crew that he would double the reward to $100,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the old sourdoughs. After thanking them individually, the news crew interviewed the men and asked what they intended to do with the 100 grand.

The fire truck driver looked straight into the camera and said, "The first thing we're gonna do is fix them dang brakes on that truck!"

Received from Stephen L Fields.

(-:][:-)

Giving Birth at 65

With all the new technology in fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the new baby?" I asked.

"Not yet," she said. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"

"When he cries," she told me.

"When he CRIES?" I demanded. "Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?"

"Because I forgot where I put him, OK?!"

Received from Diane Berry.

(-:][:-)

Happy Birthday

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, "Sixty-two."

He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "Did you start at one?"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

Truth Leaks From Alabama

In recent years, we've all heard about the controversy of having the Ten Commandments hanging in the gallery of the Supreme Court of the State of Alabama. The truth about why they were removed has just come to light, but before sharing that with you, let's review of quick summation of the Ten
Commandments:

God is first in everything

Don't replace God with idols

Don't use God's name in vain

Saturday is the Sabbath (deal with it)

Honor your parents

Don't kill

Don't sleep with someone that you're not married to

Don't steal

Don't tell lies

Don't long for (a.k.a. drool over) something that's not yours

Please notice Commandments 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, and remember that the Alabama Supreme Court is a building full of lawyers and politicians. There is no way that document and those two groups could ever exist together in the same place!

Received from GARY BANTA / Colton, CA.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2008/11/20/dental-verse/ - - Dental Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)
A limerick and a haiku (senryu) with teeth today. First, my limerick:

I think I’m becoming unglued —
Not my mind, but a cap caught on food.
But I can’t blame the guy
Who implanted it. Why?
I forgot to get perm-glued — not shrewd!

And now my haiku (senryu):

The left and the right
May mouth off at each other,
But both hate dentists.

http://www.madkane.com
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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| Safety from the Heart |
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December 16. 2008
www.tstf.com
The Baton Rouge Tower Safety Committee would like to wish you and your family a safe and happy holiday season.

Lighting the way for Papa Noel?
Keep electric wires out of walkways. Put them where nobody can trip over them or tape them down.
Use flame-retardant decorations and keep paper decorations and tinsel away from hot lights.
If you decorate your yard or the outside of your house, use only lights and cords labeled for outdoors.
Use a dry wooden ladder when installing outdoor decorations. Dry wood won’t conduct an electric current.
Unplug all decorative lights, both inside and outside, when leaving home or going to bed.

Going Green?
Selecting a fresh tree? Shake it. If it is losing needles, don’t purchase it.
Water your tree well. A dry tree is more likely to catch fire. Your tree stand should hold at least one gallon of water. A 6-foot tree
will use approximately one (1) gallon of water every two (2) days.
Don’t forget to check the water level daily. Dry Christmas trees burn very hot and quickly.

Selecting an artificial tree? Look for the “Fire Resistant” label.
Keep a portable fire extinguisher close to the tree.
Never place your tree near heat sources, including heating vents.
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| Safety from the Heart |
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December 16, 2008
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Robert Joyner.
...................................................................
Safety and Saving Time

Time, on any construction project, is money: Wasted Time = Wasted Money. So it goes without saying that the key to a profitable project is getting it done "on-time" or within budget. But getting the project done quicker does NOT mean getting it done in a manner which is not safe. To ensure that time is utilized to its best and that job site safety is maintained, use the following, time saving tips.
Keep an orderly work site. Assign one or two people the responsibility of keeping the job site clean so the workers don't have to climb or walk around construction materials and waste. Make it an ongoing process and don't leave the mess to clean up at the end of the day, because it won't get done! A clean site is a safe site.
Send any unused material back to the shop as soon as possible. This keeps the site clean and orderly and gives management the opportunity the ship the materials to another site where they can be used.
Don't overcrowd materials and workers. Give the crew room to work; they will be quicker and safer.
Although you have now assigned a person or team the responsibility for a clean and safe work site, make sure that the rest of the crew understands that it is EVERYONE'S responsibility to maintain good housekeeping standards.
Always keep an eye out for the little thing that may cause an accident; an accident is Lost Time, Big Time.
Keep the tool boxes and cabinets neat and orderly. It doesn't take much imagination to realize that digging around for a misplaced tool is lost time. And using the Wrong tool because you could not find the Right tool is, in most all cases, unsafe and a no no.
Put the garbage in the garbage. This may seem simple but how many of you just walk away from that fast food bag after lunch? Now the wind comes up and the stuff is blowing all over the place. PUT IT IN THE TRASH before someone twists their back getting it out of a trench that is ready to backfill, or worse yet, falls into the trench head first.
All this boils down to one simple statement which we have all heard over and over again: "Put Things Where They Belong". By doing so you will be using time to its best, and you will make the job easier, smoother, quicker.......and Safer.
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| Safety from the Heart |
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December 15, 2008
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Tripp Joyner.
....................................................................
Driving Safely in Traffic

When you are driving in traffic, what are some things you must do to avoid accidents? Avoiding accidents in traffic is a little different than avoiding accidents on the open road. Long-distance drivers know that fatigue is responsible for numerous accidents. But what causes accidents when you are driving around town, making frequent stops? This Tail Gate Safety Topic discusses some of the causes of these accidents and what you can do to prevent them.
Many people spend a lot of time on the road as they are working. On any city street you are likely to see delivery vans, couriers, salespeople, and utility persons making frequent stops as they conduct their business. Some people spend many hours in traffic just going to and from work. Even though the mileage may be small, the amount of time spent on the road is very long. Every hour spent on the road increases your chance of having an accident.
Certainly speed is a factor in accidents. Many accidents happen simply because the driver is going too fast. City streets usually have speed limits of less than 25 miles per hour, and often you will see posted limits as low as 5 or 10 miles per hour. Speed limits are carefully selected to minimize the chances of accidents. When traffic is heavy, there just isn't very much distance between you and the next vehicle to stop. The slower you're going, the less distance it will take to stop. By going slowly, you will also be able to observe your surroundings more easily, taking note of cyclists, pedestrians, and other vehicles. Observing the speed limit is one sure way to reduce your chance of an accident. On rainy, foggy, or snowy days keep your speed even lower.
When you make stops, park your vehicle carefully. Avoid leaving it in a space that's likely to block traffic or create a blind spot. As you exit the vehicle look both ways before stepping into the road or onto the sidewalk. You'll want to avoid collisions with other vehicles as well as bicycles and passerby. If you must load things into or out of your vehicle, be sure your load does not obstruct your vision. It is better to make several trips with smaller loads than to overload yourself to the point you cannot see other vehicles. It will also help prevent tripping and falling over objects in your path.
Perhaps the main cause of accidents in traffic is a simple matter of not paying attention. In traffic, it is easy to become distracted, frustrated, and annoyed. Any of these can cause you to pay less attention than you should, often resulting in rear-end collisions when the vehicle in front of you stops. Running stop lights and stop signs is also a possibility if you are not paying attention.
Sometimes paying attention to the wrong things causes accidents, too. Reading addresses on buildings, street signs, and maps while driving can lead to accidents. You will be better off if you find a place to pull over safely while you read signs and addresses. Even better, try to pinpoint the exact location when you plan your trip--before you begin driving.
Fatigue is also a contributor to traffic accidents. After a long day's work, or perhaps a morning when you didn't rest well the night before, you are likely to feel tired. Feeling tired causes you to become distracted easily and also slows your reflexes. Don't take chances driving when you feel too tired to be safe. If fatigue is a frequent problem, see your doctor. For occasional fatigue, combat it with adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise.
To drive safely in traffic you must keep your speed down, pay attention, and avoid driving when you are tired. Many accidents and injuries could be prevented by following these precautions. Next time you're in traffic, remember these things and keep yourself safe!
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| Safety from the Heart |
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SLOW COOKER FIRE HAZARD
I wanted to share a safety story that could affect many people at their homes.
My family has a slow cooker (crock-pot) that we use quite often. A couple of weeks ago I filled the pot and turned it on early in the morning. I was off that day and checked the pot about an hour later to make sure that it was heating up. The pot was cold so I did a little investigation to determine what the problem was. I first checked the obvious to make sure that the control knob was in the “on” position. It was, so I checked the breaker and it was also in the “on” position. So, I unplugged the pot and turned it over to make sure the cord was properly connected. This is when I discovered that the cord was burned and the bare wires were showing. As I looked at the bottom of the pot I also noticed that the heating element had fallen down onto the bottom of the plastic housing and burned through it. The cord was burned after the heating element burned (or melted) through the bottom housing. Fortunately the breaker at my electrical panel did its job and tripped after the wire had burned through and arced. There was no damage done to the counter top and no fire occurred and the only damage was to the pot and the cord. It appears that the heating element some how came unsecured inside the pot and this caused the issue. I did an Internet search to see if this problem would come up. And, the very first item found was a bulletin from the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) identifying the issue and stating to bring the appliance back to Wal-Mart immediately. The bulletin was dated June 15, 2004. I have attached a link to the bulletin for more information. The pot is a General Electric Cool Touch Slow Cooker. If you or anyone else you know has one please stop using it immediately and bring it back to Wal-Mart (where it was only sold) for a full refund. Below is a picture of the slow cooker and another picture that shows the damage. Link to CPSC Recall Bulletin
http://www.cpsc.gov/CPSCPUB/PREREL/PRHTML04/04159.html
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| Safety from the Heart |
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December 12, 2008
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Tripp Joyner.
..............................................................
Back Safety

Back disorders are listed in the "top ten" leading workplace injuries published by the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health. They account for 27 percent of all nonfatal injuries and illnesses involving days away from work. It's no wonder. Your back is a sophisticated piece of machinery made up of numerous muscles, bones, nerves, and supporting tissues. It's a machine you use every day, probably in ways you don't even notice.

Just like the finest machinery, your back requires proper care to keep it working. If it's not working right, you'll suffer. An injured back affects your ability to move your limbs, your hips, your neck, and your head. Injuries to the back can be very debilitating, causing a lot of pain, time away from work, and often requiring physical therapy or even surgery. Everyone whose job involves stressful lifting or awkward postures is at risk for a back injury. Here are some tips to keep your back in optimum condition:

While lifting:
Don't bend over an object you are lifting. Bend your knees, squatting in front of the object to reach it.
Lift the object slowly and carefully, using your leg and arm muscles to lift, not pulling with your back.
Keep your head up and look straight ahead while making the lift.
While lifting, keep the object as close to your body as possible.
Keep abdominal muscles tight while making the lift.
Use the same techniques when you put the object down.
If the object is too big or too heavy to lift using these techniques, use mechanical assistance or get someone else to help.

When reaching for objects:
Do not reach for an object unless you're sure you're strong enough to lift it.
Use a step ladder to reach objects above shoulder height.
Avoid awkward stretches while reaching. These stress your back and could cause you to lose your balance.
Don't depend on structures to support you (e.g., a shelf support, a storage rack, etc.). These could easily give way if you pull or tug on them.

Exercise also plays an important role in keeping your back strong, healthy, and flexible. A properly exercised back is less likely to be injured. Your physician, company medical personnel, or other heath-care provider can recommend the best exercises for you, taking into account your physical condition and the type of work you do.

Finally, a word about back belts. There's a lot of controversy about using back belts to control low back injuries in workers who don't have an existing injury. According to a report published by the National Safety Council, available scientific data does not completely support nor condemn the use of back belts to control low back injuries. One thing that is agreed upon is that back belts should never be a substitute for a comprehensive back injury prevention program. Taking this into consideration, many companies have developed a back belt policy. If you do use a back belt, be aware that you may experience a false sense of security by wearing the belt. You may be tempted to lift loads you wouldn't otherwise lift. Remember, it's your back doing the work--not the belt!

Always be alert for situations that could cause a back injury. Be kind to your back. Don't take unnecessary chances. By following proper lifting and reaching techniques and exercising properly, you'll help keep back problems behind you!
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| Safety from the Heart |
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December 11, 2008
www.tstf.com

'Tis The Season For festivities, merry-making, and family gatherings. In the midst of your holiday celebrating, be sure to keep safety first during this holiday season. Each year we hear about people injured or homes that are destroyed or damaged because someone overlooked safety precautions this time of year. Whether enjoying Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or a New Year’s Eve festivity, practice safety as you decorate your house, shop, and travel. Here are some important tips to discuss with your family.

Decorating done right! Each year, more than 12,000 people are treated in our nation’s emergency rooms due to cuts, falls, electrical shocks and burns from faulty holiday decorations or from accidents that occur while putting decorations in place, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). Play it safe as you decorate.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Vol 14, Number 8 09 Dec 2008

Mess Up Your Computer! / Gadget Gifts / Online Shopping Tips / Blu-ray Doomed? / Radar Detectors / Cloud Computing
+ ------------------------------------- +
In today's TOURBUS, you'll learn how (not) to mess up your computer in ten easy steps. I've also got some gadget gift giving recommendations, and online shopping tips that will save you money. On the tech front, find out if Blu-ray will make the cut, then learn about radar detectors and Cloud Computing. Read on!

HOW TO MESS UP YOUR COMPUTER
Aside from actually drop-kicking it or smashing it with a sledge hammer, it's fairly difficult to actually "break" a computer. That said, there are a number of ways to render your computer just slightly more useful than a doorstop.
Certain careless acts can cause crashes, freezes, painfully slow performance, loss of data or invasion of your privacy. Here's my list of Ten Stupid Things You Can Do To Mess Up Your Computer...
[http://askbobrankin.com/how_to_mess_up_your_computer.html]

GREAT GADGET GIFTS

Sometimes when I'm shopping for electronics, I get Diner Syndrome. You know that feeling, when there are just too many choices on the menu? If you're looking to purchase a cell phone, music player, Blu-ray player, PDA, pocket video cam, digital camera, or GPS, then you'll find my "Top 3" approach a handy guide.
I scanned the Net for you and found the best deals for the money, as well as the most reliable brands in each category. Read on for my personal recommendations to help you make your gadget gift giving decisions...
[http://askbobrankin.com/great_gadget_gifts.html]

ONLINE SHOPPING DISCOUNTS AND COUPON SITES
So you're just about the hit the "Buy Now" button, and that little voice says: "Are you sure you're getting the best possible deal on this purchase?" You'd be smart to listen to the little voice, because if you haven't done your research with a price comparison search engine, or looked for an online coupon or discount code, you're probably paying more than you should. Here's the scoop on the best price comparison websites, and where to find killer coupons for online deals...
[http://askbobrankin.com/online_shopping_discounts.html]

IS BLU-RAY DOOMED?
Some tech pundits are saying that Blu-ray won the battle but may be losing the war. In early 2008, after a hotly contested battle against the backers of the HD-DVD format, the Blu-ray camp appeared to emerge victorious in the high-definition DVD wars. But even though prices on Blu-ray players are falling, consumers are not flocking to buy them. See my six reasons why, and find out if there's any hope for the success of Blu-ray in the marketplace...
[http://askbobrankin.com/is_bluray_doomed.html]

RADAR DETECTORS
Have you ever gotten a ticket in a speed trap and wished there was a way to level the playing field? A radar detector on your dashboard could be the answer. Read my review of the Escort Passport 9500ci, which is billed as "The World's Most Intelligent Custom Installed Radar and Laser Defense System." For background information, see my companion article on radar detectors, find out how they work, and get the story of why I have one.
[http://askbobrankin.com/radar_detectors.html] [http://askbobrankin.com/passport_9500ci_radar_detector.html]

CLOUD COMPUTING
A reader asked: "I'm hearing the term Cloud Computing more and more. One friend told me that it means computers will soon not need a hard drive. Is that correct?"
There's a silver lining of truth in that statement, but you won't have to part with your beloved hard drive any time soon. Cloud Computing is the idea of accessing files, software and computing services through the Internet instead of on your personal computer. One of the primary benefits of Cloud Computing is the ability to create, update and store your files online through any computer that has access to the web. You may already be doing just that! Learn more about Cloud Computing...

[http://askbobrankin.com/cloud_computing.html]

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Here's my special recipe to clean that icky goo out of your computer's pipes, so Windows will start quicker, run more reliably, and go faster on the info-superhighway.

• Free Calls With Skype [http://askbobrankin.com/free_calls_with_skype.html]
Skype is a software package that lets you make free calls to almost anyone, anywhere in the world. Here's how to get started...

• Free Internet Security Software [http://askbobrankin.com/should_i_buy_antispyware_or_antivirus_software.html]
Staying safe on the Internet doesn't have to cost big bucks. Here are my recommendations for the best FREE anti-virus, anti-spyware, and popup blocker software.
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In case you didn't know, in addition to publishing the TOURBUS newsletter, I also operate Flowers Fast! - an online flower and gift delivery service. Stop in and check out our beautiful holiday arrangements and gourmet gifts. I've tried hard to make the site fast and easy to navigate, and the prices will definitely save you money. Don't forget to use the $5 coupon code and please tell a friend about FlowersFast too. [http://flowersfast.com/?TB]
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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
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The Pump Handle. A water cooler for the public health crowd.

Here are links to items posted on The Pump Handle over the past week:

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski Indiana National Guard troops who were exposed to the carcinogen sodium dichromate at a water plant in Iraq sue KBR, the contractor in charge of the site; Western Hemisphere nations agreed to review labor and environmental practices; and a trucker speaks out in support of California's regulation to clean up heavy-duty diesel trucks. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/19/occupational-health-news-roundup-94/

** "Dear Leo, Thanks" by Celeste Monforton United Steelworkers International President Leo Gerard reminds us to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/18/dear-leo-thanks/

** "FDA wants just a few more BPA studies" by Ruth Long Despite over 130 studies linking bisphenol A to health problems, FDA wants more studies before it will alter its stance on the chemical. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/18/fda-wants-just-a-few-more-bpa-studies/

** "Public health: how to join the conversation" by revere The Pump Handle and Effect Measure continue to encourage comments on the series about public health. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/18/public-health-how-to-join-the-conversation/

** "3rd Circuit judges laud workerś right-to-know" by Celeste Monforton Questions from the three-judge panel hearing oral arguments on petitions for reviewing OSHÁs hexavalent chromium standard demonstrate that the court understands the importance of the issues involved. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/3rd-circuit-justices-laud-workers-right-to-know/

** "Public health: what is it?" by revere Comments on previous posts about public health suggest that we have different ideas about what public health actually encompasses. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/public-health-what-is-it/

** "OSHA Sends Diacetyl Document to OMB" by Celeste Monforton If the OSHA document on diacetyl listed on OMB́s website is only an advance notice of proposed rule making, it́s an insincere and callous move by the Bush Administration to pretend they taking action to protect workers. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/16/osha-sends-diacetyl-document-to-omb/

** "Public health: who cares?" by revere Should the public health community work harder to make the public care about public health? Opinions within the public health community differ. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/16/public-health-who-cares/
** "Good OSHA Rule on Personal Protective Equipment" by Celeste Monforton OSHA issued a good final rule on Friday, Dec 12 designed to clarify employers' duty to provide personal protective equipment (PPE) and train employees on the proper use of the PPE. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/15/good-osha-rule-on-personal-protective-equipment/

** "Public health: starting the conversation" by revere It́s time for a rethinking of public health, from he ground up, questioning all assumptions, ideological and practical, and not settling for the kind of slogans we in public health had been ritually mouthing for years. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/15/public-health-starting-the-conversation/

** "FDA and EPA Clash over Mercury in Fish" by Liz Borkowski According to a draft report obtained by the Washington Post, FDA wants to encourage women of childbearing age to consume more fish – even though EPA scientists recently reported that mercury concentrations in 10% of women nationwide exceeded the level that may pose a risk to fetuses. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/fda-and-epa-clash-over-mercury-in-fish/

** "Scars in an upside down tree" by revere Despite the decline in asbestos use, people are still dying from the terrible process that occurs when asbestos fibers get into human lungs. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/scars-in-an-upside-down-tree/

** "Popcorn Lung Roadhouse Blues" by Celeste Monforton The Occupational Health and Safety Section of the American Public Health Association gets silly in song as part of its commitment to workers' health. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/11/popcorn-lung-roadhouse-blues/

** "Dracunculiasis: death of the fiery serpent" by revere Guinea worm may become the second parasitic infection to be eliminated from the world. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/11/dracunculiasis-death-of-the-fiery-serpent/

** "Occupational Health News Roundup" by Liz Borkowski A bus passenger stabs a Brooklyn bus driver to death over a transfer; trucking workers exposed to diesel exhaust have an elevated risk of lung cancer; and the Institute of Medicine recommends that medical residents work no more than 16 hours without taking a five-hour sleep break. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/occupational-health-news-roundup-93/

** "And another thing about OSHA's overdue crane rule" by Celeste Monforton The public process on rulemaking is valuable, but the latest delays on OSHA's crane and derrick rule show how the system is often gamed so that protective standards for workers are delayed excessively. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/and-another-thing-about-oshas-overdue-crane-rule/

** "More Delays on OSHA's Overdue Crane Rule" by Celeste Monforton OSHA has again delayed its crane safety rule, this time by extending the comment period – even though the homebuilder group requesting the extension was part of the negotiated rulemaking process that produced the rule. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/09/more-delays-on-oshas-overdue-crane-rule/

** "Another Flu Concern: Staph Infections" by Liz Borkowski Bacterial infections play a growing role in children's flu-related deaths. It's hard to avoid the bacteria, but preventing the flu can prevent co-infections. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/09/another-flu-concern/

** "Time for Flu Shots" by Liz Borkowski It's National Influenza Vaccination Week, and CDC explains why you should get a flu shot. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/08/time-for-flu-shots/

** "Friday Blog Roundup" by Liz Borkowski
Bloggers give us the latest news on efforts to stop mountaintop-removal mining; report on the Bush administration's last-minute move to strip workers of protections; and cautions us to think carefully about what we really mean by "health reform."
http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/friday-blog-roundup-102/

Bloggers react to the news of Obamás picks for top environmental posts; alert readers to rollbacks of air pollution rules; and explain why the "teach a man to fish" proverb might not be the best guiding idea for international HIV/AIDS assistance. http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/friday-blog-roundup-103/

http://thepumphandle.wordpress.com/
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.

Worker dies in 50-foot fall from lift truck
Dec. 12, Kokomo, IN - A worker repairing a billboard along U.S. 31 near Kokomo died when he fell 50 feet from the bucket of a lift truck. Howard County Coroner Jay Price says an autopsy Friday in Fort Wayne showed 54-year-old Vance Collins of Walton died of blunt force trauma and multiple fractures. Authorities say Collins, who worked for Reed Signs Inc. of Kokomo, was in the bucket with another worker about 3:30 p.m. Thursday when the bucket tipped sideways and Collins fell, suffering head injuries.

Man Atop Ladder Near Utility Pole Electrocuted
Dec. 14, District Heights, MD - A contractor working on a utility line in District Heights was electrocuted yesterday, authorities said. The man had climbed an aluminum ladder propped against a utility pole in the 6600 block of Grafton Street. The metal ladder came in contact with a high-voltage utility line and the man fell when he got a shock, said Mark Brady, spokesman for the Prince George's Fire and Emergency Services Department. The man was pronounced dead at the scene after Pepco technicians were able to cut power to the line, Brady said. Prince George's police did not immediately identify the man. An investigation is continuing.

Death rolls on street in Brooklyn trash truck horror
Dec. 11, New York, NY - The driver of a runaway garbage truck was crushed to death Thursday as he tried to climb back into the vehicle as it careened down a Brooklyn street, plowing into parked cars, police and witnesses said. Thomas Guzzardo, 52, left the Chambers Papers Fibers truck idling on Lexington Ave. in Bedford-Stuyvesant as he collected boxes around 1:30p.m. Somehow the truck began to roll down the street smashing into at least 16 parked cars.

Man crushed under trash truck
Dec. 12, Riverside, CA - A 41-year-old Rancho Cucamonga man was the victim of a fatal industrial accident at a trash recycling yard in Perris, according to Riverside County coroner's and sheriff's officials. Efre Aceituno-Deleon died about 7 p.m. Wednesday at Menifee Valley Medical Center, 40 minutes after he was pinned beneath an axle of a trash truck on which he was working, Deputy Sheriff Herlinda Valenzuela said in a written statement.

Contract worker killed at Ky. mine
Dec. 12, Frankfort, KY - A contract worker has been killed at a western Kentucky mine in an accident involving a bucket lift. Energy and Environment Cabinet spokesman Jim Carroll said 31-year-old Timothy Ross Albright of Madisonville died Thursday after the lift malfunctioned, causing him to strike his head on an overhead beam at a coal preparation plant under construction at Manitou. Carroll said in a press release that Albright was installing electrical wiring when the accident occurred.

Helicopter Was Headed Toward Oil Rig In Gulf
Dec. 12, Boston, MA - A Quincy man died when his helicopter went down in the Gulf of Mexico on Thursday. Joe Laugelle, who also piloted Sky 5 for WCVB-TV, was flying a helicopter to an oil rig off the coast of Texas. Two other people died in the crash and two others were reported missing.

Schaumburg employee dies in machinery accident
Dec. 12, Glenview, IL - A male worker at a Schaumburg metal distribution plant was killed Friday morning when his head was caught in a large machine, Schaumburg police reported. Brian Jensen was pronounced dead at Alexian Brothers Medical Center in Elk Grove Village at 10:41 a.m., according to a Cook County Medical Examiner's office spokesman, who said Jensen suffered trauma to the head at 1900 Mitchell Blvd in Schaumburg.

ATI Alldyne worker's death investigated
Dec. 11, Huntsville, AL - 3 others treated after possible fume exposure at plant. Gary Wiseheart, 55, died Monday at Huntsville Hospital after being found unconscious at his job. Wiseheart - who was working at ATI Alldyne in Huntsville Sunday when he passed out - could've been subject to chemical exposure involving hydrogen sulfide fumes as a byproduct of a process at the plant, according to Don Webster, chief operations officer for HEMSI.

http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died from wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device Dec. 4 in Mosul, Iraq.
Killed were:
01. Staff Sgt. Solomon T. Sam, 26, of Majuro, Marshall Islands. He was assigned to the 523rd Engineer Company, 84th Engineer Battalion, 130th Engineer Brigade, 8th Theater Sustainment Command, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.
02. Sgt. John J. Savage, 26, of Weatherford, Texas. He was assigned to the 103rd Engineer Company, 94th Engineer Battalion, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.

03. Pvt. Colman J. Meadows III, 19, of Senoia, Ga., died Dec. 16, at Forward Operating Base Ramrod, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
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Marine Pilot Missing In Action From WWII Is Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is Maj. Marion R. McCown Jr., U.S. Marine Corps, of Charleston, S.C. He will be buried on Jan. 18 in Charleston.

Representatives from the Marine Corps Mortuary Office met with McCown’s next-of-kin to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the secretary of the Navy.

On Jan. 20, 1944 McCown was the pilot of an F-4U Corsair aircraft that failed to return from a combat mission over Rabaul, New Britain, Papua New Guinea.

In 1991, a Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) team excavated an F-4U crash site in Rabaul and recovered human remains and McCown’s identification tag. However, forensic science at that time precluded an identification.

In 2006, a JPAC team surveyed the crash site in preparation for a recovery. While at the site, a villager living in the area turned over to the team human remains that he claimed to have recovered from the site. In 2008, another JPAC team excavated the site and recovered additional human remains.

Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from JPAC used dental comparisons in the identification of McCown’s remains.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1420.
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Servicemen MIA From Vietnam War are Identified

The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the group remains of six U.S. servicemen, missing from the Vietnam War, are soon to be buried with full military honors.

They are Maj. Bernard L. Bucher, of Eureka, Ill.; Maj. John L. McElroy, of Eminence, Ky.; 1st Lt. Stephen C. Moreland, of Los Angeles; and Staff Sgt. Frank M. Hepler, of Glenside, Pa., all U.S. Air Force. These men will be buried as a group on Dec. 18 in Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C.

Two other servicemen, who were individually identified in October 2007, are also represented in this group. They are Capt. Warren R. Orr Jr., U.S. Army, of Kewanee, Ill., and Airman 1st Class George W. Long, U.S. Air Force, of Medicine Lodge, Kan.

Representatives from the Air Force and the Army mortuary offices met with the next-of-kin of these men to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the secretary of the Air Force and the secretary of the Army.

On May 12, 1968, these men were on board a C-130 Hercules evacuating Vietnamese citizens from the Kham Duc Special Forces Camp near Da Nang, South Vietnam. While taking off, the crew reported taking heavy enemy ground fire. A forward air controller flying in the area reported seeing the plane explode in mid-air soon after leaving the runway.

In 1986 and 1991, U.S. officials received remains and identification tags from sources claiming they belonged to men from this incident. Scientific analysis revealed they were not American remains, but it was believed the Vietnamese sources knew where the crash site was located.

In 1993, a joint/U.S.-Socialist Republic of Vietnam (SRV) team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), traveled to Kham Duc and interviewed four local citizens concerning the incident. They led the team to the crash site and turned over remains and identification tags they had recovered in 1983 while looking for scrap metal. During this visit, the team recovered human remains and aircraft wreckage at the site. In 1994, another joint team excavated the crash site and recovered remains, pieces of life-support equipment, crew-related gear and personal effects.

JPAC scientists used forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence in the identification of the remains.

For additional information on the DOD’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO web site at www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Activities and Events of Interest - - Coming Events
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First United Methodist Church is hosting "A Night in Bethlehem" from 3:30-5:30 p.m. on Sunday. Peace Hall will be transformed into a crowded Bible times village. Visitors will find out what it was like to be in Bethlehem when Jesus was born.
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Scheduled Activities
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CQ CQ all Hams. We have restarted a 2 meter net on the Willisville repeater, 146.655, every Tuesday evening at 7 PM. Please check in and spread the word. We would like to get some renewed interest in amateur radio and the ARKLA Amateur Radio Association. Will be listening for everyone next Tuesday night.
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner-News through e-mail?
E-mail addresses for communicating with the newspaper’s various departments are: news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events.
advertising@bannernews. net For retail and classified advertising.
circulation@bannernews. net To start, stop or cancel newspaper delivery or for comments about delivery.
outfitters @bannernews.net For Office Outfitters, the office supply division of the Banner-News.
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. - Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day - James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 5:16-20 Luke 21:5-6 Phil 2:14-16 2 Cor 2:10-11 1 Tim 1:14-16 1 Ki 7:13-14 1 Cor 3:3-6 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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